Short stories using Old School thought for today's society. Join me and let's change the way we think today for a greater world tomorrow.
United States Navy veteran, over the road truck driver, welder, plumber, truck driver trainer, sign installer and haulage truck driver for copper mine. After injury in mine (which retired me early in life) I am now blogging the wisdom I have learned through life, with hope of helping others using common sense and old school thought.
CSI is proud to present this insightful and informative post
written by Julia Mitchell
A healthy lifestyle can help minimize the risk of serious illness and result in a longer lifespan. That doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to eat sweets and have to run five kilometers every day. Many smaller, easy-to-adopt habits can make a big difference to your well-being. The guide below covers some actionable health tips that even busy adults can incorporate into their lives.
Ensure you’re getting enough sleep
Sleep allows your mind and body to rest and recharge. Unfortunately, many adults don’t get the Zs they need. In fact, according to Direct Line Group, one in seven Brits gets dangerously low levels of sleep, reporting that they get less than five hours per night. Aim to get at least seven hours per night. If you have trouble drifting off, it may be time to revamp your sleeping space. Adding black-out curtains and a white noise machine can help.
Make healthy eating and exercise fun
Healthy eating doesn’t have to be a drag. The NHS offers recipes that are affordable and delicious for the whole family. They even include lunchbox ideas for the kids. You can also make healthy eating more enjoyable by making cooking something that’s fun instead of a chore. Put on some music or listen to your favorite podcast while you prepare meals. Take a similar approach to exercise: Working out with a friend can make it more fun.
Grab a coffee with a friend
Leading a healthier lifestyle doesn’t have to be complicated. Something as simple as seeing a friend for coffee can be helpful, especially for your mental health. Age UK reveals that strong social connections help to keep our brains healthy as we age and may even minimize the risk of dementia. Maximize the impact by combining healthy activities. For example, grab a friend and prepare a healthy meal or go for a walk together. Make healthy activities social.
Come up with ways to manage stress
Stress can negatively impact your mental health, increasing your risk of everything from depression to anxiety. It’s important to come up with tools to help manage it. For example, you might try a tool like meditation. Other stress management tips include establishing your priorities, reaching out to family or friends, and spending more time in nature. Simply going for a walk outdoors can make a difference.
Create a calming atmosphere at home
Your home is supposed to be your safe space. You definitely don’t want to be stressed here. If you’re at ease within your own four walls, make a change. For example, clutter is shown to be a cause of stress. Help eliminate clutter by digitizing your paperwork. To make the most of your digital document storage and save space on your hard drive, use a PDF merging tool. For example, you can put all your health paperwork into one document. This could help you get organized.
Try tech tools to support your health
A PDF merging tool is just one technology that can enhance your health. There are plenty of other technologies to help, too. For example, fitness apps can help you track your diet and exercise habits. You can also get a step counter, like a Fitbit, to track how much you’re walking. Research suggests that an active lifestyle, even if it’s just a lot of walking, has a big impact on health outcomes. Get those steps in every day, and you’ll improve your health.
Living a healthy life may seem daunting at times. However, if you break it down into small steps, it will get a lot easier. The above guide covers actionable tips that aren’t complicated to implement into everyday life, no matter how busy you are.
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I believe this is a post that is as much for me as anyone in the world. I have a bad habit of speaking more than I listen. I also have a problem with letting words spill out of my mouth before I have a chance to allow my brain to check what ramifications may befall me because of the words I speak. I have always used a saying that states, “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask me.” Part of this is because I speak with complete honesty when at all possible. This, in many cases, can hurt the feelings of those who ask my opinion. The other part is that I speak out how I feel very quickly, not worrying about those around me. This, in some cases, can be called “diarrhea of the mouth.”
Although many who know me think highly of me because of my honesty, others wish I would keep my mouth shut. In this day and age, people are offended by every little thing that they do not feel is a compliment to them. This causes me (and many like me) to use our words carefully so as not to offend others. Someone like me, who loves to talk and believes that honesty is the best policy, can cause very adverse conditions.
I was raised in a time when it was fine to speak your opinion to those who were your age or younger than you. However, when speaking with someone who is your senior, you must only give your opinion when asked for it. For the most part, this worked well in the ’70s, ’80s, and even the first part of the ’90s. However, this way started to fall apart in the mid-’90s up to this day. What changed? The changes began when people stopped teaching their children to listen to their elders. Instead, they are now taught to speak up when they feel like it, no matter what their age is. This has its good parts as well as its bad parts. First off, it does give each individual a voice in society. This is considered a good thing. The second part is where the problem lies. When we no longer teach our children to hold their tongues when speaking with an adult, we have the respect taken out of society, and we create a world where anything and everything offends someone. So, even though we were not living in a perfect society during the time that I grew up, I can say that we used more respect and were less offended than those people being raised today.
I am now in my fifties and find myself gaining ground on the older generation. I also find myself in a society that no longer believes in the teachings that I grew up with. Although I try to speak the truth, few wish to listen, and of those few, half become offended by what I have to say. So, how shall I speak without offending others around me? This is something that I have pondered over for a long time now. I believe there are two ways to solve this dilemma, and I shall try to explain each in the following paragraphs.
It is wise to listen twice as much as to talk. Twice may also grow to three, four, or many more times depending upon the situation and people with whom you are associating at any given time. Although this may sound crazy to most people in today’s world, it works quite well. Those who speak as much as or more than they listen miss out on many valuable lessons in life. When you are speaking, it is very hard to listen. Furthermore, those who speak too much tend to ramble and lose any authority they may have gained. There is a time to speak and a time to listen. The time to listen must outweigh the time to speak by no less a margin than 2:1. This is a wise way to live.
With the last paragraph being in complete truth, it does cause a problem for people like me. I love to talk and find myself rambling after a while. I don’t take the time to think before I speak. For the most part, this works well for me. However, during a heated discussion, my words do not come out as I wish them to (I start rambling). Now I find that all the information and truths that I wish to share have become no more than a garbled mess of words that make up a bunch of nonsense. This has caused me grief in many instances. I must find a way to put forth what I wish to say in a way that others can understand and respect.
It took me more years than I wish to admit to come up with a way to fix this problem I have. Then, two years ago, it hit me in a way I had never thought of. I found that when I write, I get very quiet and allow my mind to work out how to put forth the words I wish to use. Not only did it help me get my point across on any given subject, but I could go back and fix any wording mistakes before someone could read what I had written. My voice became my printed word, no longer just a bunch of hot air! I don’t have to take back what I said to spare someone’s feelings because I can fix it before it goes out to the public. I can now read my thoughts and decide whether to allow someone else to read them. This works very well for me.
If you were to meet me and have a spoken conversation with me, you would find a different person than the writer you see before you. I am the same, and yet I am two different people all rolled into one. Although both sides of me think the same, have the same beliefs, and are honest about them, one is well-written while the other can be overpowering with words.
The adage says, “If only I knew then what I know now.” There is a lot of truth in this, and as we get older, we all find this to be true. I hope that if one day we speak face-to-face, you will remember me more by my writing than by my spoken words. There are many ways to speak without using your voice box or that big hole in your face. Sometimes, silence can be the loudest!
I hope that in some way I have helped those like me find ways to express themselves by listening more than speaking. If speaking is your main issue (as it is mine), may you find different ways to use speech other than having diarrhea of the mouth? Take care, my friends. Remember, we are all in this together.
Without the ups and downs in life, we would become stagnant. Are you staying in one place in life? Do you think you can’t do anything other than what you are doing at this point in time? Have you decided you have no other choice than what you see right now? Are you sitting around with your thumb up your bum, figuring this is as good as it is ever going to get? Let’s look at the dictionary term for the word “stagnant” and see what it says.
It doesn’t seem like a term that I want to be involved with; how about you? As seen above, this would be directed to many of us and, in some cases, society itself. Do we wish to fulfill this term within ourselves or society as a whole? I believe the answer to this question should be a resounding No!
How about being a phony? Does this fall into being stagnant? In a way, it does. If you are spending all your time trying to be someone else, then you are stagnant because you aren’t showing who you are. You are helping the one you are imitating avoid stagnation, but you as an individual are going nowhere! You have lost who you are and are now someone else. What happens to your identity, your ideas, and you as a special, one-of-a-kind person? Since you are the phony version of someone else, you are living a stagnant existence.
Let’s look at the term “phony” and see what that says.
(informal) A person who assumes an identity or quality other than their own.He claims to be a doctor, but he’s nothing but a fast-talking phony.
(informal) A person who professes beliefs or opinions that they do not hold.Synonyms: faker, dissembler, pretender, fake, Thesaurus:deceiverHe’s such a phony, he doesn’t believe half of what he says.
We should have fresh ideas and show our individualism to those around us. In other words, be yourself and stop trying to be like someone else. You are special in your own unique way. There is only one of you, and you are it! Be proud of your uniqueness, and be proud to show it to others around you. Just because someone has become famous or has a large following doesn’t mean it will work for you. In all actuality, it probably won’t work! If you act like someone else, you are a clone or counterfeit of the one you are trying to be!
Famous people have found their unique ways and used them to their benefit. Those who imitate or impersonate famous ones are just that, “imitators or impersonators.” Will those who imitate others become famous themselves? The answer is “very few.” The ones who do make a name for themselves by imitating others only become famous if they can imitate a multitude of different famous people. And most will only know those people by who they imitate. They are no longer an individual with their own voice, but just a caricature of others. The ones who don’t become famous (and, as I said, there are many of them) may end up as Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas, and that’s about as far as they go. If you want to believe it or not, Elvis died a long time ago, and he was the only one of him who ever existed or will exist in the future. I must say, there is nothing wrong with being an Elvis impersonator. However, to want to be Elvis himself is to remove who you are as a person. So if people in show business find it difficult to become someone by imitating someone else, what makes us think it’s a good idea in regular society?
If we can be ourselves and be proud of who we are, there will be others who will want to imitate us. We can then explain why they are wrong in doing so. I can guarantee one thing that is true in all our lives: If we insist on being ourselves, we will be more successful in life than if we try to be someone else. Don’t be afraid to step up and step out! Let the world meet the real you, and stop hiding in the shadows of others.
Here is a question for you to think about. Who sets the trend for which clothing is popular at any given time in history? And if that isn’t a good enough question to get my point across, then why do clothing trends come back into style some years after they have gone away? Granted, it may not be an exact replica, but the fashion does come back around at least once before it goes away for good. This can also be seen with long hair versus short hair in men and women. Somebody is setting the trends. Why not be that somebody and let the world follow you?
Who wants to be the same as everyone else? I mean, we are not robots, regardless of how society would like to see us. We are different in many ways from one another, and this makes life exciting. If we were all the same, humanity would cease to exist. We don’t want a mate who is just like ourselves. We want someone who thinks differently in at least a few ways. There is a saying, “Opposites attract.” I’m not a firm believer in this. However, I don’t believe that two people who think exactly alike would get along for very long. If we all thought the same, it would be a very bland world indeed.
So, for us not to fall into a stagnant way of life, we must be ourselves and stop trying to be someone else. We should be a new picture and not just a negative reflection of someone else’s life. Who are you? You are the only you there has ever been and will ever be. Get out of the shadow of others and shine your own light for others to see and appreciate. We were not put on this earth to be stagnant. We were put here to show the world the gifts we were blessed with. You may think that you don’t possess special gifts, and that is why you have become stagnant in life. The truth of the matter is that we all have special gifts. We just need to figure out what our gifts are.
Stand up, stand out, and be proud of who you are. Remove the mask that you are hiding behind. Decide to become you and stop trying to be someone else. It’s time for you to decide who you are and get motivated to be the best you that you can be!
Stagnant people are going nowhere, doing nothing, and only knowing who others are but not themselves. Aren’t you glad that you have decided not to live a stagnant life anymore? I am proud to meet those who want to be themselves. I don’t want to meet the imitation, counterfeit, or clone of someone else. I hope I have helped you in some small way today. Please take a couple of minutes and tell me your thoughts in the comments below. Take care, my friends, and remember, we are all in this together!
Author’s note: This post was originally two posts that I combined into one. This may be a mistake on my part. If so, I apologize for thinking around corners. However, I believe adding stagnant and phony together in one post worked out very well. I believe you will get some good information to think about. If you are having difficulty with this post, I suggest you put it aside and let things sink in a little at a time. Afterward, come back and read it again. Remember, this is my way of thinking around corners. I do hope you will let me know if something here has helped you in any way.
I suppose the hardest thing about owning a pet is knowing their lifespan is shorter than ours. We fall in love with our pets as we get to know them. On the other hand, our pets love us instantly. They put their trust in us for all their needs. We call them pets, but they become family as time goes by. Then certain pets become more than family to us; they become a part of us. In this post, I will be talking about two of my pets that have passed away recently. Murphy, my little poodle, passed away last night at the time I am writing this.
When our pets pass away, it is hard on us, and some make us believe that we can never have another because of the sadness we feel. Time moves on, and we end up with another pet that we know will probably pass on and break our hearts once again. We are not replacing our pets, but we need to fill the void our loved ones have left in our hearts. And then there are the ones who will hold that void open for the rest of our lives. These are the truly special ones who have touched us in a way we never thought could be possible by a creature that is not human. No matter how many others we have in our lifetime, these certain ones are always on our minds and part of our souls.
I am now in my fifties and have owned more pets than I can count on both hands, but only a few hold my heart and will hold it until the day I pass away. Usually, these are few and far between, but I have lost two in a very short time. My Siamese cat “Bear” was a very special friend of mine. She was very wild because we didn’t get to her until she was an older kitten. I guess you could say she was a feral cat. She would’ve been a great barn cat if I had let her be, but I felt a connection to her that I really can’t explain. I tamed her by feeding her small bits of cooked steak. We became great friends through the years. She would come if I called her and would even run to me if I rubbed my forefinger, middle finger, and thumb together. There was very little sound in this gesture, but this was how I would call her to me for the bits of steak I fed her. Bear was an extremely loving and obedient feline that probably should have been born a dog. Cats aren’t usually the ones that take well to training, but she was one of the exceptions. She passed away not too long ago and left a hole in my heart.
The pet that I just lost last night was my dog, Murphy. I say that he was my dog, but in all rights, he was my brother’s dog first, my mom’s, and finally mine. My brother was killed in a motorcycle accident years ago, and my mom took over full custody of Murphy. When my mom moved across the country, it was too much on her to take care of him. I became his owner, and he and I enjoyed many years together. He only knew one trick, and that was “Hide the face,” or so we called it. When my family and I would play with him, we would say, “Hide the face, Murphy,” and he would tuck his head down and cover his face with both paws. For the last three or four months of his life, he wouldn’t do this trick anymore, so we knew his time was getting close. I suppose it was hard to lose him because we came to be so close. The second part was because he was the last true thing I had left of my brother. So, in a way, I lost my brother all over again. This hit me harder than I ever believed it would. Murphy was well into his senior years, and it was just a matter of time. But I can’t seem to shake what that little fur ball meant to me. I miss my brother a great deal, and I know that Murphy too will be in my thoughts until it is my turn to leave this world behind.
I wrote this more for my own selfish needs. I need a way to move on from this sadness. However, if it brings some peace to you for your loss, then I’m glad that, in some small way, it did help. To all our loved ones, whether human or not, that we have lost along the way, I salute you for bringing love into this wicked world for us. We miss and still love you.
There is a poem that I, along with other pet owners, like to think about when our little friends pass away. The poem is about the Rainbow Bridge that we like to think our pets head to when they are gone from this earth. Here is the link to the poem for anyone who would like to read it. I suggest that if you own a pet that you love and have lost, click the link above and check it out. It will help with the sadness you feel.
One last thing I would like to say concerning all of our pets. Show love to your pets, as they have shown love for you. Never take for granted what may be gone far too soon. Their eyes look upon you with love and admiration. They deserve all the love you can give them. Trust me when I say, “You will never out-love your pet.” Take care, my friends, and remember, we are all in this together.
Author’s note: When I started writing my short stories, I made a promise to myself and my readers to be honest. That being said, no matter how I am feeling, I will be truthful and share my feelings with my readers. There is some of me in all of my writing, whether it is a helpful article or a fantasy story. This is the only way I can achieve a one-on-one relationship between my readers and myself. I pour some of my soul into all my stories. And so, this article may be somewhat distressing, but I feel I must once again share my true feelings with you. If I hide this part of my life, I will be breaking the promise I made in the beginning.
When did my internal light lose its luster? What quenched the fire that once burned so brightly inside of me? Is this part of growing older, or is this something else that I’m dealing with? These are a few of the questions I have had of late. These are the questions that have slowed my writing for a while now. This is not an excuse or a cry for help. These are just the questions tormenting my soul at this point in my life. I began my writing journey for self-help, and it turned into so much more. I believe that I have helped others with my written words. Now, I find that my self-care has eluded me somewhere along the way.
Am I alone in these feelings that I’m having? I would venture to say that is improbable and very unrealistic. So I find myself writing about these feelings, not only to help myself but to help others in the same boat I find myself in. Together, we can solve any problem, no matter what it entails. Alone, we will drive ourselves deeper into the rabbit hole, but together, we can climb our way out.
I am a firm believer that we must help one another get through these times of despair. You are not alone! Most importantly, we will work together to find our inner fire and bring it back to full flame. Living with this lull in life is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy, and most definitely not on those I care about. However, this is something I and many others are fighting against as I write these words.
What is the answer to feeling okay once more? Is there an answer, or do we just ride the wave until it passes back into the darkness from where it came? I have seen many things in my life, and one truth has always shown up. There is an answer to all problems! The trick is to find a solution to the problem you and I are facing. The solution may come from ourselves, a close friend, a relative, a stranger, or from God above. Where will the solution come from to the problem I am facing now? Will the solution be in a way that will help others facing this strange feeling? I can only hope that by putting this in print and publishing it, it will come from the audience I am writing this to.
I believe there comes a time in all our lives when this feeling of being lost (or discombobulated) affects us. If you have not experienced it yet, this is a blessing. However, I do suggest that you pay attention. In this way, if it happens to you, you will be more prepared to fight it out of your life. There are many ups and downs in life. It just so happens I’m running in the valley right now, along with many others around you. Once you hit the valley, it is hard to see the mountaintops because of all the clouds blocking the view. This is strange because when you are on the mountaintop, it is easier to see the valley below. I suppose it is in the perception of how we view things in a given situation.
If you are suffering from what I described above (I know it is very vague; however, I don’t know the words to describe it in a better way), I would like you to comment below and know we are together in this fight. If, on the other hand, you have a solution, please comment below so we can all use it.
Thank you for your time and patience with me. I have been writing some fiction on my other site because that is what makes sense to me at this time. I hope to get back to my old self soon so I can continue writing on this site as well. Take care, God bless you, and as always, remember, we are all in this together.
To all my followers, I wanted to write and let you know that I am well and still writing. I have been working on some fiction posts at this time. Worry not, I will be making my normal post here fairly soon. In the meantime, if you wish to read something different, go check out a post that I just published on my other site.
That post was pulled from my brain out of a memory of a house we lived in when I was a kid. Although the post is fictional, the house was haunted, and the room was real! It is a long read, over 4000 words. If you are interested, go check it and a few other posts I have at Flip side
I have a few post I am working on for this blog and will start posting them soon. I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you, and I apologize for the delay. I promise to start putting up posts for this site very soon. Thank you for sticking with me and spreading the word of “Old School Thought.” Until that time, take care and remember, we are all in this together.
Death is the hardest thing for humans to understand. Death is a process we will all go through. We enter death without knowing what happens next. Will we be with our loved ones again or in a different place when our time comes? This is the greatest question, I believe, that has ever been asked. I have my beliefs, and you have yours. Only in death will we know who was right.
As I grow older and friends and loved ones leave for the great beyond, I find loneliness slipping in. It truly becomes a greater task to find an end to the sadness and emptiness I feel. Must I continue to mourn until my dying day, or will peace find me before my time comes to an end? I’m at the age now where many of my friends are leaving this earth, and I start to wonder when my time might come. Although many die young as well as old, when we grow older, the wick of our candle grows shorter. With each passing breath, we are tempting fate. We shall die, and those who mourn us will do so as we did with so many others.
I suppose I should thank God for allowing me to get this far in life. I never believed I would see the age of thirty-three. I am now within days of my fifty-sixth birthday and am amazed that it has shown up so quickly. Where did all the years go? How is it that I still see myself in my twenties, but when I look in the mirror, those years are long past their existence? Have I fought the good fight? I believe I have. Have I spent my life wisely? This I must sadly say no to. There were so many choices, and yet I made few correct ones.
I look to the youth to find my strength to go on. I have fought to maintain my breath and know that my time too is running out. Will it be today or one of the tomorrows yet to come? This I do not know the answer to. I shall continue taking one breath at a time until the breath no longer enters my body.
I am here only by the grace of God, for on my own, I would have been dust many years ago. Many choices with many failures, but I live on while I watch better people who deserve so much more, return to the ground beneath. “Why, Lord, have I been allowed to grow older while the young with so much to give are taken away?” Where do I fit in the grand scheme of things? Am I here only to write these words or to right my wrongs? If I must right my wrongs, I shall live forever.
We all strive to leave this world on a good note, with many who will miss us and tell our tales. How can this happen when all those we know are already leaving? I mourn for those I have lost and find myself in a state of perpetual mourning. “Oh, Lord, let me have a break from this sadness. “Let me wake up to the living around me, and let the dead be few for a while.”
I write this with great sorrow in my heart as I learn of another friend being put to rest. I pray you have found the heaven you imagined, and your eternity will be one of true happiness, my friend. We followed the same God in life. May we meet once again after death. Peace be with you, “Big Jon.” You will be missed.
We must be allowed to mourn the passing of our loved ones. This does nothing for the dead but allows healing for the living. Our hearts break, and the repair is a long journey. Do not hold in what must be let out. Without wailing, our hearts cannot heal. Release the hurt and allow the healing to begin. May God be with you and yours. Remember, we are all in this together.
Insomnia can be one of the hardest things in life to deal with. We, as humans, require a certain amount of sleep to be able to function during our wakeful hours. Without the proper amount of sleep, our bodies and brains have a hard time keeping up with what is needed to accomplish anything at all. This includes simple things like having a conversation or comprehending directions without being told twice. To those who have never experienced insomnia, this may sound like a funny story. However, for those who know the woes of insomnia, this is no laughing matter.
Most people have had insomnia at least once in their lifetime and understand how this affects them the following day. For those who have had it a time or two, think of those who live with it constantly. It is understandable that these people are more irritable and sometimes downright mean to the others, who enjoy their eight good hours of sleep. I say eight hours just because that is a rule of thumb. Different people require different amounts of sleep. Some may do fine with four hours, while someone else may require twelve to be at their peak performance. While the majority of people enjoy their four, eight, or twelve hours of restoration, the insomniac would do anything for one or two hours of restful, uninterrupted sleep.
The insomniac will try anything to get some form of sleep, including taking sleeping medications. The problem with this is that the medications also create other problems, like headaches and drowsiness, which affect us in our wakeful hours. So, all in all, they still have a problem being at their best when they are awake. So, the solution to using medications is really no solution at all. The person taking these over-the-counter medicines is not much better off than not sleeping as much as needed in the first place! If you don’t get enough sleep, you will feel like crap, be irritable, and not be able to perform at a high level in anything. On the other hand, if you take the over-the-counter medications and get some sleep, you will find the effects of headaches, be irritable, and not be able to perform at your best. Are you seeing the problem here? With or without the pills, peak performance cannot be achieved.
Now, let me explain that I am not a doctor of any sort. (Well, maybe a doctor of self philosophy, ha ha). But I have no degree in what causes insomnia. The only thing on which I am basing the information I am presenting is that, well, I am an insomniac. I live with this affliction almost every day. The few days a month that I get a restful night of sleep (usually once a day out of fourteen) are because my body almost shuts down on me. I become so tired that I can literally fall asleep standing up! I have tried many things to cure my sleeplessness, but to no avail. The one thing I have found is that if I use these over-the-counter drugs, it makes things worse. Yes, I can sleep, but I sleep very restlessly with nightmares and wake up feeling like crap.
I will add here that insomnia is caused by many different things. Veterans (like myself) are more prone to insomnia than those who have never served. I thought on this and found why I personally believe this to be true. Veterans are trained to always be thinking ahead to the next task that must be completed. We were taught to always be ready at any given time for any situation. Our brains must always be tuned into the coming situation, whether we know what’s coming or not. I was a firefighter in the US Navy, and even in my deepest sleep at the time of service, I could be awake and fully functioning in a matter of seconds to do the job I was trained for. This works very well in the military because you have others in the same situation as you, and we lean on each other for help if needed. The problem comes when the airman, sailor, or soldier becomes a civilian, and his or her needs change. No longer do you have the support of many men and women around you, and the need to be ready in a matter of seconds is no longer a part of your life. However, the training to always be thinking ahead is so deeply instilled in the veteran that he or she has a tremendous difficulty getting that part of their brain transformed back to civilian life. To a civilian who hasn’t served, this sounds ridiculous. However, to a veteran, this makes complete sense.
So, how do we get past these sleepless nights? This is a question I wish I knew the answer to. If you know, please inform me. I sure could use that information. The best way that I, personally, have found help through meditation. The times that I can focus on something particular, like a tree or a certain model of a car (mine is the 1969 Ford Mach 1), it helps. I have to put all other things aside. I cannot think of bills, things that need to be fixed around the house, or even family (both good and bad). Once I achieve this task, which seems simple but really isn’t, I can fall asleep. The question then is, “Can I stay asleep and keep the nightmares away?” This I still have not mastered, and so about once every fourteen days, I will fall into a deep sleep and stay that way for anywhere from twelve to sixteen hours. After this time, I feel great for one day, and then it’s back to thirteen more grueling days of insomnia. However, every once in a great while, I will achieve that inner peace and be able to focus on my dream car or that big tree and fall into a relaxing sleep.
For those who deal with insomnia, my heart goes out to you. I wish you the best of luck in breaking whatever pattern is causing your affliction. Hopefully, one day, we will all enjoy night after night of restful sleep. Until next time, have a good night, and remember, we are all in this together.
I remember a time, many years ago, when the movies hitting the big screen were all new and exciting. I want to say it was in the 1980s and before. Every movie was something that hadn’t been seen before. We could go on a date and watch something fresh that would take us to new worlds and adventures. What happened to those times? Why is it that all, or at least most, of the movies that come out now are remakes of something that has already been done? Is it time for a new invention to come our way for our entertainment, or just time for the movie people to once again use their imagination?
It’s nice that the writers of novels still have imagination and write fresh things for us to fall in love with, and that takes us into new worlds. Maybe it’s time for people who are dumping money into Hollywood to start reading more and discovering new books to turn into movies? Why must we see remakes of movies and stories destroyed by throwing in new actors to replace those we fell in love with in the first place? Have we come so far into the future that thought no longer exists? Maybe the thought is there, but laziness has taken over. I myself would love to see something fresh hit the big screen! I want to look forward to buying that ticket and having no problem spending the outrageous amount of money on popcorn and a soda. As of the last multiple years, I, like many others, no longer have that desire whatsoever. We can wait until it shows up on our television screens and be completely happy. We didn’t waste our money at the movie theater to see something that was completely disappointing.
It is sad to say that the sitcoms have more imagination than the big screen box office hits. When are you going to wow us with the likes of Star Wars or Indiana Jones? Are the good times really over? Have we come to the end of an era, or have you decided that your audience doesn’t deserve the best? It is true: once every five or ten years, you throw us a bone of a good movie. Of course, these movies are usually continuations of movies from our past. Why is it that novelists can lead us into new worlds of imagination, but big screenwriters use little to no imagination? They are all writers, correct?
I challenge the movie writers to once again wow us and bring back the long lines waiting to see what you have created. Bring back the time when the people leaving the theater could talk of nothing else but the movie you had put together. Bring back a time when people wanted to see your movies three, five, or ten times while they were still on the big screen. Bring back a time when a date at the movies was a time when the movie was actually watched! Bring back a time when teenagers decided what to do on a Saturday night and put seeing your movie at the top of their list.
Are the good times at the movies really over? Has imagination left the screen? Are we to look at having a date with reading a book instead of watching the cinema hits? Has the time come when watching people at a department store is more fun than going to the movies? Bring some imagination back to the screen and give us a reason to spend money to see your creative juices at work! I know you can do it! All it takes is some imagination and the desire to. Remember, we are living, breathing, and learning creatures. We are not mind-numbed robots. We want your best, not the recall of something from our past.
Go ahead, screenwriters, and show us what you can really do. Go ahead, movie executives, and let your writers have some freedom to give us that great story we can sink our teeth into. Bring back the wow factor and watch going to the movies once again become the thing to do on a Saturday night.
This post is purely my opinion, but I believe many will agree with me. We need more imagination on the big screen to give us a reason to spend three hours sitting in a cramped seat next to someone we don’t know, listening to them slurp their soda and munch that popcorn.
I welcome all feedback on this post, whether good or bad. Keep your comments clean, and they will be approved. Thanks for reading and sharing this post. Remember, we are all in this together.
We all have feelings. This is what we are born with, and we separate them farther from one another as we get older. Using these emotions to the fullness of their power is what shows how humans are different from other creatures on earth. Below, you will see a list of human emotions. I ask that you read each word and decide what these words mean to you. I also want you to notice that love is at the top and fear is at the bottom of the list.
Definition of Fear is:
(countable) A phobia, a sense of fear induced by something or someone.Not everybody has the same fears. I have a fear of ants.
(uncountable) A strong, uncontrollable, unpleasant emotion or feeling caused by actual or perceived danger or threat. He was struck by fear on seeing the snake.
Love is the most positive emotion we have, while fear is the most negative. All other emotions may be placed in a different order than seen here. This is just the way I lined them up from positive to negative in my thought process. If you wish to move the emotions in the list the way you feel they should fall, I suggest you do so. Furthermore, I maintain that “love” and “fear” remain in the positions I have assigned them. You may disagree with the statement that fear is the furthest from love, but that is because we have been describing this emotion incorrectly for many years. Fear is very powerful and not to be used lightly. When someone jumps out and scares you, this may be “surprise” or cause “anxiety,” but not true fear. One could even use annoyance, frustration, confusion, and many other emotions, but not necessarily “fear.”
There are many that can be mixed with each other to form a hybrid of emotions. For example, we can take surprise and embarrassment and put them together to form a hybrid of what a certain situation may call for.
Many of the emotions listed above fall into the positive realm, like affection and gratitude. Others land in the negative realm, like fear and envy. Some may even teeter between the two realms, like surprise and pride. Although these last two can clearly be put on one side or the other, there are times when they may lean to the other side, given the right circumstance. Furthermore, they may be used in one realm while being misinterpreted by others or landing on the opposite side from what was meant. A great example is when a woman cries (in happiness or sadness).
Looking again at our list above, choose which of these words holds the most power. I would venture to guess that “love” is the response of more than 98 percent of those reading this post. I will not argue the point that “love” is a very powerful emotion. This is an emotion that is hard to explain but is very powerful when one experiences it. This is the emotion we all wish to have in our lives, and for good reason. The old adage, “Love makes the world go round,” holds a lot of truth to it. Besides, who doesn’t want love in their lives?
So, if love is the most powerful emotion, then we see the positive side as the powerful side. However, with the positive, there are also negatives. This is the side I wish to talk about today. Although the positive makes us feel all warm and fuzzy, we must also be aware of the negative. The negative can and will destroy all that we wish to experience in life. We look for love, but we dismiss what may keep us from achieving it. Take another look at the list above and see which word stands out other than love. Did you find it? Many of you may want to choose the opposite of love and choose fear. This would be a great choice, but not what I am aiming for.
Anger blackens one’s soul!
Anger that is not released will do more destruction to your body than you will ever know. Anger that is not released will continue to build and consume whoever holds it close! Do you have true anger, or is it annoyance or maybe frustration? This is a question you must ask yourself. Anger is a black hole that will continue to consume you until all other emotions are devoured within its impenetrable shield! Anger is very dangerous to play with. Do we get angry once in a while? Of course we do. This is human nature. What is not in our nature is to hold onto anger and feed it until it consumes us. Let it go! Release the anger before it becomes the cancer it can become. Replace your anger with forgiveness and allow your innermost core to heal itself.
One thing you may consider is that it is easy to stay angry and build a life around it. It takes a stronger person to use his or her strength to release the anger and allow your insides some much-needed rest. When we are angry, our whole body, inside and out, is tensed up. This can cause harm to the body over time. not to mention the psychological pressure we are putting on ourselves. Think of how you feel when you are angry and the difference you feel when you practice forgiveness. Your body and mind will show you the difference. Do you want to feel the stress of anger, or would you rather feel the relief of peace? You can’t have both at the same time. Anger and rest are not compatible and can’t coexist. You must choose!
You may take my advice on anger or kick it to the curb. This is completely up to you. However, from one soul to another, I have lived with and without holding anger. I can honestly say that living without it is a better and healthier way to live. Take care, my friends, and remember, we are all in this together.
I die a little to let the old go away, and I live a little for the new beginning coming my way.
“When we are born, we are already heading towards death.” To think in this way, life can be a horrible thing, unless we look towards what happens once we die. Each individual has their own beliefs about what happens when we cease to exist here on earth. Some would believe there is a great place called Heaven. Others believe we come back as other people or life forms. There are people who believe we go to the planet of the aliens that made us. There are even those who believe there is nothing after death. I’m sure there are many other beliefs that are not coming to mind right now, but for this post, I will be talking about those I have mentioned.
Before I get into these different beliefs about what happens to us once we die, I believe we must first ask ourselves how we came to be. There are many different beliefs in this aspect as well. Some believe we started as an amoeba and worked our way up to monkeys, from which the lucky ones were able to evolve into humans. I suppose the monkeys left behind weren’t quite ready to evolve when others were. I question this belief due to the fact of where did the amoeba come from. Others believe we were planted by aliens from a far-off planet, and we are more like a science experiment. I also question this, due to the fact that I don’t know where these aliens come from and who created them. There are those who believe in multiple gods, and yet others who believe in one. The problem we have as humans is that we think we know or must know everything. We believe there must be a beginning and an end, or do we believe in an end? As I stated above, the only ones who believe in an end are those who believe our deaths are the end, while others believe there is something after. So who is right, and who is wrong? The only way we will find this is after death, or is it?
Those who believe there is nothing after death are those I want to talk about first. Fear not, I am not here to tell you if I think you are right or wrong. I just have a hard time believing that this is it. All the hard work through life with no reward for it I think everything that humans do has a purpose, and I think it’s sad to believe that we really don’t after all. What is the purpose of life? Why are we here in the first place? If death is the ultimate end, isn’t life just a cruel joke? I’m sorry, my friends; I can’t buy into this one. I think it would make me empty inside to believe this is all there is. What am I working for if not to become the dirt beneath my feet? I think it would make me just want to go through life with no hope. Humans without hope are sad people, indeed. I think I will stay clear of the nothing theory.
When it comes to the aliens planting us, this is a little intriguing. However, I just can’t wrap my head around this one. Is there life on other planets? Possibly. I would think if we were from aliens, we would be contacted directly by them and not just flown by every now and then. I guess it’s kind of like having a pet. Would you put your pet somewhere and never have contact with it or want to play with it? Besides, I don’t like to think of myself as a pet in the first place. So, sorry, I just can’t imagine this is where we came from.
Is there such a thing as reincarnation? And, if there is, do we get to choose what form we come back as? If I had a choice and I wanted to come back as my dog, what if my dog was my great-uncle Albert from a life before? Do I displace him, or am I given a second choice? How many deaths would it take to finish using up all life forms? Furthermore, who is giving me this choice or making the choice for me? This one sounds interesting; however, too many moving parts could cause many collisions. I mean, if five hundred people wanted to come back to the same spot, who makes the decision of who gets first choice? Furthermore, does the cycle end, or do we have to keep coming back time and time again? I think I will leave this one alone for others to figure out the logistics for.
So how about the multiple gods? Well, the first thing I would want to know is, “Who is the Supreme One?” And, if there is one Supreme over the others, wouldn’t this mean he/she/it was actually the one and the others were just wannabes? That would mean the other gods couldn’t be gods at all. What would they be, mini gods? This just doesn’t fly in my judgment. It seems like a lot of thought had to go into this one. Too complicated for my thinking. It makes my brain hurt just trying to figure out who to follow with this theory. Sorry, but one is enough for me.
So we came from monkeys, huh? This is the belief of those who follow evolution. I don’t know about you, but this one is difficult as well. I have gone to the zoo and seen these creatures, and even though I have seen a few people that had the big ears and hairy backs, I have to question it. If we evolved from monkeys, what kept the others from evolving with us? Why haven’t we seen any change in the monkeys at the zoo? Why are we keeping our ancestors locked up in the first place? Why is there very little difference from one monkey to the next? Wouldn’t you think, if this were true, there would be some that maybe evolved half way between monkey and human? This seems like too difficult a solution for me as well.
What caused the big bang, and did it come from nothingness? Were there a billion big bangs to create the multi-universes, or were rocks just thrown here and there throughout space? And if the big bang started everything, then why do we have all the life here on earth, while the moon is void of such things? Furthermore, who created the mass to cause the big bang in the first place? An awful lot of thought went into this one. Sorry, I just can’t swallow it.
So we’ve come down to one Almighty who created everything, and when we die, we go on to live with him, depending on how you believe, of course. Well, this solves a couple of the problems. For one, there is a creator who covers all, including the planets, stars, moons, and life. One being created all; that somewhat sews things up. This would explain how everything started, not just us. It does sound better, but there are still questions that must be asked. Things like, “Whose god is the true God?” I mean, different sets of people believe they have the right one and everyone else is wrong. I guess I’d choose mine, because it’s nice to know that I was made in God’s image. Some gods have gone on to die and will never be seen or heard from again. These gods want to leave the rest of the story up to the humans, his creation. That doesn’t seem right. I mean, he’s God; how could we go on if he didn’t take care of us? The Christian God has a son who died and came back to life for the sole purpose of taking care of us. Well, I guess if he were God, he wouldn’t stay dead, right? If he created all of this, he would have to be very powerful. This God and the story of creation seem to be the simplest solutions to our problems, and it’s nice to think that life doesn’t end after death; it just changes. This makes me feel better about how things came to be. And these Christians seem to love and want peace. That sounds like a good thing. I think I like this explanation; it seems to cover all the bases without the stumbling blocks. I think this is the one I will seek out and follow.
We all have our own beliefs about how things came to be. Not all beliefs can be correct, and nobody will know for sure until their time comes to meet the one who created them. I challenge you to look deep into your beliefs and pick the one who shows true love for his creation. If you feel that you have found the truth without a doubt in your heart, you have definitely found the truth. If you have doubts, maybe you have been living a fantasy. We don’t have to know everything about creation, but we shouldn’t have any doubts about who we are following.
I completely understand how some may cheer what I have written while others will hate that I ever put pen to paper. Either way is fine with me because I believe in “free will” as well. I believe God gave us a brain for a reason other than keeping our heads from collapsing. Don’t be afraid to question your existence. Some will get it right, while many others will be wrong, and we will all know who in due time. Take care, my friends. I shall write again soon.
Brothers and Sisters, Brothers and Brothers, or Sisters and Sisters, close enough in teenage years, and let the wars begin. Who is right or who is wrong does not matter. The casualties of these wars are parents. Early gray hair and shaking hands are what parents have to look forward to. Oh, the joys of having children! And, Lord help me; I would not give my children up for the world.
It always looks like a good idea, at the time, to have our children close in age. This way, your child will have a playmate to grow up with. Right? We also see it as a good idea to have our children at an earlier age, so we will not be quite as up in age when they are out of the house on their own. We realize that our parents give us advice, but they are old and probably do not know anything about how things are done in this day and age. (I see a lot of head nodding and hear a lot of laughter from the older folks out there, right now).
Let us say you have two children in your early twenties that are eighteen months apart. You have set yourself up to have them raised and on their own by the time you hit your mid-forties. You and your spouse can enjoy your later years before entering the retirement age. Well, it may seem to be a smart plan, but it is not necessarily a good idea at all. You and your spouse have not had the time yet to mature as much as you need to be parents. This is not meant to be a slam on you, but there is a lot of truth to it. If you wait until you both are in your thirties to have children, there is a better chance that you will be better prepared for what is about to happen in your lives.
Children turn your lives upside down in ways that are never expected, and are different with every set of parents. The unexpected becomes your norm! If you believe that you know what it is like to have kids, and you do not have any yet, lord help you. You are about to be educated in ways you could never dream of. You think school was hard to get through; welcome to true schooling! The adventures you will go through with these brighteyed little ones are a joy, but also a wake-up call to even the strongest, most levelheaded parents alive.
Reading parent guide books can give you simple solutions to try with your children. You will not find solutions to all the problems you will face as a parent in these books. There will be times when you will have to come up with solutions for your child’s life on your own. You will face problems that have never been written by any author of any book. At times children will send you into the Twilight Zone, pushing every one of your buttons. You are being tested by the best! These angels will at some point become the little monsters you have seen in other children. How about that child yelling at the top of his lungs in the store because he did not get a toy? You will at times, hear people murmur, “They need to teach their children better”. Could you be this parent talked about one day? If you are mentally able enough to handle this once in a while, you are well on your way to having well-behaved children. If you let your little darlings run over you one time, you are in for a long road. This road will lead you into a disaster zone called “The Ultimate Teenager“!
All teenagers are, to put it nicely, a nightmare! If you think your children will be the same lovable creatures when they hit the “Teenage Zone” as they are; now, you are in for the ride of a lifetime! You will swear this cannot be your child. Parents that believe it is easier to raise children close in age will be hit with the double feature of nightmares.
As a parent, you will learn how mentally stable you are. Children will take you to the edge of your sanity and then push harder. This is all in the growing phase for the child as well as the parents. I have heard said, You pay for your sins with your children. This is a distressing reference, but it does hold some truth. You will start to understand the pain your parents went through with you. You will appreciate your parents more. This is the circle of life.
You are a legal adult by age, but you become a grown-up when your first child arrives. You believe you can do a better job than your parents did. This in some cases is true, but for most of us, it is a wake-up call about the wonderful job our parents did to raise us.
How can a grandparent enjoy a child more than the parents? Now, I am a grandparent, and it is becoming clearer to me why this is. I am now going to lay this secret out for you. Grandparents enjoy their grandchildren because once the visit is over, the children go back home! Grandparents are on cloud nine watching as their own children go through child raising struggles. Your parents tried to teach you. Well, now it is your turn! You will find yourself acting the same as your parents did with you. You will finally know the nightmare you put them through.
You will start looking forward to the day that you and your spouse can have your home all to yourselves. Your parents will ask you, “Do you remember when we told you to wait to have children and not rush into it?” They will laugh when you answer, “No.” They will always be there for you, as you will be with your children. However, the advice for you will only come when you ask for it. No longer are your parents bound to raise you. They tried their best with you, and now get to sit back and watch how their teachings took hold. Yes, your parents made mistakes, and yes, you will too!
Parents have the hardest job known to the human race! We do not understand this until we become parents ourselves. You may look at the way other parents raise their children and try to follow them. This will help in some ways to give you a starting point. However, children need unique teaching designs set for their understanding. Parents with multiple children understand this. Although you love each child with the fullness of your heart, you will find your love different for each of them. This is the awesome thing about love, it can expand in as many ways as is needed. If you do not think so, just talk to parents who have four, five, six kids or more. They will tell you they love all their children, but in different ways for each one. Because of this, I believe the definition of love should be a bunch of question marks expanding into the unknown.
Children are a blessing from the good Lord above. Children may bring you closer to God as you cry out for his help. Be patient with your children and allow them to go through the different phases of life. This will help your offspring to become well-rounded adults. Disciplining your children is showing the love you have for them to grow up to be the good people they can be. Allowing your children to “run the show” is telling them you do not care how they turn out in life. A respectful adult comes from the years of love and training given by their parents. There is no magic formula for raising your children, but you must do the best you can for them, as your parents did for you.
Children are hard to raise. They, at times, will have you wondering if there is a grand solution to raising children. The only thing I can tell you is, do not rush into having them, and love them no matter how crazy things may seem. I hope in some way this helps. If you are a teenager reading this, try to take it easy on your parents. They are doing their best for you. Take care, my friends, and do not forget to follow me. Remember, we are all in this together.
Depending on what you are willing to put up with, will determine where you want to live and call your home.
As I write this, I am thinking of the different states within the United States of America as those I will be discussing. However, this post can be used anywhere in the world. We all have our breaking points, which will move us from one place to another.
I currently live in Arizona, which has its beautiful along with its dangers. When someone thinks of this state, the first thing that comes to mind is heat. However, if you were to travel in northern Arizona, such as Flagstaff, in the winter months, you may be surprised by the massive amounts of snow you’d encounter. I, myself, reside in the middle of this great state and see cool winters, but still very high temperatures in summer. There are also many other dangers, these come in forms of rattlesnakes, scorpions, Gila monsters, and many other poisonous things. Cacti are also very troublesome to put up with. Speaking of cacti, this is the only place in the world where the giant saguaros live. So if you are willing to put up with the various dangers here, you will be given beautiful landscapes, awesome lightning shows, and of course, sunshine with clear skies most of the year.
Another place I have lived is in the Midwest, in the state of Missouri, where I spent many years of my youth. This is a beautiful state, full of farm land, lakes, rivers and woods. Here, you will have wonderful fishing and hunting opportunities. You can easily live off the land since water is abundant, and growing your own food in the fertile land is fairly easy. Raising your own livestock is also a plus, with the grasslands for your cattle and other farm animals is easily found. The downside to this great countryside comes in the form of high humidity in the summer and hard freezes in the winter. It is a well known place to carry a sweater, light jacket, raincoat and heavy coat most of the wintertime. The weather can change rapidly, and being prepared is sometimes a challenge.
North Carolina is a place I lived during my time in the Navy. While it is an absolutely beautiful state, hard freezes and hurricane weather is something that may keep you from this state. Some of the friendliest people I have ever met, live here. The hunting is absolutely wonderful and fishing is great as well. The winters are fairly hard, and wet weather is an understatement. This state has very fertile land for growing whatever you wish in your garden. You can also live near the Atlantic Ocean, with some beautiful beaches to enjoy. If you are willing to deal with the harsh winters and hard rains here, you have found one of my favorite states.
Virginia is an interesting state with abundant historical American sites of the Civil War. Many other states have places to see involved with this war, but Virginia stands out in this category. This state also has many woods as well as beaches to enjoy. The weather is much like North Carolina, with fairly hard winters and hurricane weather to put up with. Furthermore, this state contains the military city of Norfolk. While other states contain military cities, this one stands out as one of the greatest. I was stationed there and can honestly say, if you are not military, you are of the few, not the many in this city.
I, personally, have been to every state of the United States, except two. These two states are Alaska and Hawaii. I would like to visit both of these states before I die. I have only lived in a few, but have traveled through many, forty-eight, to be exact. One thing I have noticed is the difference from state to state. It amazes me how much difference there can be, just by crossing an invisible line from one to the other. We can freely move from one state to the other and live as though we have always been there. The language may be the same, but accents can be extreme from one state to the other. All in all, we are Americans. We stand as one with completely different ways of life. All we have to do, is decide what weather we are willing to put up with, and in a short period of time, we can live out our dreams in the place we choose. If this place gets old to us, we just pack up and move to another state and try something completely different. We can do this as many times as we wish, as long as we live. We may have to learn a different accent, but we will be welcome.
I may be a little prejudice, but I feel that I live in the greatest country in the world. This is not because I don’t like other places, this is just because I love my country with all my heart. I have been to many countries, and enjoyed the sites, but I like it here and believe I will stay. As I mentioned from the beginning, this post speaks of what one is willing to put up with to live somewhere. I used the United States because this is where I live. However, you can use these thoughts anywhere in the world. Do you like the woods, desert, plains or beach? What kind of weather are you willing to put up with to live there? There are natural disasters everywhere in the world. Which ones do you deal with? Mother nature is e everywhere, and she will use her power, one way or another. What disaster can you handle to live where you wish? These are questions we must ask ourselves to be happy of our surroundings.
Fortunately, in this day and age, it is easy to find that perfect spot we wish to live. With the availability of the internet, we can find that special place where we wish to live and raise our families. It wasn’t many years ago that people had to travel to a place before they knew what mother nature had in store for them. So with that in mind, where is your perfect place? Have you even thought about moving, or are you content where you are? I’m curious to know, for I have yet to live in my perfect spot. I am however looking, as we speak. Furthermore, I’m very close, but these summers are getting to be too hard as I grow older and feel I need to head more north. I thank God that I live in a country where I can move to different parts of the country, without any trouble.
I hope this post has brought you to a decision of where you want to be, and what you are willing to put up with to live there. I would like to hear of the place you live, and some of the issues you face. Do you have hurricanes, tornadoes, extreme heat or cold? Maybe you have found your Utopia. My readers and I want to hear. Feel free to leave a reply, and I will answer as soon as I can. My readers will likely chime in as well. Take care, and I hope today finds you well. I look forward to discussing this post with you.
First off, before I even get into the subject the title shows, I must say a few things. I am not a physician, psychologist or a psychiatrist. I am going to simply put out some information, from my years of knowing people on both sides of this issue. If you are in an abusive situation, I urge you to seek help now! I believe that I can put a spin on things that may help you see what I have found to be a problem and a possible solution to that problem. Please do not take my word as gospel of what you are going through. Keep in mind, I am just a writer, giving my opinion. If you are in danger, get help immediately!
Let’s first look at what is considered abuse. Most people believe abuse as a physical hurting of another, usually a husband hitting his wife. This is abuse, but there is another form of abuse that most people never think about. Verbal abuse can destroy a person as fast as physical abuse, and in many ways become the worst case scenario. Verbal abuse can lead into physical abuse.
I want to first talk about physical abuse. If you are a man and are hitting your wife or children, you have a problem that needs to be taken care of immediately! You should never hit your wife, period! As far as your children, if you are spanking them, make sure you never do so out of anger. Any other type of hitting your children is an absolute wrong. I will not lean one way or the other on this issue. You are responsible for the discipline of your children. To further your education on spanking, let’s take a look at what the definition of spanking is.
an act of slapping, especially on the buttocks as a punishment for children.”you deserve a good spanking”
The key factor about spanking, is never do so when you are angry. You have to remember how much strength you have and how easily you can hurt your child. By the way, this goes for you too, ladies, never spank your child while you are angry. Spanking can be a form of discipline however, if done while in an angry state of mind constitutes abuse.
Men, Never hit a woman! Part of being a man is learning control of your body and emotions. You should have been taught that growing up, but some of you did not receive that lesson of life. Men are naturally stronger than women, especially in our upper bodies. Not only is it the wrong thing to do, it can cause great harm to whom you are hitting. Men are known for their self-control for a reason. If you lose control, make sure you are alone or with your male buddies, who can help control you. This is a huge #1 lesson for a man to learn. Don’t let your true temper show when there are women or children around. None of us really want to hurt our bride or children. Don’t allow it to happen, because being sorry later doesn’t fix anything. They may forgive you, given time, but you will never forgive yourself.
I have talked a little about Men hitting women, but ladies, I have something to tell you as well, and you’re probably not going to like it. It takes great control for a man to hold his temper to a lower level, if you ladies hit your man, you may be tempting fate. Don’t hit him and hope he doesn’t hit you back. Most of us have control to not snap, but there are those that don’t have this control, especially while drinking or under other forms of mind-altering substances. If he hits you, he is completely in the wrong, but just don’t help him get there by hitting him first. I want to add here that I have been talking about husbands and wives, this also is for boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancée, or any other couple out there. I guess the biggest difference is, if your boyfriend is beating you up, and you go ahead and marry him, you are asking for trouble. It would be bad enough to keep dating and see how many times he hurts you. Remember, if he will do it once, there’s a great chance there will be a repeat in your future.
The main issue people are not learning is, “we must respect each other“. If you are hitting one another, there is no respect, and you shouldn’t be together in the first place. Of course, there are always the instances where people change and become someone else. If this is the case, there is a reason, and it usually involves the substances, mentioned above, like alcohol. Ladies and gentlemen, if you meet your mate in a bar, the writing should be in letters ten feet tall to look deeper before you commit to a relationship.
I have discussed abusing and being abused, but how do we change what is happening? If you are the abuser, you need to move out and seek help immediately! It may be hard to leave your family, but until you get help, you need to get out before things get worse. If you love your family, get help, and there may be a chance of getting them back. If you lose them because you left, at least you will have peace in your heart that your family is safe. This would be the hard lesson #2. Remember, there is help for you, and you don’t have to do it alone. There are plenty of places willing to help you with your anger issues.
Ladies, if you are being physically abused, get your children and leave. The longer you stay, the harder it will be, and the chances of serious injury or even death for you and your children will gain in percentage, not lower. If he is out of control, it will continue to get worse until he gets the help he needs. He can apologize all he wants, but if he has let the beast out more than once, it will continue. I say more than once, I would like to say the first time, but I know that I would be talking to a brick wall. I know you women always want to believe it was a one time thing. Furthermore, I pray that you are right, but studies show this not with good odds. When he beats you or your children up the second time, will you give him a third?
It’s very scary to be in a situation where you think of being trapped or that he will find you. I feel for you, I really do, but if you don’t get out of that situation, it is only going to get worse. You know when he won’t be home. You know where you can find a police station, or a relative to get to. Don’t let yourself or your children become a statistic on the news. Especially if you have children, get them out of this situation to a safe place.
Now, most people don’t want to talk about it, but there are instances where the wife is the physical abuser. This doesn’t happen as often, but it does happen. The same goes for you gentlemen, if your wife is abusive to you, you need to get out. If your wife is abusive to your children, get them out and make sure to seek help with the nearest authorities. By authorities, I mean the police. This falls under a little different circumstance, because it is rare and people don’t want to believe the wife as the abusive one. You want to make sure to go directly to the authorities, so your wife can’t say you kidnapped your children. If you do anything else, you might be charged for kidnapping, since you are the man. I know this isn’t right, but society is what it is. Get your children to safety, this is the most important thing.
I have gone over what I believe about physical abuse. Now let’s talk a little about verbal abuse. Do you realize that verbal abuse, even though not taken care of by authorities as it should be, can actually be worse than physical abuse? First let me say that physical abuse usually consists of verbal abuse at the same time, but not mentioned very often. Verbal abuse, by itself, can be a lifelong tragedy. Someone can verbally cause their partner to commit suicide. If the verbally abused person does get out and away from their abuser, they may never be able to trust another person, ever. They can lose the ability to function in society, because they have been torn down so badly, they can no longer make decisions on their own. Verbal abuse can become a brainwashing that may never be fixed. Verbally abused people lose all self-esteem and can go into deep depression that may control the rest of their lives.
Most of the time, verbal abuse starts slow and grows from there (degrading your spouse, calling him/her hurtful names or telling him/her they are useless). It is a constant tear down of one’s mind. The abused person becomes dependent upon the one that is abusing them, and believing they themselves can’t get along without the one abusing them. Verbal abuse may later become physical abuse, but they are so beaten down by then, they start feeling they deserve the physical abuse. Do you see why I say verbal abuse can be worse than physical abuse? It is a tear down of one’s mental ability, and can be considered brainwashing. If this is done slowly enough, the person doesn’t even realize it’s happening until it’s beyond repair.
I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, however I have known people in all aspects of what I have written. I hope that you have found some comfort in and possibly even some helpful advice. If you are in an abusive situation, whether you are the abused person or the one being abusive, there are those of us who care and want you to get help. Take care and remember, God loves you, and we love you too. Don’t give up who you are! Take care my friends, I wholeheartedly believe in you, and believe you can make, and have a better life.
Here is a guest post by a wonderful writer. I have had her on C.S.I before, with a great response. I asked her back because of the feedback from my readers. She has a way to bring thoughts to the surface, and explains how to cope with our ever-changing lives. Please welcome my guest and one of your new favorite bloggers, “Julia Mitchell“.
The mid-life crisis is a misunderstood phenomenon, but the severe impact on well-being remains absolute. A change in mood, lower levels of satisfaction, or worries about how others see you are a few signs. It affects everyone differently, so how do you win? Fortunately, Common Sense Interaction wants you to know that you have more choices than you believe.
Make a Career Change
Changing careers or starting your own business can be an inspiring goal. Compare your interests to the fastest-growing markets, then decide if you want to start a new full or part-time business. Regardless of your business type, creating the right business entity can better protect your personal assets in case of claims involving liability. Corporations and LLCs are two options, with the latter being much more flexible. LLC formation involves less paperwork and more flexibility while maintaining tax advantages. Complete the paperwork yourself, or use a formation service to avoid lawyer’s fees, but check your state’s regulations regarding LLCs before moving forward.
Focus on Your Mindset
Your thoughts determine the actions you take. Choosing to remain in the moment helps you see your choices now instead of worrying about the past or future. Start practicing meditation or gratitude to increase your mental resilience and boost your ability to think positively. Taking one or more deep breaths can also have a profound effect on your mood.
Find Mental Health Support
It’s important to seek help if you’re emotionally overwhelmed. Thanks to the advantages of technology, many mental health services and a wealth of providers are online. Virtual therapists may offer free consultations, ensuring you find the right fit. With online therapy, you can choose from a variety of licensed professionals. Additional benefits include:
Reduced travel time and expense. Sessions are virtual and often cost less than in-person visits. Your health insurance may cover online therapy.
Secure and private. Receive your counseling in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Less commitment. You can stop online therapy anytime.
Moving to an area you admire might help refresh your outlook, but the move doesn’t have to be permanent. Renting out your current home is an option in case you want to move back later. Check into the types of expenses you could incur when renting out your home, and consider the right property manager for the job. Determine how much to charge for rent by considering the home type, location, and any recent renovations. Also, think about what renters are looking for in a rental property.
With your home on the rental market, you may be on the market for a new one. While there are many loan options you should investigate, check the 30-year fixed rates today since that is the most common mortgage period. You can use the interest rates along with a mortgage calculator tool to figure out how much house you can afford, especially if you are keeping and renting out your current home.
You may also find that non-conventional loan options are an even more cost-effective solution. If you’re a veteran, for instance, a VA home loan could be your ticket to buying a new home affordably. So take the time to research VA loan requirements, rates, and more to see if you qualify and if this is a viable option for you.
Begin a New Hobby
Believe it or not, hobbies can be inspirational. Gardening and cooking can increase your sense of self-efficiency. Painting or crafting helps you express your creativity, while learning to play a musical instrument is known to boost your brain power. Whether you need products to support a new hobby or are just shopping for stuff to enhance your home, take the extra step of researching to ensure that you’re buying smart. There’s no dearth of online resources with impartial reviews from fellow users and shoppers. Whether you plan to take up jogging with your littles in tow or explore Mother Nature through some hiking adventures, there is no lack of options available on the internet.
You can also expand your mind by taking online classes or learning a new language. Or begin reading short stories from Common Sense Interaction that challenge common perceptions. Additionally, these skills can add oomph to your résumé. Reading, dancing, and getting a new pet are other options that can empower you.
Experiencing a midlife crisis doesn’t have to be permanent if you make a conscious decision to change your mindset and embrace a different way of perceiving yourself. Take this moment to find what makes you happy and pursue it, whether it’s a new degree, a hobby, or a new career. And don’t be afraid to seek professional support when you need it.
If you are one of my readers, I’m sure you have noticed that I haven’t written a post of my own for a couple of weeks. I want to apologize, and I have decided to let you know why. I did get some great guest post writers during this time to make sure that you guys had something to read and learn from. I would like to thank Laura Moseley and Julia Mitchell for their great post, especially during this time. I believe they are both outstanding writers and feel you should go to their websites and see what else they have to offer. I hope to have them both back very soon.
Some of you know that I suffer nerve damage from an accident I had while working in a copper mine in Arizona. This is not an excuse for not writing, however, it has something to do with my absence. Just about everybody understands what nerve damage can do and the pain that goes with it. Things such as burning, losing control of extremities, itching, tightness and swelling to name a few. What those that have never experienced nerve damage don’t understand is the anxiety, depression and anger that come along as though the pain alone isn’t enough.
My anxiety has been through the roof, as of late, but that I handle with medication. The problem that has sidelined me has been pure anger. How can I write an uplifting post for my readers if I can’t even uplift myself? You may ask yourself why the anger? This I will try to explain the best that I can. Those of you in this position understand, but may not be able to find a way out of it. Although, I myself have been having great struggles with anger as of late, I have also been able to finally curtail it, but it has not been easy.
I have always been a person who jumps to get done whatever it is to be done in the safest, yet fastest way possible. I may complain and use some choice words during this time, but I was always working to finish the job, even while using the childish “complain phase”. Furthermore, I’ve done jobs that I hated, but I still got the job done. After becoming disabled, my whole world got turned upside down. All of a sudden, I can no longer jump right in and get the job done. No longer can I do what I want and speed through any situation. I now have to slow down and not do the things I used to be able to do, without major struggles. This alone makes me angry. And yet there is so much more to it.
Some things that I go through, have no explanations, and I will not try to explain to you what I can’t even explain to myself. The focus of this is to explain what I do know. I know that when I lose control of my hand and drop or crush a can of soda, anger is quick to come. I know that when I fall down in front of someone, without an obstacle causing it, first comes embarrassment, but anger is not far behind. The falls I keep to a minimum using a cane, yet even the stick fails me now and then.
So, throughout all my rambling and complaining, am I looking for sympathy? No, I am not! I am getting angry just admitting some of the things that make me angry. Crazy, huh? The only reason I decided to write this is to help others, in the same situation, to know there are others of us, and we need to be open about it and stop allowing the anger to get the best of us. Holding the anger in just multiplies it, however, we don’t want it to come out on others around us. I have found going to be by myself is the best I can do.
There are things like mindfulness that help in these situations, but I have found, I still must be alone for it to work. So alone time is the way to go in my opinion. The only thing to keep in mind, is don’t allow negative thoughts come in while relieving myself of anger. This is what I have been going through as of late. I believe I now have it under control, for the meantime. I am generally a kind person and when the anger hits, it is a shock to my system.
Most people that read this post will have no real idea of what I’m explaining. I would like to tell those people, there are people you know that are dealing with this and if they say to give them some space, time or to leave them alone, please give them this time to refocus. There is very little you can say to help other than you are there for them when needed.
Once again, I want to apologize to my readers for my absence. I will try to get back to my normal writing soon. I also am in the mist of creating a second website, where I have been writing short stories in various genres and will attach it to this website for those that have an interest, once it goes live. Furthermore, I want to thank you for sticking with me during this time, and I hope to bring more followers on board to help C.S.I grow. Take care, my friends, and remember, we are all in this together.
My guest today is Laura Moseley from The DV Walking Wounded. Thank you, Laura, for sharing something that is so important for others to see! I commend you for your strength and for teaching other women, all is not lost. Laura is a survivor, and you can be too!
“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”
I learned about forgiveness early on, as a young child. My father always told me, “Those who anger you, own you.” That was the way that he instructed me to not let others dictate my behavior, which opened the door to forgiveness of others. My family was very ingrained in our church, so I was taught to receive forgiveness, I myself had to forgive. It wasn’t until I was a married adult, did I learn the proper way to forgive and “mean it.”
I had NO idea that there was a formula to forgiveness, until recently. I always knew that there was a technique to it, but not that there was an actual formula. I am going to break down the formula, putting my spin on it. I feel like I have massive experience in the “forgiveness” department, after surviving a twenty-six-year marriage to an abusive man AND surviving and healing from sexual abuse from a former boyfriend when I was just a teenager. I have had to forgive these people, even though I’ll never receive a formal apology, to live my life. I also will not allow them to do anything else, ever again. It’s the “Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!” principle.
Step 1: Acknowledge
Acknowledge that an offense happened, one that hurt the recipient (you). Be specific. Example: “My co-worker lied to our boss about taking sole credit for our project.”
Step 2: Consider
How did that offense make you feel? Has it changed your thinking or perception? Mull over what has happened, not making any decisions under stress (either anger or sadness).
Step 3: Accept
Please accept that what has happened (the past) cannot be undone. It is done and acknowledges that it has happened — and do not alter that perception. There is NO guarantee that the other party accepts that. What-ifs are not allowed here!
Step 4: Determine
This is the step where you will “determine” whether or not you intend to forgive the other party/person. This is a pivotal point. DO NOT take this lightly. This point can also dictate the future relationship you will have with the offending party, if any.
Step 5: Repair
Repair the relationship with the person who wronged you. Before any act of forgiveness or reconciliation, rebuild the connection you used to have with this person. For instance, if someone at work has wronged you, you may not necessarily forgive them, but you can let them know that you all have to work together, and you will be professional and courteous to each other. If you say something, keep your word! In most cases, you will be the instigator of this “olive branch,” so to speak. Many people know that they have inflicted a wrong, but “freeze up” and do not try to repair, only to avoid it. Keep in mind that you are “repairing” not “restoring.” If you are going about as if nothing is wrong, that does not solve any problems, but just creates more instances for you to be wronged.
Step 6: Learn
What does the term “forgiveness” mean to you? You really need to define that at this point. To me, I acknowledge the wrong and what you plan to do (or need to do) to correct that wrong. However, I will not forget this wrong, I just will no longer acknowledge that once forgiveness is granted. I am not allowing that wrong to own my thoughts and feelings. BUT, that is my interpretation. As a child, I had an adult tell me that you cannot forgive a person if they do not ask for it. I don’t believe this to be true, now that I am an adult. I have to get to a point of forgiveness for what they did to no longer control my feelings and perceptions. That person may no longer be in your life or may have passed away. You can forgive them and move on, based on time and feelings.
Step 7: Forgive
Actively forgive the person who has wronged you. This may be silent forgiveness, doing so in your mind. However, if you have an issue with someone currently in your life, you should speak the forgiveness. Example: “I forgive you for lying to me about _______. However, this has made me not trust you. I realize that we still have to work together. I will treat you with kindness and professionalism as I always have, but I may not entirely trust you.” The verbal statement may not be met with penitence or compassion, but it is your statement to make. Doing so in a non-threatening way is the way to go. Waiting to introduce it into a conversation, when it is just you and the other party, is best. The silent version is helpful in all aspects, as it helps you to let it go and move on! You may never truly get an apology or acknowledgment that the other party wronged you!
Another point is never to bring this past transgression up if you all have a later disagreement or argument. If you have truly forgiven someone, this is not fair to what is going on in the present! You may recall the past transgression also if there is a history of disagreements or misunderstandings. This may help you to know if you need to cut off the relationship, as a negative history, but DO NOT verbally bring that up. That only adds fuel to the fire and illustrates that it was truly not forgiven. You want to be a person of your word and if you want others to forgive you, you don’t want that thrown in your face. Each transgression merits its own attention! I definitely learned this from being in a romantic/intimate relationship. No one is perfect and I don’t expect my partner to be. I know I am not perfect, so I can extend grace to them — once we talk things through, that is. Communication should be a vital part of any relationship. If it is not, the relationship is not a positive one. Understanding why the transgression happened takes time, but try not to dwell on it too much. You may never fully understand why or how, but acknowledge that you can no longer worry about it! Worrying causes stress, which can shorten our lives. And I’m going to be darned if anyone gets to own my feelings! They are no longer allowed to pay rent inside my head! I release them from that, through forgiveness. I have found life is too short for that, honestly. After everything I have been through personally, I hate no one. Hate is a strong emotion that can kill you. Plus, I do not want to stoop to my transgressors’ negative levels. I am better than that and will conduct myself as such. Not better than the person, but better than the bitterness. Love and light!
Believe it or not, a health-conscious lifestyle does not have to be expensive. In fact, you can eat well and take care of your mental health even when you’re on a tight budget. Here are some ways to live healthily and make money, courtesy of Common-Sense Interaction.
1. See a Doctor
Part of properly caring for yourself is going to the doctor for a health evaluation and talking about any current health issues. You can save on visits by scheduling an online consultation with a doctor and going over possible medications to treat your condition. Talk to the doctor about what generic medications are available at a lower cost than the brand name medicines. Then the doctor will send the prescription to your local pharmacy electronically for pick up.
2. Practice Your Favorite Self-Care Routine
Research shows that self-care enhances your overall wellness by boosting self-esteem and acknowledging self-worth. If you live a busy life, self-care can be something as simple as saying self-affirmations or making sure you have your favorite morning coffee. Occasionally, take yourself on a wellness vacation and spend some time doing the things you love the most.
3. Change Your Diet
Gut health affects your energy level and even mood. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of what food you eat. Processed foods can sometimes provide very little nutrition, leaving the body feeling tired and sluggish. A well-balanced diet will change your physical and mental health. You can save money by shopping for fruits and vegetables when they are in season and cheapest and cut back on eating out which typically means more expensive meals and larger portions.
4. Make Your Home a Place of Peace
Your home is the one place where you should get the most comfort in your life. Whether you live alone or with a big family, you can turn it into a more positive and stress-free environment. Start by cleaning and removing unwanted clutter. You can sell items you don’t need to make extra cash. Then find a space in the home where you can relax and meditate. It could be a spot in the backyard, an area of the basement, or just your bed. Wherever you feel more comfortable and can find quiet is the perfect place to reflect and relax.
5. Monetize Your New Knowledge
With your new lifestyle, you can turn some of your healthy habits into a lucrative business. For example, if you developed a love for cooking, you could start an affiliate marketing blog sharing your healthy recipes and the nutrients they provide. You could open a yoga studio or freelance as a life coach. Quick tip: these days, you’ll probably be conducting a lot of your business communications on the fly, so here’s how to save an email message as a PDF and share it from your Phone.
Reaching your optimal health is a process that may take a long time. Find a doctor, practice self-care, change your diet, create a stress-free home, and maybe even start your own health-related business. Appreciate the journey and the passions you develop along the way. The more invested and dedicated you are, the more you will get from the process.
Author’s note: I originally wrote this as a guest post a month ago for “Wellbeing Media“. I decided to run the post now, on my site, so all of my readers can read it first hand. Furthermore, I will be adding my own pictures. If you would like to see how the original post was printed, I urge you to visit their site. They also have many other great articles to read. Tap here
We all have them friends that are either toxic, bubbly or blah. Heck, some of us may fit into one of those categories. Actually, it’s very difficult not to fit onto one of those. All three are hard for the “well-adjusted” people to handle. Of course, who is well-adjusted anymore? It’s very difficult to find someone that doesn’t fit into one of these categories, in this day and age. The well-adjusted, or “normal”, would be those that at times can enter into all three of these categories without being stuck into one all the time. The only position the normal people should lean into more is the bubbly crowd.
Let’s talk for a minute about the “blah” person first and work out to the other two extremes from there. The blah person is the one that you may know that is, the most part, very boring. Never showing happiness or sadness and seems to be in the exact same place of life, at any given part of time. These people are the most reliable of the three because they are always found at the same places, at the same time, every day. If you need to talk out your own problems with someone, and just need a sounding board, these are those to seek out. These people have no true opinion, one way or the other. It’s kind of like talking to a mirror. You probably won’t get an answer to your problem from them, but instead, you talk your problem out, and find a solution for yourself. Of course, if you have good news, these are probably not the ones you want to tell it to.
The “toxic” person is the worst type of friend to have. Although toxic, we all have this type of friend, and it’s hard not to keep them. We feel sorry for these people, and are always looking for a way to put a smile on their face (this smile rarely, if ever manifest). These people are always in the dumps and never happy. You could hand a toxic person $1,000,000, and they would think you don’t like them because you didn’t give them $1,000,001. These people could make the happiest person in the world want to give up within five minutes of conversation. Although we always want to help them, a toxic person’s only help is to help themselves. They must change their own attitude towards life, before they will ever be happy. Toxic people will not listen or change for anyone, but themselves. Another way to describe a toxic person is the “Poor ole me Syndrome“. If you are a toxic person, I suggest you read this paragraph again and again until it sinks in!
The “bubbly” person is the rarest of the three, and although sometimes they are too much to handle, these are wonderful people to know. These people bring joy to others and are a blessing to all they meet. Never showing a downside to anything. Bubbly people have a love for life in their hearts and don’t mind sharing with everyone. These people are the only type that can bring a smile to the blah person and make the toxic person feel good, (for a short period of time). Are you a bubbly person? If you are, then you have people wanting to be around you all the time. This may be overwhelming to you sometimes, but don’t quit being who you are, we need more of your kind in the world today.
Lastly, there are, what I like to call the well-adjusted or, “normal” people. These are the vast majority of people on earth today. These people switch between all three at different times. Usually, these people change according to those they are around. If you are one of these, I suggest trying to stay around the blah and bubbly people as much as possible. Try to stay away from the toxic folks if you have a problem with becoming who they are when in their vicinity.
My question for you today is, which type of person are you? Is there a category that you would rather be then where you are now? The change is most definitely possible, however, going from a toxic person to a bubbly person is a huge jump! If you are toxic and want to change, I suggest working on being a blah person first, then working towards bubbly. Going from toxic to bubbly in a single leap might just overload your system, and scare the heck out of those that know you.
I hope this helps in some small way of assisting you in discovery of yourselves. It is possible to change, if you wish to do so. I don’t have a lot of hope for the middle age to elderly people who are toxic, but anything is possible. Take care, my friends and remember, we are all in this together.
Think of life as a vacation. When we are born, the vacation starts. At first, it seems like this vacation will last for a very long time. However, as we grow older, our vacation soon speeds up and will all too soon be over. The hardest thing about the greatest gift (life or shall we say vacation) is we never know when it will end. Like any extended vacation, there will be ups and downs that we will go through.
This vacation starts out great, with nothing to do but enjoy the playtime. Soon, as we grow a little older, we must pay our dues, so we can continue to enjoy our vacation. If we don’t work hard, the vacation soon starts to fall apart. We can no longer enjoy the finer things without putting in the work. If you want to be enrolled in your college of choice one day, you must put in the work to add that to your itinerary. The first thing that is thought of when someone says college is the money it cost. You may have wealthy parents to foot the bill, but you still have to keep them grades up, not only to get in, but to stay once you are there. How about being able to visit a different part of this great park, we call earth. The money must be saved and spent to visit different countries. You may need to learn different languages and customs to be able to stay for an extended amount of time. This all comes down to, how much do you want it, and are you willing to put in the work to get it?
Most people think of the one or two week vacations you get after you have worked a job for a year. If we think of life as a vacation, then we are working many years to enjoy it until we leave. This vacation can be as good or bad as we make it. This can truly be a lifelong wonderful vacation, if we want it to be. We can also have a miserable vacation, if we allow ourselves to let it be.
Here is a thought for you to put into perspective, why are people that are born with disabilities, usually the happiest people to meet? These people accomplish more and enjoy life more than the fully functioning person out there. Maybe, just maybe, they see life as a vacation they have been granted. This thing we call life, most people don’t think of more than just a struggle, but those with afflictions (who should be the ones complaining), are those that find the good things about life and live it to the fullest. These people truly enjoy life because they can see what a gift they have been given. They also know to make the best of it before their vacation runs out. Why can’t we all see life in this way? Why take this gift and make it a nightmare? The breath of life is a gift, if you want to believe it or not.
The middle of our vacation is the hardest. This is the part of the vacation we must work, not only for our own vacation, but for our families as well. As a man, I can say with all honesty, once my children started being born, all I thought about was them. I didn’t worry about me anymore, I wanted to make sure they had a better life (vacation) than me. Children make us want to work harder, so they may have the better things in life. If we are to have the nice homes, cars and family to put into our vacation, we must be willing to sacrifice a great deal for the reward. We, along with our significant other, might have to put aside what we want, in order for our children to do better than we did.
As you get older and look into your grandchildren’s eyes, you can see what you have passed down into their vacations. Furthermore, we become older, and our vacation is coming to an end. Did we get to see and do all the things we wanted to earlier in life? You would probably answer no to this question. So, if we didn’t get to enjoy the whole park (or world) did we at least get to enjoy most of life up to this point? If your answer to this is no, then it’s make-up time before the park closes. Few people get to visit even half of the park. The question is, did you get to enjoy the part of the park you have seen? Are you happy with the part of the park you are at? Can you be content to finish the rest of your vacation where you are, with happiness in your heart? If the answer is yes, then you, my friend, have been successful in life and your vacation has been wonderful indeed! If you have answered no to this question, then maybe it’s time for a few changes. You have worked hard all through life, and you deserve to end your vacation on a high note.
Let’s take a for instance and look at what you believe should be the high point of leaving this vacation. Have you been saving your money for that rainy day, but always wanted to go on a cruise? It is a good thought to be prepared, but if you are just holding money with no more reason than, if something should happen, you are letting your vacation slip away. I’m not saying to spend your life savings, but don’t just rot away on that old couch, either. Enjoy some of what you have worked so hard for. It’s a fact that you can’t take that money with you, it will stay at the park when you’re gone. You may be saving it for your loved ones to have, but you should have rights to some of it, shouldn’t you? Your loved ones should want you to enjoy the park before it closes. They are working on their own vacations, and what you leave them should be considered a bonus, not a fully paid vacation.
So let’s look back at what life is. Life is a vacation that we have no idea how long it will last. If life is a vacation, then we must work hard to make it the best vacation that we can. If we want to make the best of our vacation and truly enjoy this great park, (earth) we better do the best we can every day and not wait. Those that wait, may miss a ride if the park should close before they decide to enjoy it. Our families are also here on vacation, and we must help them make the best of the park as well. If you want to accomplish something that you have dreamed of, don’t put it off too long, or the park may close on you before you can.
This maybe the wildest way to look at life like a vacation, but isn’t better than thinking of life as a struggle? There is good and bad here at the park we call earth, but searching for the good is better than accepting the bad. We have no idea how long we will live. When your number is up, it’s up and that’s it. No matter how bad things are right now, if you look for the good, life is better. The world is not a perfect place, and we must overcome many obstacles, but overcome them and move on. Don’t give up when you’re down, keep getting up and go again. Let’s make life the best vacation ever!
Written by special guest Julia Mitchell of outspiration.net for Common-Sense Interaction.
Emerge Stronger and More Resilient Than Ever
If your desire is to not only achieve more for yourself in this life, but also to grow in ways you never imagined, you’ll likely have to dig deep and draw strength from those reserves you never knew you had. Here are some helpful tips from outspiration.net on how to achieve that level of growth you always knew you were capable of.
Perhaps the one thing that’s limiting you from achieving your dreams is your current career, in which case now may be the perfect time to step out to pursue that dream job you’ve always wanted. But first, you’ll probably have to think of redoing your resume to put your best self out there. Speaking of, you can create a phenomenal-looking resume from scratch with a resume builder if you’re stuck for inspiration. Just select a suitable template online and add your information, your photo, the relevant colors, etc.
Tidying up your home
The condition of your home could also be something that’s hindering your personal growth due to bad energy that’s just sapping every ounce of creativity out of you. If this is the case, then it may be beneficial to rid your home of any bad energy by decluttering and tidying up to create a clutter-free, more inspirational environment.
Reaching for the stars
Suppose you feel like one of the few ways to achieve the growth you’ve never known before is to reach for the stars to test your true capabilities. For example, you may think that starting your own business is the key to your success. Furthermore, you’ll need to choose a business structure that has success written all over it, such as an LLC, for instance, because its benefits such as greater flexibility, lesser paperwork, and the fact that it has more tax advantages stand out to you as a recipe for success. Just be sure that if you decide to start an LLC, you check what the filing regulations are in your state, as the rules and requirements can change from place to place.
Thinking more positively
Focus on what you’re thinking about if you want to change the course of your future. While this may seem like a piece of advice that’s too good to be true, it is helpful advice that could end up fast tracking your quest for personal growth quicker than you thought possible. Moreover, thinking positively leaves little room to think negatively, something you should avoid if you don’t want to be held back.
Adopt better habits
Suppose some habits in your life could be changed for the better, then you should focus on identifying these, so you can adapt and change them for the better. For example, you might find it challenging to get up on time, and the day just seems to slip away from you timewise. Then make it a habit to wake up earlier at the sound of your alarm clock, so you can get to more and be more productive during the day. Or perhaps it’s unhealthy eating that’s your downfall, or not exercising enough, in which case you need to take those steps towards a positive and healthier lifestyle. Reaching your goals growth-wise is sure to be quite the journey. But you’re likely to appreciate your efforts, especially when you emerge more robust, resilient, and capable than ever.
Perspectives and perceptions are different in life for everyone. As one person sees something as the correct way, another may view it as completely wrong. This could be due to the way we are raised, or to the society we are associated with. If you move from one society to another, is it not true, your views of the way you see things change as much as the society changes? Your perspective or perception of the way you view things may and usually do change as you get older. The question becomes whether this is due to age and wisdom, or to the different society we become associated with as age creeps in? I would like to think of it as a wisdom change, however, there are many factors to consider.
These differences of how we see things will show up between male and female as well. This is probably the one that most individuals see as the biggest difference. Since a male tends to think using only logic, and a female thinks mostly with feelings, this falls in bold print on the wall of different perceptions and perspectives. This may be why a strong marriage can conquer anything that comes up within it, while a weak marriage can be destroyed in a very short time. (As I have mentioned in an earlier post, love can only take a marriage so far. Other factors must come into effect to make it work). Don’t get mad at me, the difference in the way males and females think has been scientifically proven. I’m just the messenger, my friends.
Now, we have seen the different perspectives and perceptions of individuals. However, this difference in how we see things goes much deeper, but nobody seems to pick up on it. Let’s take another simple situation, and see how different perspectives and perceptions show in our everyday society. A person is brought up on charges for a crime that involves a jury, lawyers and a judge. All evidence is brought forward and shown to the jury as well as the judge. The lawyers involved will take the same evidence and use it in completely different ways to sway the jury and judge in two different directions. The jury will find the defendant either guilty or not guilty. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, the jury finds the defendant guilty. During the time the jury is in discussions, there are twelve different perceptions and perspectives that come together to come up in agreement to the conclusion of guilt. The judge now has to decide what the punishment will be, and uses his/her perspective and perception for the punishment of the crime. The defendant has now been found guilty and punishment is set by many perceptions and perspectives.
Here comes the kicker in our case from above. If, for instance, there are different lawyers, a jury and a judge, trying the same case, the defendant may receive a different punishment, or even found innocent. Even though the evidence is exactly the same, the difference in the people involved will see the case with different perspectives and perceptions. Wow, isn’t that something to think about?
Now let’s stretch this perception and perspective idea even farther. Within the United States, where I am now, each state has different views of how we should live and deal with the surrounding society. Each state has different laws, and society can be completely different from one state to the next. A person that lives in California has a different perspective and perception of how things should be done than someone that lives in Tennessee. Northern states view society different from Southern states, and so on.
If we go even farther and look into religion or politics, the views can stretch to the moon and back! If we go into different countries, we see perceptions and perspectives that are vastly different from one to the other. So does that mean perspectives and perceptions play a part in wars between countries?
I believe if we were to look at the other person’s perception and perspective, we could learn to live a more peaceful existence. Instead of trying to push what we see as correct, we look at how and why someone else’s opinions are different. The old saying goes, “Walk a mile in my shoes”. This saying should be studied in more depth, and maybe we would, could get along with our neighbors. These neighbors could be considered anywhere from someone who lives next door to someone who lives on the other side of the planet. We are all human, and we all have our own brains to use to connect with each other. Where are these views when it comes to dealing with someone that has a different perception or perspective of things than you? Could it be possible for countries to use this simple method to look for peace instead of war?
I know there will be different perceptions and perspectives of what I have written, and this is my point being played out right in front of us in black and white. Some will say this is plain fluff, and I’m just full of it. Others will see what is written, and start putting more thought into this process. Either way, I respect your opinion, and I won’t take a side one way or the other with you. All I’m doing is putting information out there for you to think about. I have my own perceptions and perspectives of the way I believe and see what is correct, however, if I were to push my side, I would lose half my readers. I plan to keep all of you with me as I write my posts, I hope by standing off to the side, and not taking a side, my readership will grow.
I hope you have enjoyed this post, and I look forward to the discussion this will bring. I will warn you, by taking one side and posting it for others to see, there will be someone taking an opposing side. Furthermore, I just ask for everyone to show consideration for others and keep your responses clean in nature. If you use foul language, I will change such words before your response will be posted, however, all responses will be posted. All are welcome, just keep it family friendly. Thank you, my friends, I will write again soon.
I have said this a few times within my writing and even in my profile, within a couple of places these post show up. Yet, I have not told the whole story of how and why this website (readcsi.com) came about. As I sit here trying to figure out what I should post about for you, my readers. I have decided to tell the story of how this blog came about. This may or may not be something that interests you, and either way is okay. Since this blog is starting to gain steam, I think it’s time to share. You may not see it on your end, but some things have happened recently, that is about to affect my writing in a good way. As a matter of fact, I may be expanding my writing to include another website where I will be working on short fictional stories. I also have some surprises coming to Common-Sense Interaction that I believe will be good for the old school thought movement going forward! Without further rambling, let me dive into my story.
Some of you may know that I was injured while working in a copper mine. If you don’t, that’s alright and not of importance at this time. That’s a story I may write about in the future. The main takeaway is that because of this accident, I became disabled and unable to continue to work. After so many years of working, I became what I feared of as a useless man. That was my first mistake, I had never become useless, that fluff was all in my head. I felt the world come tumbling down around my ears, and I was putting undue stress upon my family as well. The doctors preformed this treatment and that treatment with little result. Finally, it was decided this was something I would have to live with for the rest of my life.
The pain was pretty bad, and I was prescribed morphine for it. I was in and out of doctor’s appointments, and I was prescribed a higher and higher amount of morphine. With this drug, I got to the point of being a blubbering idiot. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I was driving my family crazy and I couldn’t see why. Furthermore, I didn’t realize how bad that opioid was making me. What made sense to me was gibberish to everyone around me. The worst part was, the drug didn’t help the pain at all. I was basically a jellyfish sitting in front of the television all the time. (Talk about useless, there it was).
Finally, I got off morphine (I went cold turkey. One day on, the next day off for good) with help from my family a great physician and psychologist at the Veterans administration. It was a surprise to find the help that I needed at the VA. Once I was myself again without the opioid poison coursing through my veins, I once again wanted to be of help somewhere. I couldn’t work at a normal job, (for me) and I wasn’t ready to lie down and quit. My wife helped me start a small farm to keep me busy. What I could do, I would and what wasn’t possible, my daughter’s helped me with.
I have always been a nighttime person, but after the accident, this became acute insomnia. Watching television night after night became boring and it wasn’t helping my IQ any either. I needed something to keep my mind busy and off my pain. Finally I starting writing a little. I started with a personal blog (The Billy thoughts) and it got me nowhere. I’m not the kind of person to do something without making it better than before. I wanted others to read my stories and if nothing else, feel sorry for me. I know that’s horrible, but that’s where I was at during this time of life. So, I decided to start writing of my experiences and things that I had learned through my life. I wrote a few things, had my wife look over them to check for spelling and punctuation errors, and posted them on my new blog Common-Sense Ideology). People started reading and I found out, I was helping others as much as myself. What once was personal therapy, now was therapy for others as well!
I continue to make small post on my blog, and the more I wrote, the more people read. It was such a surprise that I started getting excited. I have always been good at teaching others hands on work, but teaching through my little post about life skills, who knew? All of a sudden, I’m no longer writing for myself, I’m writing for my readers. I have to get busy and make this something to be proud of. I worked on different little things, like colors and making different pages. Furthermore, I looked at the name Common-Sense Ideology, which was the whole name to log in with (Commonsenseideology.com) and thought, something isn’t right. On my page, it actually said CSI because I thought I could get some alien chasers to my blog. I did it as a joke, but it caught on! Then as I was reading the definitions of common sense and Ideology, I discovered they were complete opposite. They worked against each other and made me look like a moron.
I still wanted to keep CSI, but needed to change what the “I” would mean. I literally got out a dictionary and started going down all the words starting with the letter “I”. This may be simple for you, but for me, it took many hours to decide what to go with. I finally decided to go with “Interaction”, and it seemed to fit. So now my paid domain would read “Commonsenseinteraction.com”. Still seemed wrong, too damn long. While I started thinking what to do to fix that, I decided I needed a catchphrase, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. “Old School thought” was exactly what I wanted. It all fit, except for the outrageously long domain name. It took me three months to come up with something simple for others to remember. And so “readcsi.com” was born! I still kept the “CSI” that I wanted and came to be known by. Short, simple and to the point, I had it all figured out.
Now the only thing left was a logo to fit all my ideas into. How hard could it be? Crap, a lot harder than I thought! I’ve had a few different avatars. (see avatars at bottom of post) Some looked okay, some looked terrible! Six months and I finally made one I like. I sure hope you like it as well because I’m not changing it again, too much writing to do to worry about anything else. I will continue to update my site and welcome any ideas you might want to shoot my way.
Well, if you kept reading to this point, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. As I said before, there are a lot of exciting things on the way, possibly even a sister site. Thank you for reading and being a part of this community. If you haven’t signed up for emails, you are welcome to join this community for free. Let’s get together and spread “Old School thought” using “Common Sense” with our “Interaction” and watch it grow! Stay tuned and take care, my friends. Great things are on the way!!!
Do you feel as though you are in an endless cycle of time? You wake up, go to work, go home, eat dinner, go to bed and then start all over again. Unless it’s the weekend, days just seem to drone on. The weekend goes by like a flash, then back to work we go. I’m not saying that you don’t enjoy your job, but isn’t there more to life? Of course there is! The problem is, most people never find out what life’s about until age becomes a factor that slows the process down, yet tends to speed time up. The time on the clock doesn’t actually speed up, but it does feel like it as we grow in age. We want to savor everything more, and yet there is no time left to do so. We have wasted so much time while young, that we try to catch up in our later years. These are things we all will experience and learn from. We must learn to be happy with the time we are in to truly enjoy what time we have left.
Why do things appear to be so different when retirement shows up? When we are working, we look forward to retirement. When we retire, we wish we once again were back at work. This may not be the feelings of all who read this, but a great majority will agree with me. We rush through life to that small part of our life when it becomes available, then we take a look back. All of our conversations start by talking of things in our past.
When will civilization figure out to enjoy the part of life we are in, and stop trying to rush though it? I myself ended up retiring early because of an accident at work that left me disabled. Every day I think of how it was to go to work, and do what I was so good at. Here I am, retired, and yet my enjoyment seems to be in the past. I tell my stories of things I did, and witnessed back then. I forget to enjoy the day that I’m in. Furthermore, I wonder if my best days of happiness and being of use are behind me. There seems to be a fog, or veil in front of me with the sun always at my back. I’m not a rich man, so I can’t go do things I would like to do. All the time I have wasted to get to this point, and the best I can think of is what movie I may watch. When did I lose the enjoyment of life?
Then there are days like today. Nothing is really different except for my perception of the things around me. I walk outside and there is a light breeze with small clouds moving through the sky. Birds are singing and the leaves on the trees are rustling. What is different about today? Why is it today I feel so alive and happy? Were these same things happening yesterday and the day before? Yes, almost exactly as today. Why then is today such a happy day? Why is my heart beating a little faster? Why today, I ask myself, why today? For all the questions I ask myself, the answers are in my perspective of how I will greet this day.
Today is different from yesterday, for I am different today. My perception of things around me has changed today. I am happy, because I choose to be happy. I am enjoying today, because I choose to enjoy it. Furthermore, I am living to the fullness of life today. It is a beautiful day. Today, I am a happy person in all parts of my life. I write to you, and I can almost feel your eyes upon these words, and I feel the wander in your thoughts. The more I write, the more I feel a little more of my soul being poured out over these words. Will I be this happy tomorrow? This I will decide tonight. Should I be as happy as I am today, tomorrow? The answer is completely up to me. If I choose to be happy, I will start the day happy, and that is the way it should be. Most of the time, our feelings are in our control, this does not hold true 100% of the time, but I would venture to say, 85% of the time, we feel how we want to at any given moment in life.
There are always variables, such as a sudden death in the family. This may throw your feelings into a tailspin. However, if you started the day choosing the more positive approach, you will be able to handle this tragedy with a clear mind. Whereas, if you started with the negative, you may fall into a place with no sense of direction. Your feelings were already in the toilet, and when the tragedy hit, you just flushed them. One scenario allows you to function, while the other has you with a complete loss of control. In both instances you are sad for your loss, but in the positive case, you are able to help others instead of being the basket case needing help. How you start out the day is in your control, and nobody can choose this for you. You have a decision to make, what shall you choose?
Are you willing to wake up happy tomorrow, or will you choose to have a rotten day tomorrow? Things may go bad tomorrow, but if you choose to start off in a good mood, you can weather the storm. On the other hand, if you decide it’s going to be a rotten day, it will be a terrible day. And what if something great happens tomorrow? If you have chosen rotten already, you won’t be able to enjoy it because you have already decided it is going to be bad. Negative people rarely have a good day because they choose not to. On the opposite side, a positive person has very few bad days because they choose not to have them. Am I getting through to you yet?
Life is too short to live it, one miserable day at a time. Try to make it a happy day, and see how much better things can be, even if there are bumps along the way. Let’s all have a great day tomorrow and continue this trend every day. If you want a little saying to help you, just remember, positive thoughts will lead you to positive things, whereas, negative thoughts can only lead to negative things! Take care, my friends, and stay positive. There are better things in store for you tomorrow.
People fall in love and usually get married soon after. Is love the leading factor in marriage? Of course, it is, but is love the only thing that is needed in a marriage to make it work? This I believe would be a hard no! There are many other factors that are necessary to make a marriage work and last.
What are the factors that add up to a good marriage and are needed to hold it together. As we grow and change as people, do we need more than what was first given? How are we able to hold the vow of better or worse till death? When the worse shows its ugly self, do we have what it takes to stay within that vow? As the marriage grows in age, what once was plenty, now is not enough.
A married couple that has been together for many years, know each other’s good and bad sides. The problem lies where the bad tends to grow faster in one’s soul if not taken into great depths of consideration. There may be something that he/she did that was cute when you first married, but now becomes a thorn in your side.
Many long term marriages end and both the husband and wife will say, “We just grew apart.” Is this reality, or is this just a way of saying they no longer have any new to look forward to? It’s like working on an assembly line putting that one little part in a toy over and over again, a million times. After the hundred-thousandth time, you tend to get bored. Where do we go from here when it’s the same routine with no end?
If you don’t keep your marriage fresh, it will wither and die like the lettuce in your refrigerator. When it gets to that point, do you continue and let the love die the same way everything else in the union has, or do you allow your partner to leave with love still a factor? The song by the “Beatles” states, “all you need is love”, but we must remember, it’s just a song and doesn’t fit real life.
So where are the answers that we need to continue what so long ago was wonderful and fresh? This is not an easy question to answer, but if you wish to keep things together, it must involve both sides to want it. If one side decides, the marriage must end, the other side is better off to let them go. Holding on will just cause more problems when the time has finally come to call it quits.
Have you quit doing the things that made your significant other fall in love with you in the first place? If this is true, and you want to save your marriage, it’s time to bring those things back into existence. This is not a guarantee by any means, but it is better than giving up what you don’t wish to lose. Is there one cheating on the other? In this case, the marriage has already headed into the depths of destruction, and the chances of a reconciliation is extremely hard. It is very difficult for the other side to e ever trust him/her again, ever!
All marriages go through rough patches, and only the strong survive. People are naturally selfish and want what best for themselves. The hardest marriages to keep connected, are those where the two people are of different religions. This puts a great weight on the marriage and there must be a true respect for one another, more so than those of the same religion.
Once married, the two become one and, if you do not believe this, your marriage is already on the rocks. If one tries to have control of the other, this is slavery, not marriage. This is where people make their biggest mistake. It’s all even between the two until the honeymoon is over, then both wish to have control. If this is you, you are already failing in your marriage. This is something to be thought of before you ever get married. Are you willing to share your life with this other person, and are they willing to share theirs with you?
Arguments are going to happen, but abuse should never even cross your thinking, even during the worst argument. Abuse can be physical as well as mental. Belittling your spouse is almost as bad as striking them. Have you ever considered this?
So love is a huge part of marriage, but there are other aspects to it. You must think through all aspects if you wish to celebrate your twenty-fifth or fifty anniversary. It’s a long haul with many bumps along the way. A long marriage consists of two strong people willing to give, even when you would rather take. And last of all, if there are kids involved, don’t ever make them feel they had anything to do if a divorce is immediate. Make sure you both are civil with one another when you are around the kids. Also, don’t ever say anything bad about your ex, or soon to be ex, to your children. This is the number one course of action to follow.
I have now been married for twenty-one plus years, and we have found a way to make it work through the good times and bad. Marriage takes work and complete respect for each other. Without this, we would never have lasted five years, guarantee. When I started writing this post, I was deep in an argument with my beloved. I can say the finishing touches of this post has ended with the argument over and peace in our household. If you wish to ask, which one of us won the argument, the answer is both of us. We are one and will be until death do us part.
I hope I find all of you that are married, or thinking of marriage, in good spirits and with peace in your home. If there are those reading this that are going through a divorce, I wish you well, and I hope you both find what you are looking for. Take care and God bless.
Mr. Shadow man…. I turn, and you are there, watching my every move. I cannot hide unless the darkness envelops me. The world keeps moving, spinning to and fro. I try to follow, but am slowed in curiosity of the one who watches my every move.
How can I be alone when you are always there? I do wrong and you show the world. All I want is to be myself, but you won’t leave me alone. Who am I? Am I your shadow, or are you mine? Am I in control, or just a figment of my own imagination? Why do you keep an eye on me, even when I’m not watching you?
Are you the darkness swallowing me whole for my wrongful deeds, or will you lead me to a better world? With strength of heart, I continue, even with thoughts that follow my every move. I will try to do right with hopes you will go away.
Am I a part of you, or are you the part that rules? Are you my shadow or am I yours, Mr. Shadow man?
Only a writer knows what he/she will put down on paper. Whether it is fact or fiction, the writer must enter the pages before a word is even spelled out. To live in a writer’s mind would be unnerving to most. To take all the threads of thought and be able to string them together for the reader to understand, is a miracle in itself. How do these people function in the outside world with so much yet to be written? How do we put aside our writer’s thoughts to function outside the pages of his/her next great work spelled out for you, the reader.
The paragraph above has truly been in my thoughts, as I to live in a writer’s world now. Before the accident that sidelined my career, I myself could never string two sentences together to help someone understand what I was thinking. I would’ve never been able to allow someone to look into my thoughts on any given subject, whether fact or fiction. Why now then am I able to do so? Why can I now paint a picture in someone’s mind using nothing but the words I put into print? I have a lot to learn to write a book and keep my audience engaged, but I can write short stories and keep my readers’ attention throughout.
I have always been a good talker, (some would suggest, I am way too good at it) I can tell a story in casual conversation and make you feel as though you are living it as I speak. But, to write something and get the same reaction, now that’s a lot harder to accomplish. For you see, when I write, I have to imagine your expressions while you read. I cannot see how you are taking my stories while you are engaging in them. Face to face, I can adjust my emotions to help you get more from the story. But, when I write the story down, I can only use the words, without facial expression and imagine how you are taking my words in. How you are understanding what I am trying to explain is different and difficult.
Everyone has their own imagination and without the help of the writers emotions being seen, how can I decide what words to use. Is there a universal set of words that all will understand? So what changed for me to be able to get through to you using only my thoughts and written words? I have found my answer to these questions, that satisfy my own mind, but I can’t speak for other writers and their thoughts on this subject.
My adaptability to using the words on a page comes from speaking to myself within myself. I use my inner thoughts as an audience to my writing. I do ask a couple of family members to read some of my post before I publish them, so I can see their emotions as they read. This usually gives me confidence, however, I do get a feeling sometimes, they are just being kind. It takes the person I don’t know to give me a review before my confidence really goes up. I have also learned a lot from my wife with how to write down an idea and to explain it. (I am very thankful for her help) I have since moved on to using my own ways, whether they are correct or not.
I began to have a lot of time within my own mind after my accident. I have gone through a bout of self pity, but have used that to help others. Depression has been a great part of dealing with myself, and I have been able to turn that into a positive through my written words. As I write, I feel a power of positivity flow through me and into my hands. This flow is what you are reading in my post. Depression is completely gone as long as I am writing.
All in all, I have decided, the reason I have been able to write the way I do is simple. I have learned to spend more time inside my own thoughts and less time outside my own head. We all talk to ourselves from time to time, but I spend hours in deep conversations with myself, although not showing it on the outside. If I were to have my conversations with myself out loud, I would be writing with crayons inside a sanatorium. Best to keep my conversations quite, I think.
I would like to hear how other writers are able to do what they do, or if they even know. Does it just come natural to some, most or all of them? Am I the freak amongst the crowd, or am I on the normal side of things with how I write? Of course, if this is normal, I worry about the great “Stephen King“. I would be afraid to discuss with myself in terms of the things he writes. I believe that would drive me insane. Furthermore, I know I will never be a great writer like Mr. King, but the thought that he discusses things with himself, the way I do, would be intriguing to know.
I’m being selfish with this post because, it has been written as much for me as for my readers. I have been reading many post from many authors about anything and everything. As I read other post, it came to me about how they are able to write as they do. Are we the same, or am I a loose cannon? I would love to hear thoughts from other authors on this subject. Do you also talk to yourself and read to yourself to figure out how your audience will respond? Are the things you write about already a part of you, or do you have to go outside your mind to get your stories? Give me some answers here, so that I can better understand how I came about this ability to connect with others using printed words.
I suppose, if some guys with white suits show up at my door offering me a jacket with sleeves that tie in the back, I will have my answer of going crazy or not. Just in case, I won’t give you my address for now. Well, that’s it for now. I look forward to reading your thoughts. If you are an author, let me know if you write fiction or non-fiction and how you come up with your writing abilities. Take care, my friends. Until next time, remember, we are all in this together.