Categories
short stories

Sometimes love isn’t enough

       People fall in love and usually get married soon after. Is love the leading factor in marriage? Of course, it is, but is love the only thing that is needed in a marriage to make it work? This I believe would be a hard no! There are many other factors that are necessary to make a marriage work and last.

Man and woman just married, embraced

       What are the factors that add up to a good marriage and are needed to hold it together. As we grow and change as people, do we need more than what was first given? How are we able to hold the vow of better or worse till death? When the worse shows its ugly self, do we have what it takes to stay within that vow? As the marriage grows in age, what once was plenty, now is not enough.

       A married couple that has been together for many years, know each other’s good and bad sides. The problem lies where the bad tends to grow faster in one’s soul if not taken into great depths of consideration. There may be something that he/she did that was cute when you first married, but now becomes a thorn in your side.

      Many long term marriages end and both the husband and wife will say, “We just grew apart.” Is this reality, or is this just a way of saying they no longer have any new to look forward to? It’s like working on an assembly line putting that one little part in a toy over and over again, a million times. After the hundred-thousandth time, you tend to get bored. Where do we go from here when it’s the same routine with no end?

      If you don’t keep your marriage fresh, it will wither and die like the lettuce in your refrigerator. When it gets to that point, do you continue and let the love die the same way everything else in the union has, or do you allow your partner to leave with love still a factor? The song by the “Beatles” states, “all you need is love”, but we must remember, it’s just a song and doesn’t fit real life.

        So where are the answers that we need to continue what so long ago was wonderful and fresh? This is not an easy question to answer, but if you wish to keep things together, it must involve both sides to want it. If one side decides, the marriage must end, the other side is better off to let them go. Holding on will just cause more problems when the time has finally come to call it quits.

Married man and woman, both with crossed arms, discussing divorce

      Have you quit doing the things that made your significant other fall in love with you in the first place? If this is true, and you want to save your marriage, it’s time to bring those things back into existence. This is not a guarantee by any means, but it is better than giving up what you don’t wish to lose. Is there one cheating on the other? In this case, the marriage has already headed into the depths of destruction, and the chances of a reconciliation is extremely hard. It is very difficult for the other side to e ever trust him/her again, ever!

      All marriages go through rough patches, and only the strong survive. People are naturally selfish and want what best for themselves. The hardest marriages to keep connected, are those where the two people are of different religions. This puts a great weight on the marriage and there must be a true respect for one another, more so than those of the same religion.

      Once married, the two become one and, if you do not believe this, your marriage is already on the rocks. If one tries to have control of the other, this is slavery, not marriage. This is where people make their biggest mistake. It’s all even between the two until the honeymoon is over, then both wish to have control. If this is you, you are already failing in your marriage. This is something to be thought of before you ever get married. Are you willing to share your life with this other person, and are they willing to share theirs with you?

       Arguments are going to happen, but abuse should never even cross your thinking, even during the worst argument. Abuse can be physical as well as mental. Belittling your spouse is almost as bad as striking them. Have you ever considered this?

       So love is a huge part of marriage, but there are other aspects to it. You must think through all aspects if you wish to celebrate your twenty-fifth or fifty anniversary. It’s a long haul with many bumps along the way. A long marriage consists of two strong people willing to give, even when you would rather take. And last of all, if there are kids involved, don’t ever make them feel they had anything to do if a divorce is immediate. Make sure you both are civil with one another when you are around the kids. Also, don’t ever say anything bad about your ex, or soon to be ex, to your children. This is the number one course of action to follow.

Woman and man's hand together shows wedding bands

I have now been married for twenty-one plus years, and we have found a way to make it work through the good times and bad. Marriage takes work and complete respect for each other. Without this, we would never have lasted five years, guarantee. When I started writing this post, I was deep in an argument with my beloved. I can say the finishing touches of this post has ended with the argument over and peace in our household. If you wish to ask, which one of us won the argument, the answer is both of us. We are one and will be until death do us part.

I hope I find all of you that are married, or thinking of marriage, in good spirits and with peace in your home. If there are those reading this that are going through a divorce, I wish you well, and I hope you both find what you are looking for. Take care and God bless.

Father’s vs Daddy’s

     I believe we need to change the name from Father’s Day to Daddy’s Day. This is something that I have always believed. I think if you read on, you may understand where I’m coming from.

      What is a father? According to the dictionary, it is: a man in relation to his child or children. This is a pretty vague and open description. Daddy is an informal way of saying father, however in a child’s eyes, there is a big difference.  Any male figure can become a father, but not all fathers can or choose to be a daddy. There are many men who have created children, including very bad men. This includes abusive men, rapists or even murderers of their children. Why are we allowing these men to be celebrated? This is the first part of why I believe the name change is in order.

Daddy reading to his daughter while they sit in tent

      To all fathers that are taking care of their children, whether being in the same household or not, I salute you. The men that have stepped up for their children can be considered father and daddy. Remember, just because you helped create a child, does not make you a daddy.

        What about a man that steps up to raise a child that they did not create? Those that are stepdads and those that adopt children and become dads can possibly be considered daddy, but not always. If the men in these cases raise these children with love, compassion and respect, they may and possibly will become a daddy. However, in the stepdad position, this may or may not be the case. If the father is still in the child’s life and also shows the child love, compassion and respect, then this will trump the stepdad’s claim on the term daddy. As long as the stepdad shows love, compassion and respect for the child, then these are still great men to be respected.

Daddy sleeping with his child on his chest

       It takes a special man to be a daddy, It only takes sex to become a father. There is a huge difference in these two terms. Why are we celebrating all fathers when so many don’t deserve to be celebrated? Why are we leaving out the daddys that deserves to be celebrated? Some families do celebrate daddys on Fathers Day as well they should, but the name in the holiday doesn’t fit.

       I never knew my father and have not seen him since I was a baby. Do I believe this man deserves to be celebrated on Father’s Day? Without ever meeting this man, I would have to say no for now. I am now in my fifties and this man has never tried to contact me in any way. The man that became my stepdad at the age of four earned the role of daddy through the years. This man showed me love, compassion and respect until the day he died. I never called him daddy because I was raised in the time when that was only a term said out loud by the girls in the family. Dads and sons in my day didn’t hug or show much emotion. Shaking hands was the highest respect that was used to show love. I called him dad,  but in my mind’s eye, I was always saying daddy.

Picture of my Daddy

       I will spend another Father’s Day this year without my daddy, and I miss him so much. If you have a daddy, make sure you show this great man love. Even though some of us old men are still stuck in the handshake mode, we still love our hugs.

       I hope I have made my case for the name change of this holiday. Some people never realize how special a daddy can be until they are gone. Have a  Happy Daddy’s Day!

Categories
Blog posts short stories

Repair your inner core to look younger

      I have been watching and learning from people all my life. Some feel this to be normal, but I look into the thoughts and actions of people deeper than most. We all come to a point in life where, no matter what your age, want to become something we can no longer be. The older we get, the younger we try to become. This concept has engulfed most of my thoughts while studying others. Whether it’s make-up for women or lifting weights for men, we are always trying to turn back the clock of life. Let it be known, you will be a day older tomorrow, regardless how much you do today to try and change it. Once you are thirty years of age, twenty-nine is gone forever. So are we trying to turn back the clock to help others see us as we were, or are we trying to help ourselves live a long and healthy life?

     Watching people can teach you a lot about yourself, but one thing it won’t teach you is to be happy with you! You can lose the weight, run five miles a day and eat all the right things, but you are still you. If you believe losing ten more pounds will make someone love you more, you are sadly mistaken. If anyone has ever made this statement to you, then surprise, they don’t know what love is. And if you believe it, then guess what, you don’t know what love is any more than they do.

Lady with lots of make-up with scowl
Make-up doesn’t cover up meanness

In the time it has taken you to read this far, you have gained age, and nothing you can do will change that. You can make the package look better, but you are still the age you are. I have nothing against anyone that wants to improve themselves physically, but you’re not turning back the clock, you are just putting a new coat of paint on it. God Bless those that try, but remember, we are still who we are. If you were a rotten person at three hundred and fifty pounds, you are the same rotten person at two hundred pounds unless you fix the inside, not just the outside.

As I watch, most people try to do the upkeep of their bodies, not for themselves, but for others. This is a huge mistake! If you want to truly improve yourself, put as much work on your inside as you do on the outside. And some might take this wrong and yell at the screen, “I am eating right!” This has nothing to do with what I am suggesting. To fix the inside (inner core), we must fix numerous things that have nothing to do with what we eat. We must repair our attitude (positive rather than negative), humor, thought process and even something called love for our fellow humans. Do you treat others the way you wish to be treated, or just expect them to show you kindness while you treat them like dirt? Are you making people feel welcome or slamming the door in their face? These are inside things that can be fixed with less will power, than it takes to leave the cookie jar closed.

You have now gained a few more minutes of age and there’s no going back. The good news, you can change for the better and make the world a better place beginning now. It may take a long time to lose the weight. It may take a long time to be able to lift them free weights you have been staring at. But you can start making yourself a better person by the time you finish reading this post. All it takes is to decide to do it. Once you have made this decision, it will start making you a better person immediately. Do you feel good about who you are? This question has nothing to do with weight, muscles or what job you have. I ask again, do you feel good about who you are? Can you look someone in the eyes when talking to them, or do you have to look away? Are you trying to hide who you are, or are you proud of who you are?

Lady running in triathlon with smile on he face
Good inner core makes all the difference

Here’s the good news. Once you start working and repairing your inside, it will become easier to repair the outside! All of a sudden, it will be easier to lose the weight or run them five miles, if you wish. And as far as turning back the clock, the glow you put off to others will make you look much younger than what you are. We can’t turn back the clock of age. We haven’t the technology of a time machine yet. Make-up may cover the rust, but when it is taken off at night, the rust will still be there. But an inner core can be repaired and will show on the outside as though you have the ability to turn back the clock. You have the power, but do you have the will? This is my challenge I lay before you. If you should accept, I promise you will become a new you, and you don’t have to believe an infomercial to receive it. God Bless, I wish you well, and I will talk to you again next week.

Categories
Blog posts

Love like your pet and end war!!

     If only humans could love each other like our pets love us. We have all heard about unconditional love and yet we know nothing about it. If you would like to see the true meaning of unconditional love, take a look into your dog’s eyes. I choose a dog because they are the one animal that truly has this kind of love for their owner. A dog will lay his life down for you even if you have mistreated him. Now if you are mistreating your pet, then I hope you are punished.

White labrador retriever

     We as humans have the mindset to be who we want to be and yet we tend to choose destruction ove.r love for one another. I don’t understand how humanity could make such a terrible mistake like this. Why, in this day and age, do we have wars with each other? Wars are totally unnecessary in these times. I shall explain farther so as not to sound completely incompetent. Wars are always started for one of three reasons. First one is of course, religion. The second falls under the heading of resources. The final is for complete control.

      Talking about the third reason “complete control” is what is happening right now in Ukraine. When this happens, it is always started by some crazy person who wants to rule over as many people as possible. If you believe this will end in Ukraine (if not stopped by someone), you are sadly mistaken. This is the dumbest war that can be started with no real reason to do it other than for control. If the people of the evading country could love others the way their pets love them, they wouldn’t follow a crazy man. Some brave person or persons would remove this virus from power and there wouldn’t be a war in the first place. The ones who follow the crazy person at the top have no love for their fellow humans. They are also cowards for not stopping this crazy person in the first place. People will argue that the people have no choice but to follow because the army of the nut case at the top is too powerful. I answer this by saying, the army is the ones who cowardly follow the nut ball at the top and have no love for fellow humans including their own people that they are putting in the situation of having to follow.

A sign saying if Russia stops, no more war
If Ukraine stops, no more Ukraine

     I have been watching the destruction of Ukraine with a heavy heart. The one thing I can say is the people of Ukraine are the toughest people I have ever witnessed. They are standing strong and fighting back the evil that is invading their land. These people are heroes in my book. The invading Russian troops are cowardly for following such evil and not standing up for humanity. They see what they are doing and continue to blindly follow something that they themselves do not believe to be right.

    I did mention that there were two other reasons for war. The first being for religious purposes and trying to force others to follow their views. This kind of war is also stupid because over the centuries of these wars being fought, these have never won anything. There are more religions today then there were hundreds of years ago. This says that there will be more religions created as more time passes. There is always someone who will come up with something different and gain a following. Think about it, during these hundreds of years, how many wars have been started for religious beliefs and how many new religions are there today? I want to make this perfectly clear, religions are man made! The more time that passes, the more people will come up with new religions. So starting a religious war is stupid because it doesn’t change anything. Before I leave this paragraph, I must say that I am a Christian and I am just explaining how starting a religious war is stupid. Protecting your religious beliefs against an invading force is very much warranted.

       The other type of war is for resources. This type of war is usually mixed with one of the other two types of war. Resources are usually a secondary thought and a bonus to the invading force but not the first reason for the war to be started. So when we examine it, there are actually only two reasons for war to be started, religion or domination with resources as a bonus for the invading force.

     I was not going to write this post and I must say that it is not something I enjoyed to do. I do feel like I must say something because of what is happening to people that truly don’t deserve what is happening to them right now. It is hard to see the rest of the world standing on the side lines and watching  something so horrific happening and doing nothing to help. I am saddened by the lack of love in so many. If only they would take a minute and see the love their pets have for them and learn to love the same way, this kind of thing would never happen in the first place. Along those same lines, while it is happening, other countries would step up and stop this horrible unjustified war. May God be with the Ukraine people in their time of need.

      If you have read my post before you know that I always end saying how we are all in this together. Today I will not end my post like that for the Ukraine people are standing alone and we are not in this together. Remember to love one another as your pets love you. We can live in peace if only we will do this simple thing. Look into them puppy eyes and learn what it is to have unconditional love.

Categories
Blog posts

We all start with pure souls

     There’s nothing like a sleeping child, so peaceful and so innocent. It amazes me to no end how such a peaceful creature can grow up to be a monster. Not all children fall into this category but there are far too many that do. Who’s fault is it? Is it the parents, society, the change of the times or the devil himself? I believe that any one of these or a combination of two or more can change a person for the worse.

     I have known people that said that a certain bad person was a terrible child growing up. This may be true but what caused the child to be so? Was this child part of a broken home, picked on constantly by the school bully or possibly laughed at for being different from the other children in the classroom? Whatever it was that sowed the seed of evil into this child, one thing is for certain in my opinion, the devil had his hands evolved in this process. You can say what you will but this is the most logical excuse for such a transformation. Children are not born evil because they are not born with the knowledge of evil. Evil must be learned.

     How can you become something that you know nothing about? Something causes this sweet child to become a terror later in life. Circumstances that are introduced into this child’s life has to be the cause of something that changes how this child will view life. If love is not introduced to this child, then evil has an opening into this child’s heart. Evil is the opposite of love and we shall follow one or the other throughout our lives. It is true that one can change from evil to good or visa versa but there will be something that happens to cause this person to change.

      The most evil of man started life with a clean soul. Somewhere along the way something had to have happened to put a stain on this clean soul to create the evil that comes forth in life. Something positive must happen for someone to revert back to the good from evil. Most of the time this comes from finding something good to lead this person away from the evil that they have lived with up to that point.

     So what is this great force that can transform an evil person into a good person once more? What do we see that can take us from a destructive life into a productive life once more? Is it the luck of the draw. Does the world have pity on us and allow us to see the good instead of the bad all the time? Do we see someone that is more evil than us and it makes us change our ways? What can we do that will rid this person or ourselves of this hate and hurt built-up inside of us and others?

     What shall we do to rid ourselves and others of the evil within? The answer is extremely simple actually. The opposite of hate is love. The opposite of luck is faith. The opposite of the devil is God. We have the ability to change not only ourselves but the others around us by seeing the good through the bad and making the correct choices. Others who see how much better our lives are by using the good, faith and God will soon want to try this for themselves. The most horrible person can have a change of heart if only someone will show them how. If you live with peace in your heart and allow it to show through your everyday life, others will want to be like you. They will pay very close attention to you because they desire that peace that you possess. This is human nature. Nobody wants to feel hurt and hate. People desire what you have and will do what it takes to find the peace you have for themselves.

Baby looking into camera playing with his toes

    I want to make this as clear as I possibly can. We all start off life with a clean soul with no hate within it. We learn hate, it is not inherited. The next time that you have the chance to look into a baby’s eyes, look and see if there is love or hate in them. Remember, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I am 100% sure that baby only has love within their eyes. Think about this my friends. Feel free to respond to this post. I look forward to talking with each and everyone of you. This being said, I want you to always Remember, we are all in this together.

Categories
Blog posts

Father’s vs Daddy’s

     I believe we need to change the name from Father’s Day to Daddy’s Day. This is something that I have always believed. I think if you read on, you may understand where I’m coming from.

      What is a father? According to the dictionary, it is: a man in relation to his child or children. This is a pretty vague and open description. Daddy is an informal way of saying father, however in a child’s eyes, there is a big difference.  Any male figure can become a father, but not all fathers can or choose to be a daddy. There are many men who have created children, including very bad men. This includes abusive men, rapists or even murderers of their children. Why are we allowing these men to be celebrated? This is the first part of why I believe the name change is in order.

Daddy reading to his daughter while they sit in tent

      To all fathers that are taking care of their children, whether being in the same household or not, I salute you. The men that have stepped up for their children can be considered father and daddy. Remember, just because you helped create a child, does not make you a daddy.

        What about a man that steps up to raise a child that they did not create? Those that are stepdads and those that adopt children and become dads can possibly be considered daddy, but not always. If the men in these cases raise these children with love, compassion and respect, they may and possibly will become a daddy. However, in the stepdad position, this may or may not be the case. If the father is still in the child’s life and also shows the child love, compassion and respect, then this will trump the stepdad’s claim on the term daddy. As long as the stepdad shows love, compassion and respect for the child, then these are still great men to be respected.

Daddy sleeping with his child on his chest

       It takes a special man to be a daddy, It only takes sex to become a father. There is a huge difference in these two terms. Why are we celebrating all fathers when so many don’t deserve to be celebrated? Why are we leaving out the daddys that deserves to be celebrated? Some families do celebrate daddys on Fathers Day as well they should, but the name in the holiday doesn’t fit.

       I never knew my father and have not seen him since I was a baby. Do I believe this man deserves to be celebrated on Father’s Day? Without ever meeting this man, I would have to say no for now. I am now in my fifties and this man has never tried to contact me in any way. The man that became my stepdad at the age of four earned the role of daddy through the years. This man showed me love, compassion and respect until the day he died. I never called him daddy because I was raised in the time when that was only a term said out loud by the girls in the family. Dads and sons in my day didn’t hug or show much emotion. Shaking hands was the highest respect that was used to show love. I called him dad, but in my mind’s eye, I was always saying daddy.

Picture of my Daddy

       I will spend another Father’s Day this year without my daddy, and I miss him so much. If you have a daddy, make sure you show this great man love. Even though some of us old men are still stuck in the handshake mode, we still love our hugs.

       I hope I have made my case for the name change of this holiday. Some people never realize how special a daddy can be until they are gone. Have a  Happy Daddy’s Day!