We all start with pure souls

     There’s nothing like a sleeping child, so peaceful and so innocent. It amazes me to no end how such a peaceful creature can grow up to be a monster. Not all children fall into this category but there are far too many that do. Who’s fault is it? Is it the parents, society, the change of the times or the devil himself? I believe that any one of these or a combination of two or more can change a person for the worse.

     I have known people that said that a certain bad person was a terrible child growing up. This may be true but what caused the child to be so? Was this child part of a broken home, picked on constantly by the school bully or possibly laughed at for being different from the other children in the classroom? Whatever it was that sowed the seed of evil into this child, one thing is for certain in my opinion, the devil had his hands evolved in this process. You can say what you will but this is the most logical excuse for such a transformation. Children are not born evil because they are not born with the knowledge of evil. Evil must be learned.

     How can you become something that you know nothing about? Something causes this sweet child to become a terror later in life. Circumstances that are introduced into this child’s life has to be the cause of something that changes how this child will view life. If love is not introduced to this child, then evil has an opening into this child’s heart. Evil is the opposite of love and we shall follow one or the other throughout our lives. It is true that one can change from evil to good or visa versa but there will be something that happens to cause this person to change.

      The most evil of man started life with a clean soul. Somewhere along the way something had to have happened to put a stain on this clean soul to create the evil that comes forth in life. Something positive must happen for someone to revert back to the good from evil. Most of the time this comes from finding something good to lead this person away from the evil that they have lived with up to that point.

     So what is this great force that can transform an evil person into a good person once more? What do we see that can take us from a destructive life into a productive life once more? Is it the luck of the draw. Does the world have pity on us and allow us to see the good instead of the bad all the time? Do we see someone that is more evil than us and it makes us change our ways? What can we do that will rid this person or ourselves of this hate and hurt built-up inside of us and others?

     What shall we do to rid ourselves and others of the evil within? The answer is extremely simple actually. The opposite of hate is love. The opposite of luck is faith. The opposite of the devil is God. We have the ability to change not only ourselves but the others around us by seeing the good through the bad and making the correct choices. Others who see how much better our lives are by using the good, faith and God will soon want to try this for themselves. The most horrible person can have a change of heart if only someone will show them how. If you live with peace in your heart and allow it to show through your everyday life, others will want to be like you. They will pay very close attention to you because they desire that peace that you possess. This is human nature. Nobody wants to feel hurt and hate. People desire what you have and will do what it takes to find the peace you have for themselves.

Baby looking into camera playing with his toes

    I want to make this as clear as I possibly can. We all start off life with a clean soul with no hate within it. We learn hate, it is not inherited. The next time that you have the chance to look into a baby’s eyes, look and see if there is love or hate in them. Remember, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I am 100% sure that baby only has love within their eyes. Think about this my friends. Feel free to respond to this post. I look forward to talking with each and everyone of you. This being said, I want you to always Remember, we are all in this together.

Children change parents

Having children changes our whole outlook on life and how we live it. When we become parents, we become different people. We are now responsible for another life not just our own. Our thought patterns become what we would once describe as alien. Is the party really over or is it just beginning? This is definitely determined by how you receive the great gift of parenthood.

Who is ready to be a parent for the first time? Most people would answer this question in one of two ways, either they say they are definitely ready or they say they don’t want children at all. Now the people that commit with the, “I don’t want children” are usually the ones that get the biggest surprise and are transformed into, ” I want more children!” So what happened to them when they received the greatest gift in the world? The answer is, their hearts were all of the sudden changed and love was allowed to flow through. They put aside their selfishness and now it’s all about the child. These people, most of the time, become some of the greatest parents that there are.

A Mother and Father holding their baby in their laps

What about the people that say they are ready for that first bundle of joy? Well, that’s when you see the ones who are overwhelmed by the gift they have received. These parents are the ones who have read all kinds of books and have set their minds knowing every thing about being a parent before the child has even arrived. The very first thing these parents learn, once the child arrives, is they absolutely know nothing about being a parent. All the books that have been studied, all the hours talking to people about becoming a parent and all the preparations made to the child’s room to make it perfect gets thrown right out the window. “That’s not what the book said would happen!” “How can my child find a way to get hurt after making this room so safe?” Why when I use the rocking chair and soothing music, it’s not putting my baby to sleep like the book said?” These are just examples that I’m throwing out but you will find different things that work with some children but not all children. The simple truth is, all people are different and that little bundle of joy you are holding is, well, a people too!

So we have now looked at both extremes of parents. There are also those that fall in the middle of the two, not quite to one side or the other. So if all children are different, then we must change to take care of our child. This little tiny person is going to change who you are whether you like it or not. This baby will also find ways to surprise you and come up with things to do that you never would have dreamed of in a million years. This little bundle of joy will find ways to drive you close to insanity.

Baby laying on a blanket

So if having children is such a chore and causes you grief as he or she grows and learns new things, why do we want them. Why, oh why after having one, would we want another to drive us even closer to insanity? Some would say it’s nature and that, of course is part of it but the main reason we keep having them? Face it it comes down to love. Love, the emotion that no one can explain. Love, the feeling that makes your heart leap.

It’s okay to change into what your baby needs. The greatest gift in the world requires and deserves this change we all go through. When you are down to your last nerve and your beautiful son or daughter is standing on it, just remember, your parents made it through raising you and that last nerve made it through with them! Your child is part of our future and requires your love to flow and teach them so they can hang on to their last nerve when their baby arrives.

You are now a parent and you are no longer who you were. You are now a new person with a new outlook on life. You are now responsible for the gift you have received. Take charge of the situation. Change what must be changed. And most of all, hold true to the love for your child and he/she will hold their love for you. One day all the stresses your child brought to you will be returned to them and you can watch your child down to that last nerve as you sit back and enjoy it as a grandparent.

Grandmother and grandfather holding their grand babies

Who is ready to be a parent? The answer is no one and everyone. You will not be ready to be a parent until you are one. The day you become a parent, you will find that day, that you are now ready.

I hope you enjoyed reading this piece. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Leave your replies in the comments section below. Until next time, take care, God bless and as always Remember, we are all in this together.

short stories

Change makes us Stronger

      When I was growing up, or at least until I became a sophomore in high school,  I was always the new kid in class. My dad moved us back and forth from Missouri to Arizona multiple times.

       My dad worked for the Railroad and the copper mines as a mechanic in Arizona and when the layoffs or strikes came, boom, we would be headed back to Missouri, where both my mom and dad grew up. He would open up his own auto shop or go to work for another shop (usually a diesel shop) until the strike or layoffs were over. And just like that, back to Arizona we would go.

Mechanic works under car

       Now, truth be known, it wasn’t exactly like that, but very close. Yes, we moved a lot back and forth between these two states, but sometimes it was just to different parts of Arizona or just to different parts of Missouri. This situation would very often cause me to be the new kid in school, sometimes twice in the same year!

      Growing up like this was hard on me, but as I have seen through my life, it was actually a very good thing to grow up that way. Sure it was hard leaving friends that were just made and trying to make friends over and over again, but I  learned that I can, did and do adapt better to circumstances that others have a hard time with even today. I guess the hardest part was figuring out who the new bully would be that I would eventually end up fighting. Of course, I lost most of the time, but I was granted great respect for always standing up for myself and sometimes others as well.

       I consider myself a ‘Missourian’ and yet for the past twenty plus years, I have lived in Arizona after my dad passed away. The thing I’m trying to spit out is, we become part of our society, and those that have lived in multiple societies are better off in a lot of ways. For one, I could be uprooted and placed in a different location tomorrow and within a month, I would be able to fit in.

      I was able to prove this when I went into the Navy. Most of the recruits beside me had a real hard time adjusting, but me, heck it was just another day.  Sure, I missed my family, but I was able to fit into my circumstance very quickly. And the bully? Well, that was my company commander and I decided not to fight him.

Child throwing a fit

       I sometimes feel for the military kids because I know it’s hard on them. Let me tell you moms and dads something about that. If you explain why your family has to move so often, the kids will be stronger for it. If you just tell them, “just deal with it”, then you will have a very troubled teen on your hands. Be honest with your children about it, and they may be mad now but understand later and become well-rounded adults.

      For all other parents that have a choice to move or not move for a job or other circumstance, make sure you make the decision, Not your kids. Too many times the decision is made more by the children than their parents these days and that is wrong. You are responsible to do the best for your family and let your children change things up with their kids if they want when they become parents. (This is classic old school thinking).

Mother sits with her children that are playing

      Before anybody yells at me for that last paragraph, I tell this from experience. I made this mistake!  I made sure to keep my kids with their friends and I decided to stick it out and not take them to a better life and now my children are paying the price, let alone my wife and I are still stuck where we really don’t want to be. Don’t get me wrong,, this is a wonderful area, just not what we want. One of my sons is in the Navy now and instead of adapting like I did, he is one of those having a hard time, and it’s my fault.

U-Haul building

      If I had moved us years ago when I had the chance,  I believe my whole family would be better off today. Instead, I let the children decide. So don’t be afraid to move if you believe it is better for your family.  I’m not saying to be like we were when I grew up, I do believe that was excessive, but I lived through it and would willingly do it all over again.  There’s a great big world out there, don’t be afraid of change.  Change can make you stronger. Your kids will adapt and be just fine. Take care out there.