A Guide to Navigate Through Your Social Circle
Author’s note: I originally wrote this as a guest post a month ago for “Wellbeing Media“. I decided to run the post now, on my site, so all of my readers can read it first hand. Furthermore, I will be adding my own pictures. If you would like to see how the original post was printed, I urge you to visit their site. They also have many other great articles to read. Tap here
We all have them friends that are either toxic, bubbly or blah. Heck, some of us may fit into one of those categories. Actually, it’s very difficult not to fit onto one of those. All three are hard for the “well-adjusted” people to handle. Of course, who is well-adjusted anymore? It’s very difficult to find someone that doesn’t fit into one of these categories, in this day and age. The well-adjusted, or “normal”, would be those that at times can enter into all three of these categories without being stuck into one all the time. The only position the normal people should lean into more is the bubbly crowd.
Let’s talk for a minute about the “blah” person first and work out to the other two extremes from there. The blah person is the one that you may know that is, the most part, very boring. Never showing happiness or sadness and seems to be in the exact same place of life, at any given part of time. These people are the most reliable of the three because they are always found at the same places, at the same time, every day. If you need to talk out your own problems with someone, and just need a sounding board, these are those to seek out. These people have no true opinion, one way or the other. It’s kind of like talking to a mirror. You probably won’t get an answer to your problem from them, but instead, you talk your problem out, and find a solution for yourself. Of course, if you have good news, these are probably not the ones you want to tell it to.
The “toxic” person is the worst type of friend to have. Although toxic, we all have this type of friend, and it’s hard not to keep them. We feel sorry for these people, and are always looking for a way to put a smile on their face (this smile rarely, if ever manifest). These people are always in the dumps and never happy. You could hand a toxic person $1,000,000, and they would think you don’t like them because you didn’t give them $1,000,001. These people could make the happiest person in the world want to give up within five minutes of conversation. Although we always want to help them, a toxic person’s only help is to help themselves. They must change their own attitude towards life, before they will ever be happy. Toxic people will not listen or change for anyone, but themselves. Another way to describe a toxic person is the “Poor ole me Syndrome“. If you are a toxic person, I suggest you read this paragraph again and again until it sinks in!
The “bubbly” person is the rarest of the three, and although sometimes they are too much to handle, these are wonderful people to know. These people bring joy to others and are a blessing to all they meet. Never showing a downside to anything. Bubbly people have a love for life in their hearts and don’t mind sharing with everyone. These people are the only type that can bring a smile to the blah person and make the toxic person feel good, (for a short period of time). Are you a bubbly person? If you are, then you have people wanting to be around you all the time. This may be overwhelming to you sometimes, but don’t quit being who you are, we need more of your kind in the world today.
Lastly, there are, what I like to call the well-adjusted or, “normal” people. These are the vast majority of people on earth today. These people switch between all three at different times. Usually, these people change according to those they are around. If you are one of these, I suggest trying to stay around the blah and bubbly people as much as possible. Try to stay away from the toxic folks if you have a problem with becoming who they are when in their vicinity.
My question for you today is, which type of person are you? Is there a category that you would rather be then where you are now? The change is most definitely possible, however, going from a toxic person to a bubbly person is a huge jump! If you are toxic and want to change, I suggest working on being a blah person first, then working towards bubbly. Going from toxic to bubbly in a single leap might just overload your system, and scare the heck out of those that know you.
I hope this helps in some small way of assisting you in discovery of yourselves. It is possible to change, if you wish to do so. I don’t have a lot of hope for the middle age to elderly people who are toxic, but anything is possible. Take care, my friends and remember, we are all in this together.
4 replies on “Toxic, Bubbly, or Blah”
JMHO, I am a 4th type with a few other tendencies. I have been the helper, as my Mom volunteered me for almost anything her friends needed done and I have carried that on thru my life. Being 70 now I felt a need to scale that back a lot quite a few years back. I felt the need to help/fix ME finally.
I still help some others occasionally. I’m a bit of a loner as well, mainly because I choose to get deeper into my own being and hopefully find the few I really care to be around.
Here is a saying worth a 1000 words. When you follow the crowd you lose yourself, but when you follow your soul you lose the crowd. Eventually your soul tribe will appear, do not fear the process of solitude.
I seem to be enjoying the solitude.
You are a very wise man and I applaud you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.
A lot of people describe me as bubbly or comforting to be around which obviously I don’t mind but I think people need to be aware (at least I have learned myself) to set limits as the toxic people will try to drain you and that is not fun. So recently I appear “normal” until I trust the other person then bubbles all around. 😀
Cristina, you have it figured out, for sure. It’s great to be a bubbly person, but there are those that will resent you for it (toxic people). They will try and take the bubbles away. This must Not be allowed! You keep those bubbles flowing, and don’t let others “pop” them! Great comment. Thank you for reading and replying. Have a bubbly day!