What is a true friend?

I will not be talking about best friends in this article. There are various reasons for this. First off, if you are married, I hope your best friend is your spouse. Other reasons for this is because different people view best friends in different ways. Is this your best friend because you have the same likes or dislikes? Maybe it’s because this person is the one you see most often. Of course age also plays a part in who you consider your best friend. Also many consider a best friend someone whom you have a spiritual connection with. For these reasons and others that can be brought up, I will not put myself into a trap of alot of hate mail over whom your best friend should or shouldn’t be. This post is written solely about true friends.

If you get out of high school with two true friends, you are blessed. Most will graduate high school and later find out, they have one true friend. This friend may have gone to high school with you or maybe not. This has little impact on what a true friend is. Everybody has a different view on what a true friend is. I’m not here trying to change your mind In any way. I am simply presenting what I believe the “true friend” concept to be. We all have friends, but how many of them are true friends?

If you are reading this and are still in high school, you will look around and say you have many true friends. Once you leave high school and continue on your life’s path, you will discover that this is no longer the case. You as well as your friends are changing, growing up and looking for your perfect piece of life on your own. This may be to go into the military, go to college, have a family, stay single or go into the family business. There are way too many things to list. You may look at my list and consider most of these things or none of them. It really doesn’t matter. The main thing is that you are going to follow whatever dream you may have. It is important to also remember that your friends will also be making choices for themselves as well.

This is a huge step into being who you want to be. This is also a time where friendships break down. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get together with old friends but, you will notice a difference that is very hard to explain. The connection is no longer the same as it once was. You may be happy when you see them but, five or more years may fly by without even thinking of them.

Two women, one blonde and one red head with arms around each other looking in the distance
True friends have a special bond

So what is a true friend? True friends have a special bond that is never broken. A true friend is a person that no matter how long it has been, they are still in the back of your mind during these long separations. A true friend is someone you can call when you need help and you know they will do what they can to help you without judgment. A true friend will never talk bad about you to others even when you deserve it. If you have messed up in life, a true friend will be trying to figure out a way to get you back on track again. This friend will not allow others to talk bad about you without defending you at all cost. This kind of friend will tell you the truth when you ask a hard question about your life. This person will back you up to the ends of the earth if necessary.

And there is one more big thing about a true friend. After you have been apart for some time and you see each other again, it will be like nothing ever changed. This is my view of a true friend. You can understand now why I say that if you leave high school with two true friends, you are truly blessed. Thank you for reading and feel free to tell me how you describe a true friend. Take care and Remember, we are all in this together.

I love you but…..

Divorce is happening more often as a percentage not because of growing apart but because of the selfishness of both partners. Neither side of the relationship is willing to grow up and take responsibility. This has caused a trigger in alot of young adults to have babies but never get married. The thought of divorce has caused overwhelming fear of commitment. If you believe in marriage or not, is your business. But without this bond, you are just telling your partner that you don’t love them enough to sign the contract. You never have to say this aloud but mentally, this is what is being picked up. The male will always have in the back of his mind that she will leave him any day now. The female will always believe she is not worthy of him.

Man and woman sitting on couch. Man looking away and woman looking sad
Together without true bond

Another reason, is that the government is pushing people away from getting hitched. It is becoming easier to make a living when the contract isn’t signed. The tax break for being married is weakening and it is much easier to get government help if you don’t have to show that there is a spouse helping with the children. Divorce, in most states, consists of the parents doing their due diligence until the youngest child turns eighteen (in some cases until the child is twenty-one). It is much easier for the partners, if the marriage never exists, depending on state laws, of course.

Young people no longer want to be tied down until death do them part. Of course, if there are children, then the parents will still be attached if they like it or not. But who is it that truly pays for this lack of commitment? The children of course and their children. You have taught your children this is the way to live. We all learn the environment we are in.

Father and mother holding hands with their daughter taking a walk
Your children deserve your commitment

Leaving the door open and not sealing it with the commitment of marriage is just like quitting before you even begin. This is just a way to play house without taking on your responsibilities. Of course you are going to be completely destroyed if your partner cheats on you but without the commitment, are they truly cheating or using this time to expand their horizon? There is no contract to break other than the verbal boyfriend/girlfriend rules. Neither one of you have taken a stand for yourself to be with this one man or woman. You have also decided not to take a stand for your partner or, worse of all, your children.  All you have done is split the bills and hope the other doesn’t do you wrong. At the same time you are telling your partner that you are also looking around, even if you aren’t.

Another way to think about this is, both of you buy a car together or house and both of your names are on the contract. You are betting on each other that both of you will hold up responsibilities of making the payments on said property.  So what both of you have decided is that car or house deserves a contract signed by each of you but neither of you are good enough to have a contract with. I could go on and on about this subject. I choose to leave it as it is because I believe I have given you something to think about. No matter what your religion is or your thoughts of marriage as an institution, don’t your children deserve this commitment in their lives? Your marriage may or may not work out but don’t let the fear hold you back. Take a chance on your beloved and no matter what happens, your children will reap the benefits of your commitment.

Man and woman getting married
True faith and belief in each other

These ideas are truly of my own thinking and not to dismantle anyone who doesn’t agree with me. If I didn’t write what I feel in my heart, then I’m just writing to pass the time. I will never publish anything that I don’t truly believe and feel that it needs to be written. Take care, love one another, step up to the plate and Remember, we are all in this together.

short stories

A simple handshake will do

Do you remember when a handshake was all that was needed? I remember, when I was a kid growing up in Missouri, watching my dad do many business deals with nothing more than a handshake. At the time, it didn’t seem like much of an undertaking.  I mean, everybody in them parts had a contract with someone else and all it was a simple gesture. The only time I remember seeing my dad sign any kind of paperwork for services of any kind was at the car lot or when he signed the banknote for our house.

Why is it now you have to sign your life away to get anything.  I mean, if you have a next door neighbor, and you want to put up a fence on the property line, the first thing that comes up is going down and getting a legal document signed so nobody gets sued. It doesn’t matter if this so-called fence is helping both parties or not.

I remember a neighbor we had come to dad and asked if it was okay to replace a fence in between our farms that had been damaged by a winter storm.  My dad kinda laughed and said, “Now, Jerry, why would you ask a silly question like that? Of course, you can change out that section, and I’ll pay half the cost”. Jerry said,” I just wanted to be respectful “. The next morning, when I dragged myself out of bed, I looked out the window and their Jerry and my dad were working together to replace that section of fence.

It was the same all over the Ozarks, and I’m pretty sure it was everywhere else except maybe the big cities where everyone was uptight all the time living so close to each other with no elbow room.

Nowadays, even in the backwoods, it seems like everybody is so afraid that they are going to be sued over something stupid,  there’s a mountain of paperwork to do with your neighbor just to put up a flag pole on your own property because your neighbors have to look at it.

I want to get back to the time when people trusted one another and not just be neighbors, but be neighborly. When did things change and become so bland? Where did we go wrong? I know part of it is because everything everywhere offends someone somewhere. But, I don’t think that’s the whole problem, even though it is a big part of it. I’m concerned about this great mistrust of one another that has gripped society today.

White man and black man shaking hands in the woods

It used to be a handshake was a man’s bond, now it means little to nothing.  It is really sad how far we have regressed as humans. Wait long enough and clothes, music and other such things come back into style again. Let’s bring back trust in our fellow man and make a handshake a man’s bond once more. It’s bad enough we can’t get countries to get along, but when we can’t even get along with our own countrymen, something is truly amiss.

I know I bounced around a lot in this post, but if you really look at what is happening out there, this is all tied together. We better figure it out soon because it isn’t looking good. Take care of yourselves and your neighbors. We all have to work together before it completely falls apart. The sad part is we are barely holding on by a thread now. Remember, we are all in this together.