Tag: friend

My enemy? Not as far as you know

     I have not truly had someone to call my enemy in many years now. I treat everyone that I meet the same as anyone else. There is an old saying that says, “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” I learned a long time ago that the best way to achieve this is to not have enemies in the first place. This is easier than you think to accomplish.
I am now in my fifties and have met many people throughout my life. If you were to ask anyone of those, you would hear the same thing over and over, “Oh, that Billy and I have always been good friends.” This in some cases maybe true but in a lot of cases, just plain fluff! The difference is, I know whom I consider my friend and whom I don’t. The other person has no idea which side of the isle they actually occupy unless I allow it to be known. This has been a strategic ploy that I have laid out over several years.

Four friends laughing together

  Why, you may ask, should I keep my feelings to myself when it comes to the other person? It’s simple really, with the ones that I don’t like not knowing, I have no one that will ever become my enemy. That is unless they were to do something so drastic, that I would have to let them in on my little secret. Without an enemy, I have no drama to deal with and I can just go about my way. I make sure the people, that I truly do think of as friends, know without a doubt that they are my friends. The funny part is, even my closest friends have no idea of anyone that I don’t like. I never talk ill of anyone unless, like I said before, they do something so bad, I cannot keep my secret about how I really feel.

     The main way to find out if you are on the wrong side of the isle with me is to cause harm to someone in my immediate family or a very close friend. In that case, you would find out very quickly that you are on my bad side.
After putting this ploy into affect, going on twenty years now, my life has become so much simpler. I no longer have to wander if someone is talking bad about me behind my back because I give them no reason to. Of course there are always those that cannot say anything good about anyone. Those people are surprised when they find out, I just laugh it off as though they were joking all along. The truth of the matter is, I am just jotting it down in my memory to possibly pull out if and when it is ever needed. I may get mad at this person for the comments they have made but they will never know how I truly feel.

   Basically what this comes down to is another old saying, “If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Granted, I do take this one a step farther. I may mind but will not give said person the satisfaction of knowing so. My belief carries a slightly different approach. If someone is talking bad about me and I don’t acknowledge the hurt they have caused, then the saying should be, “If I don’t mind it’s because they don’t matter.”

    I think if more people would put my philosophy into effect, there would be a lot less hurt in the world. I hope this post has touched your heart and helped you along your way through life. Take care and Remember, we are all in this together.

What is a true friend?

I will not be talking about best friends in this article. There are various reasons for this. First off, if you are married, I hope your best friend is your spouse. Other reasons for this is because different people view best friends in different ways. Is this your best friend because you have the same likes or dislikes? Maybe it’s because this person is the one you see most often. Of course age also plays a part in who you consider your best friend. Also many consider a best friend someone whom you have a spiritual connection with. For these reasons and others that can be brought up, I will not put myself into a trap of alot of hate mail over whom your best friend should or shouldn’t be. This post is written solely about true friends.

If you get out of high school with two true friends, you are blessed. Most will graduate high school and later find out, they have one true friend. This friend may have gone to high school with you or maybe not. This has little impact on what a true friend is. Everybody has a different view on what a true friend is. I’m not here trying to change your mind In any way. I am simply presenting what I believe the “true friend” concept to be. We all have friends, but how many of them are true friends?

If you are reading this and are still in high school, you will look around and say you have many true friends. Once you leave high school and continue on your life’s path, you will discover that this is no longer the case. You as well as your friends are changing, growing up and looking for your perfect piece of life on your own. This may be to go into the military, go to college, have a family, stay single or go into the family business. There are way too many things to list. You may look at my list and consider most of these things or none of them. It really doesn’t matter. The main thing is that you are going to follow whatever dream you may have. It is important to also remember that your friends will also be making choices for themselves as well.

This is a huge step into being who you want to be. This is also a time where friendships break down. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get together with old friends but, you will notice a difference that is very hard to explain. The connection is no longer the same as it once was. You may be happy when you see them but, five or more years may fly by without even thinking of them.

Two women, one blonde and one red head with arms around each other looking in the distance
True friends have a special bond

So what is a true friend? True friends have a special bond that is never broken. A true friend is a person that no matter how long it has been, they are still in the back of your mind during these long separations. A true friend is someone you can call when you need help and you know they will do what they can to help you without judgment. A true friend will never talk bad about you to others even when you deserve it. If you have messed up in life, a true friend will be trying to figure out a way to get you back on track again. This friend will not allow others to talk bad about you without defending you at all cost. This kind of friend will tell you the truth when you ask a hard question about your life. This person will back you up to the ends of the earth if necessary.

And there is one more big thing about a true friend. After you have been apart for some time and you see each other again, it will be like nothing ever changed. This is my view of a true friend. You can understand now why I say that if you leave high school with two true friends, you are truly blessed. Thank you for reading and feel free to tell me how you describe a true friend. Take care and Remember, we are all in this together.