Good person (after dead)

I’m going to write about something that I have always had a problem with. Why is it, no matter what kind of person he or she was, people always say the one that died was a good person? Maybe it is proper during the funeral for the families sake but, if this is so and you don’t think this was a good person in life, then why are you at the funeral to begin with?

Tombstones at cemetery

How about the people that worked with said individual and knew they were a horrible person? When they hear of this person passing away, they always say they will be missed and what a great person he or she was. “Oh, it’s so sad that James passed away. I remember the time he waved at me and smiled.” Well, you knew him for forty years, I hope you can remember the one time he smiled and waved to you. Let’s face it, he was a horrible person in life and death only helps because you don’t have to deal with him anymore.

Maybe people say how great a person you were after you die just for their own peace of mind. Maybe there is more to it. Just possibly it’s because we see ourselves in that coffin and don’t want anyone to talk bad about us when it’s our turn. There are alot of theories out there but, I haven’t heard anyone trying to figure it out. I can say, if you plan on attending my funeral, you best speak truth. If you feel I was a terrible person, don’t hold back. Tell it like it is! I will have more respect for you if you tell the truth rather than lie to everyone.

One thing I will say is, once I’m gone, it doesn’t matter anymore. If I was a horrible person in life, then that is what I should be remembered for. If you feel like you need to say something but can’t think of anything nice without lying, then just say that I was what I was and leave it at that. Either show up at my funeral and speak the truth, be quiet or don’t show up at all.

Lady consoles another at funeral.

One thing I will say on this subject that does throw a wrench into matters is if you are related to the dead person. Sometimes we are required to show up at funerals and show our respect just because we are family. If we tell what a horrible person he or she was or if we don’t show up, we may be black balled by the rest of the family. This is the only excuse there is that is reasonable for a lie.

I will put this in print so if you need to, you can show the family members that I have given you permission not to show up or to tell exactly how you feel about me. Make sure you print this post so you have a record of it if you feel it may come in handy.

I wrote this post just to cause a question to be asked and answered. Why are people always good after they die? Can you answer this question? I look forward to your thoughts. Take care out there and Remember, we are all in this together.

Don’t want to know? Don’t ask!

If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask! I have lived by this sentence for many years and it has served me well. I have always tried to be honest, but others feelings tend to lead to small lies (white lies as some call them). If I’m to be a truthful person, how can I tell even the smallest of lies and keep credibility? Even if I am trying not to offend someone, a lie is still a lie. It doesn’t matter how small the lie, if I’m telling it, that makes me a lier.

So how am I supposed to tell my boss at work the truth about a situation when he wants a certain answer but this isn’t the truth? I decided to incorporate into my language a short sentence that has helped me keep a solid reputation as a truthful person. “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask.” This allows the other person to choose whether they really want the truth or not be told. Everyone that knows me, knows I give my honest opinion. I hold nothing back. I have used this many times with my work supervisors, friends, family and even with enemies. But, never ever with my wife!

There are always the questions you may be asked, that requires a variation of what the truth is. Not a lie, but not the first thing that comes to your mind. Here is an example of a trap that all men are stuck dealing with a girlfriend or wife. “Honey, do these pants make me look fat?” In this instance, one cannot use the sentence I have described above unless you have a death wish! Also you cannot necessarily say what comes to mind at first. Here is an example, “Well, if you want to look like a hippopotamus on swan lake, it’s great!” This too is a death sentence! So the best way to answer this question would be to think of something she has worn before that you really liked and go with that. This answer would be something like “Honestly, I really liked that stripe pair of pants you had on the other day.”

Hippopotamus in water
Well. Dear you look….

Now guys, let’s face it, unless you want to lie to your bride, it doesn’t matter what you say, it is going to be wrong. On the other hand, she will appreciate that you didn’t just lie to her. You found a way to get out of lying and still make her feel as beautiful as you know she is.

Ladies, your men see you as lovely and beautiful as they have always seen you. If you ask your man to answer a question like the one above, then you are asking him to look through another’s eyes. Once you do this, you have set your man up for a fall, because no matter how beautiful you look, you aren’t worried about how men see you, you are worried about how other women see you. Let’s be truthful, if women think you look good, then you know men do too.

So using the sentence I have suggested does work with bosses, fellow workers, family and friends as well with enemies. However, this helpful sentence is never to be used with your significant other, unless you really are ready for a knock down, drag out fight and possibly death of a relationship.

I have tried to make this as enjoyable as I can while still getting my message across. It is true what I have said about using this made up sentence. It has worked for me over and over again. Once someone decides that they do want your opinion, (truth as you see it) they may get angry but, they have no reason to be angry with you because they were warned.

Notebook with thoughts written on the cover
What are your thoughts?

I would love to hear your thoughts about what this post is about. Let me know if you have tried this sentence and if it has worked for you. Also, let me know if using my ideas while answering your spouses impossible questions has helped. Ladies, am I wrong about what I said when looking good for other women is important? I look forward to your responses. Take care out there and Remember, we are all in this together.