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Fantasy vs Reality

The fastest way to get over a fantasy is with a dose of reality. This can be good or bad depending on the circumstances. An example of the bad is with a marriage starting with a fantasy and then real life hits you in the face. You realize that marriage is hard and love must be present for it to work. Just because your partner likes what you like or is good looking does not equal love. Alot of divorces come about because fantasies were started but love was left out. Of course there is the ultimate betrayal of one partner leaving a love for a fantasy.

Man and woman kissing in a dream

We all have our fantasies but, are they beyond what we should imagine? A child’s fantasies are a part of growing up and it can determine how far we go in life. If you see a child playing with a toy fire engine, he is probably saving lives and becoming a hero in his mind. The same child picks up his daddy’s cigarettes and the fantasy can become harmful in later years.

An adult who has fantasies about a co-worker can have a hard time focusing on his or her job. These same fantasies can also create a unemployment status for this person, if not a lawsuit for stalking.

Man and woman looking at each other in a fantasy setting

So when are fantasies a good thing and when do they cause harm? Most fantasies come upon us without much thought put into them. The important thing is to monitor these fantasies and ask ourselves the important question, “Is this fantasy going to cause harm to me or others?”

Fantasies are different then dreams, we have little control what we dream about in our sleep but, we do have complete control to stop a fantasy in its tracks. Fantasies are normal and you are not weird for having such thoughts in your life. How far you take them is up to you and carrying a fantasy too far can cause a tremendous amount of problems for you and others.

Don’t be afraid when a fantasy comes upon you. Just remember, you are in control of it. Have you heard the saying, “that person is living in a fantasy world?” You must be very careful in using such a sentence because their is a distinct difference between someone who fantasizes to someone who is a dreamer. A dreamer is thinking on something to better their lives while fantasy is usually a fairy tale.

Fire engine

Do you remember the boy playing with the fire engine? This may start as a fantasy and end up being his dream. I myself started at a young age with a fantasy of driving the big haul trucks in a mine. This fantasy turned into a dream of mine and later in life became a reality for me. These are good fantasies. I have also had fantasies of women I have known and I have had to shut them thoughts down because they were going to cause bad things to happen in my future. These are bad fantasies and need to be put to rest as soon as possible before a problem arises.

I hope you are catching what I am pitching. You are in control of you. Even though thoughts may come to you, you have the ability to continue to focus on them or completely destroy them in your mind. Please be careful of how you allow your mind to wander. Take care my friends and Remember, we are all in this together.

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Suicide, the selfish way out

One thing that can’t be forgiven is suicide. This is the ultimate selfish end to everyone that loves you. You have taken every aspect of good and forced heartache into all that know you. This is a heartache that does not go away. It is a stain on all of your loved ones. When someone dies in an accident, tragedy, or from natural causes, there is a time of mourning, but as time goes by the healing will begin for the loved ones. When someone takes their own life, the healing cannot and will not ever be there for the loved ones. There will be a hurt that will never ease in any way.

Lady stepping off ledge

People will look into the life of a suicide and say things that try to make sense of it. Well, he or she had a lot of problems. He or she was a very sad person. He or she needed help and couldn’t find it. These are responses of the living trying to find any kind of peace for themselves. Actually, none of these reasons warrant the taking of your life and I will tell you why. If you open your eyes and look around, there is always someone that has it worse than you, and they are making things work. These people will live a miserable life if they have to, just so they don’t bring the pain to others. These people will also find the solution to their problems. They will gain strength in their struggles and will see how much better off they are for the hardships they have been through. Those who soldiered on will see how selfish, weak and cowardly those that take their own lives are.

Support group with one female hugging another

I want you to know right now, there is help. Don’t give up! Don’t force the pain you are feeling onto others because you are having a hard time. Seek help now! Don’t wait until tomorrow. You know where you are with your feelings. You may not think that there is anybody that cares for you, but you are dead wrong. Furthermore, you are reading an article right now of someone who cares. There are also others reading this and want to help you. We may not know your name, but we care and are willing to listen to you. I am willing to talk with you and get to know you. I will listen to your problems and help you see a different way.

Give me and others a chance before you do something that you can’t take back or be forgiven for. You can respond to this post or contact me directly at joinme@readcsi.com. If you wish to be even more private, let me know, and I will be more than happy to give you my personal email. I truly believe that you can change your way of thinking and see a better future. If you are a teenager or someone who would like to hear a new perspective through a teenager’s eyes, I suggest checking out my daughter’s site. I am so proud of her and her friend reaching out to other teenagers to help with the hurt so many are going through. You can find them on Instagram @brettzoid. If anyone reading this post would like to add their thoughts, I welcome you to reply below. Together we can make a difference and help someone in need.

Writing on blackboard "Here To Help"

If you have read any of my post before, you will notice that I try to end my post with a small sentence that really hits home with not only myself but with others as well. I will end this here, and I will keep an eye on my email for your thoughts and questions. I look forward to talking with you. Take care, think of others as well as yourself and remember, we are all in this together.

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How do others see you?

      How am I seen by others”? I think a better question is “How do I see myself”? Have you ever just studied yourself in the mirror? Don’t lie, we all have. The outer appearance you possess is not what I’m talking about. It’s your inner self that matters. 

Woman studying herself in a mirror

Think about this, we are all different. Who made the determination of who is good-looking and who is not? Look back through history and what was considered good-looking say 100 years ago, and it doesn’t match what is today. But, your inner self? A good person on the inside is the same today as he or she was 100, a 1000 or even more years ago. Our values may have changed  (whether for the better or for the worse, you can decide). What I’m trying to get you to understand is, it’s more important to have inner beauty than outer beauty.

A good person at heart will make more of a positive¬† influence on someone than a beautiful outer person with a rotten core. I’m not saying that outer beauty is bad, I’m saying inner beauty is more important. Not only will people come to adore who you are, but you will feel better about yourself. Take Care of yourselves. Until next time…¬†Remember, we are all in this together.