Who’s helping me?

“Who’s going to help me this time?” Have you ever said or thought this way? Maybe the answer is simpler than you think. Everyone needs help sometimes but getting it can be a dangerous thing. Maybe you are taking this ‘help me’ attitude thing too far.

Have you ever thought maybe you should be the one to help you? Maybe others are busy helping themselves or others. Maybe if you work hard enough and use some brain power, you can get all the help you need by yourself?

To some people this sounds really mean and unsympathetic but this is the truth. The more help you receive, the more it becomes a habit. This my friends is a habit I hope to help you break.

My two sons are quite a bit older than my two youngest daughters. There are ten plus years difference from boys to girls. When the oldest of these two girls was just learning to walk, it took her longer than usual. This is because my boys found it easier to pick her up and carry her everywhere instead of letting her learn to walk. She found that all she had to do was cry a little and one of the boys would go pick her up and carry her to wherever it was she wanted to go. She got used to getting help and found it easier than doing the work of learning to walk herself. This is one classic example.

Screaming kid with hands outstretched

Here is another example of a younger child learning how to get things the easy way. If the child is used to getting a toy anytime they cry for it in the store, guess what happens next time the child is in the store? You guessed it, there will be crocodile tears running down the young ones face. This child has figured out it is easier to cry and throw a fit to get what he or she wants instead of  doing the work of behaving his or herself.

Now I just used two different instances with children, but what about adults? Sorry but there’s not alot of difference between the two. If an adult gets used to, let’s say the government doing everything for him or her, guess what happens? Once again, you are correct. Why go to work if the government is going to pay you to stay home? I’m not saying that if you need the assistance, you shouldn’t take it, but living on it through generations is just not right unless you absolutely can’t work due to a handicap that makes work impossible.

Here is another example that happened to me when I was a truck driver. I had just pulled into the parking lot of a small truck stop outside of Houston Texas. I was going to be there all night because my load wasn’t going to be ready until the next morning. There was a small restaurant and I decided to go have dinner. The restaurant turned out to be a all you can eat smorgasbord, so I was full when I left. When I walked out the door, there was a man begging for change. This man was dirty and looked like he hadn’t had a decent meal in quite a while.

I decided I wanted to help this man and figured the first thing to do was get some food in his belly. I told him I would take him into the restaurant and get him some food. I told him it was a smorgasbord and he could eat all he wanted.  He told me they wouldn’t let him in. I said “They aren’t going to stop him because I was going with him.” He said, “Just give me some change and I’ll be on my way.” I said “No, let’s go get you some food.” He refused, so I headed back to my truck and started catching up on some paperwork.

Homeless man laying in a box

It was probably an hour later when I seen this same half starved man sitting against the wall with a bottle of cheap wine he was guzzling. Apparently,  someone else had given him the change he was looking for. Disgusted, I climbed out of my truck and walked over to him. I addressed him and asked if he was happy with his decision. He looked me dead in the eye and said that someone else had answered his request. I then explained that if he would’ve taken me up on my offer, not only would he have a full belly, but I would’ve bought him a better bottle of wine  and put him up for the night at the motel across the street. Then I turned and walked back to my truck and went to sleep.

Everything I told this man was true, I had every intention to do just what I told him but he chose to stick with the change and cheap booze. I understand he was an alcoholic and I felt sad but I stuck to my guns. I hope next time, he thinks twice about turning down a meal. He chose the easy hand out instead of the full blown help not because he was a drunk but because he had gotten used to the change game.

Handouts can be useful if one really needs it, but don’t let it become your goal in life. If you do, there is no way but down and being keep down. Take some pride in yourself and achieve the help you need by yourself. Don’t be afraid to step up and step out into the world. I believe in you and I want you to believe in you. Until next time, take care and Remember, we are all in this together.