When all is lost, you’ve looked amiss

Ever have that feeling that all is lost and there’s nothing you can do to fix said situation? Well, if you haven’t, you either aren’t human or you haven’t done anything at all your whole existence.

How is it that some can jump right back on the horse, yet others can only huddle in a corner, feeling desperation creeping in with every tick of the clock? Where do these people come from that always find the good in all situations? Do these people have some form of supernatural powers, we don’t know about? And if they do, why are they keeping their powers a secret when so many others are struggling? These are questions that even the most level-headed people have asked themselves at some point in their life.

Man sitting on floor with hands on his head showing despair.

If you feel that the whole world is coming down around your ears and cannot see anyway that things can get any worse, I have some sad news. If you are feeling this kind of pain, you are keeping it from getting any better. Hard truths are hard to believe until we want to see things change for the better. Negative thinking brings negative things to come to pass. You must change your thoughts before things can get better! In this post, I will attempt to help you out of your negative world and into a more positive outlook on life. Many people may have tried to help you before without success, this is because you have not been willing to listen or accept what I am going to share with you today.

When you smash your finger, does it hurt more before or after you say ouch? Stupid question, I think not. The way we treat any situation has its own form of therapy to the situation at hand. If we convince ourselves of something, i.g pain, we will feel more of it. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt, but the way we react to it determines how much we will put up with. This is called human conditioning. From the time we are born until the time we die, we are being conditioned either by the world outside or what is within ourselves. Our body is set up to feel pain, so we know when to remove ourselves from a given situation. If we didn’t feel pain when we touched that hot burner on the stove, we wouldn’t know to remove our hand before the smoke detector told us our hand had just become well done. Pulling away is our body’s way of reacting to what the hand is telling the brain. So we pull away, grasp our hand and head to the sink to run cool water on it. Once the pain eases a little, we inspect our hand then put something on it. This usually consists of maybe some burn ointment and a bandage. But wait, I missed a step. What about the step to yell ouch? This is where our conditioning comes in.

Toddler leaning against her crib, crying.

We are not taught to cry or to grasp our hurt hand. These are natural responses by the body during pain, however we are taught to yell ouch, kick, cuss, scream and run around in circles waving our hurt hand around before doing what is best for us, which in the burn case would be to put cool water on it. How do we learn these other things? By watching the grown-ups reaction when they get hurt or see their child get hurt. This usually starts between nine and eighteen months old. I know that you don’t believe me right now, but just give me a little more time to change your mind. When a child first starts walking, what is the number one thing that’s going to happen? If you said, they will fall down, then you are absolutely correct! What is the second thing that happens? If you said the child will cry, you have maybe mistaken.

Ninety percent of the time, the child will first look around to see if Mom’s watching. If the child doesn’t see Mom, more than likely the child will just get back up and try the walking thing again without the slightest tear being squeezed out. If the Mother runs to her baby, picks him or her up, the waterworks and screaming will begin. Most parents learn this by the time the second child comes along. With the first child it’s run and pick up the child, with the second it’s turn your back before the child sees you looking. You may want to run over, but you have learned the fine art of parenting. This is why the second child is tougher than the first. Let me insert a sentence here now before J get lynched. I’m Not saying to not take care of your child. I’m saying to learn when the child is hurt or when the child just got a bump on the rump by the six-inch drop to the bum. And of course, your precious little toddler has three inches already taken care of by the huge diaper padding he or she has covered that little bum. All you first time parents calm down and before torching my house, read on, and you may learn something. You can get mad all you want, but when that second child comes around, make sure to write me. You can tell me you didn’t change anything raising the second child after you raised your first little bundle of joy.

I guess you noticed by now how I jumped from having the world falling down as an adult to a small bump on the rump of your toddler. Believe it or not, this is not because I’ve been drinking. This is how this post is supposed to be written. I wanted to take you to a place and a time when we wanted to help the little one, to the time when we learned to hold our breath and not run to the child. Now we will get back to the time where your world is falling down around your ears as an adult.

As adults, we have more responsibilities and have already been conditioned all our lives how to react to pain. This is not just for physical pain, but mental pain as well. Once again, I must insert a small sentence here. I am Not saying that people with mental health problems are because of conditioning! I am only talking about people in perfect mental health and causing things to be worse than need be. Furthermore, I don’t need you highly educated doctors giving me the “What to be and Where for’s” about it. Taking us way back to the beginning of the post, there are people that tend to breeze right through the struggle in life. Do they have superpowers and if so, why don’t they share their secret with us? I am now going to answer that question for you. Are you ready? Do you really want to know? Okay, here goes nothing and yet everything in one simple step. Their superpower is within their own minds. They have decided to think positive instead of following the negative worldly conditioning.

Woman with hands on her shoulders, smiling with great pleasure

These people will succeed in the hardest of times because they refuse to let the conditioning control them. It’s as simple as that. I applaud these people for standing on their own two feet, getting done what needs to be done, and refusing to run around waving that burnt hand yelling “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” This goes for their mental state as well. I challenge you to tell one of these people that they can’t do something! Then stand back and watch them figure out a way to accomplish it. These people won’t be poor, or if they are now, they won’t be for long. These people have decided to live above the conditioning. I say bravo!!!

As always, I welcome all comments. I do monitor them, but only to keep this a family oriented blog. As long as you don’t use cuss words or get off-topic, your comment will be posted for all to read. If you want to cuss and or get off-topic, please email me and I will get back to you that way. I want to wish each one of you God’s blessings. Take care, my friends, and don’t forget to sign up for my emails. Might as well, it’s free!!!

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short stories

Do you have a kind spirit?

Are you a kind person? Do you care about others as much or more than yourself? Are you the most important person in the room and see others as beneath your superiority? These are questions that if you are not asking yourself, maybe you should.

Everyone on this planet is different.  There are no two people exactly alike. Even identical twins are not identical in spirit and observe their selves and others differently. My question to you is not only are you a kind person, but how do we know if someone else is truly kind? You have to determine you for yourself. As far as others, there are two sure fire ways I know if someone is truly a kind individual.

Number one is the reaction of a small child around this person. Now, I don’t mean when the child is acting shy or maybe even cautious of this other person because the child doesn’t know him or her. Most children will show both of these emotions to anyone they don’t know yet.  However, if you watch the child, you can tell a lot about this other person. A kind person will still draw the child’s curiosity. He or she may be hugged up to mom or dad’s leg, but still want to take glimpses of this new person.

If this stranger doesn’t have a kind spirit,  the child will never take another look. Instead, the little one will grip mom or dad’s leg as tight as possible, hiding their face in the parent’s leg and never even attempt to take another peek.

Small blonde child walking in back yard

How can a small child have these strong feelings at such a young age? This is because this little person has yet to be damaged by society.  You heard me right! Let’s put the child at say four years or younger, depending on when they start school. The child is still living by instinct. Once they go to school, things change. The child is forced to deal with all kinds of different people and to learn to get along and accept others no matter what. I’m not talking about race or handicaps or stuff like that because the child hasn’t been introduced to any such feelings just yet. I’m talking about kind and unkind people and trusting in both the same.

Once in school, usually starting first grade, society has started to take hold and instinct is starting to be less involved. If the parents are not on top of these new emotions, then society will take its hold and instinct will start to wither away. This will be the first start of bad thoughts of others because of differences like race, religion, mental abilities, athletic abilities, clothing  or any other Stupid reason not to like someone else for. However,  they will lose the ability to look out for the one thing they should be watching for, and that is someone that may really harm them. Society has now started taking over!

This is what sets humans apart from animals. No matter how old an animal gets, instinct is still there. We as humans tend to overlook our instincts and that is why a lot of humans tend to get into dangerous situations without even seeing it coming.

The second way I know if someone I’m talking to is kind or not is by watching my dog. Of course, a dog is going to protect his master no matter what. But if you really know your dog, you can tell when something is really not right. No matter how well-trained your dog is, he will advise you when something is wrong, even if he is going to get in trouble for it. Your dog is not only your protector but also and sometimes more importantly, your advisor of danger.

Golden retriever sitting, looking straight ahead

They say a dog can smell fear. I truly believe this to be fact. I also believe a dog can smell or sense a kind or unkind spirit in a person. If you are an unkind person and have a dog, the dog will protect you because they are so loyal. However, the dog will also be leery of you and never completely trust you.

So there it is. Are you a kind spirited person or not? If you’re not sure, watch a child or dog. They will let you know the truth about you! Until next time, be kind to yourself and others.