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short stories

The Challenge of Raising Children

Brothers and Sisters, Brothers and Brothers, or Sisters and Sisters, close enough in teenage years, and let the wars begin. Who is right or who is wrong does not matter. The casualties of these wars are parents. Early gray hair and shaking hands are what parents have to look forward to. Oh, the joys of having children! And, Lord help me; I would not give my children up for the world.

Three young brothers, all about the same age, play together

It always looks like a good idea, at the time, to have our children close in age. This way, your child will have a playmate to grow up with. Right? We also see it as a good idea to have our children at an earlier age, so we will not be quite as up in age when they are out of the house on their own. We realize that our parents give us advice, but they are old and probably do not know anything about how things are done in this day and age. (I see a lot of head nodding and hear a lot of laughter from the older folks out there, right now).

Let us say you have two children in your early twenties that are eighteen months apart. You have set yourself up to have them raised and on their own by the time you hit your mid-forties. You and your spouse can enjoy your later years before entering the retirement age. Well, it may seem to be a smart plan, but it is not necessarily a good idea at all. You and your spouse have not had the time yet to mature as much as you need to be parents. This is not meant to be a slam on you, but there is a lot of truth to it. If you wait until you both are in your thirties to have children, there is a better chance that you will be better prepared for what is about to happen in your lives.

Children turn your lives upside down in ways that are never expected, and are different with every set of parents. The unexpected becomes your norm! If you believe that you know what it is like to have kids, and you do not have any yet, lord help you. You are about to be educated in ways you could never dream of. You think school was hard to get through; welcome to true schooling! The adventures you will go through with these brighteyed little ones are a joy, but also a wake-up call to even the strongest, most levelheaded parents alive.

Reading parent guide books can give you simple solutions to try with your children. You will not find solutions to all the problems you will face as a parent in these books. There will be times when you will have to come up with solutions for your child’s life on your own. You will face problems that have never been written by any author of any book. At times children will send you into the Twilight Zone, pushing every one of your buttons. You are being tested by the best! These angels will at some point become the little monsters you have seen in other children. How about that child yelling at the top of his lungs in the store because he did not get a toy? You will at times, hear people murmur, “They need to teach their children better”. Could you be this parent talked about one day? If you are mentally able enough to handle this once in a while, you are well on your way to having well-behaved children. If you let your little darlings run over you one time, you are in for a long road. This road will lead you into a disaster zone called “The Ultimate Teenager“!

All teenagers are, to put it nicely, a nightmare! If you think your children will be the same lovable creatures when they hit the “Teenage Zone” as they are; now, you are in for the ride of a lifetime! You will swear this cannot be your child. Parents that believe it is easier to raise children close in age will be hit with the double feature of nightmares.

As a parent, you will learn how mentally stable you are. Children will take you to the edge of your sanity and then push harder. This is all in the growing phase for the child as well as the parents. I have heard said, You pay for your sins with your children. This is a distressing reference, but it does hold some truth. You will start to understand the pain your parents went through with you. You will appreciate your parents more. This is the circle of life.

You are a legal adult by age, but you become a grown-up when your first child arrives. You believe you can do a better job than your parents did. This in some cases is true, but for most of us, it is a wake-up call about the wonderful job our parents did to raise us.

Grandparents enjoying each other's company with no children in sight.

How can a grandparent enjoy a child more than the parents? Now, I am a grandparent, and it is becoming clearer to me why this is. I am now going to lay this secret out for you. Grandparents enjoy their grandchildren because once the visit is over, the children go back home! Grandparents are on cloud nine watching as their own children go through child raising struggles. Your parents tried to teach you. Well, now it is your turn! You will find yourself acting the same as your parents did with you. You will finally know the nightmare you put them through.

You will start looking forward to the day that you and your spouse can have your home all to yourselves. Your parents will ask you, “Do you remember when we told you to wait to have children and not rush into it?” They will laugh when you answer, “No.” They will always be there for you, as you will be with your children. However, the advice for you will only come when you ask for it. No longer are your parents bound to raise you. They tried their best with you, and now get to sit back and watch how their teachings took hold. Yes, your parents made mistakes, and yes, you will too!

Parents have the hardest job known to the human race! We do not understand this until we become parents ourselves. You may look at the way other parents raise their children and try to follow them. This will help in some ways to give you a starting point. However, children need unique teaching designs set for their understanding. Parents with multiple children understand this. Although you love each child with the fullness of your heart, you will find your love different for each of them. This is the awesome thing about love, it can expand in as many ways as is needed. If you do not think so, just talk to parents who have four, five, six kids or more. They will tell you they love all their children, but in different ways for each one. Because of this, I believe the definition of love should be a bunch of question marks expanding into the unknown.

Young boy at the table with his family, holding hands for prayer before dinner.

Children are a blessing from the good Lord above. Children may bring you closer to God as you cry out for his help. Be patient with your children and allow them to go through the different phases of life. This will help your offspring to become well-rounded adults. Disciplining your children is showing the love you have for them to grow up to be the good people they can be. Allowing your children to “run the show” is telling them you do not care how they turn out in life. A respectful adult comes from the years of love and training given by their parents. There is no magic formula for raising your children, but you must do the best you can for them, as your parents did for you.

Children are hard to raise. They, at times, will have you wondering if there is a grand solution to raising children. The only thing I can tell you is, do not rush into having them, and love them no matter how crazy things may seem. I hope in some way this helps. If you are a teenager reading this, try to take it easy on your parents. They are doing their best for you. Take care, my friends, and do not forget to follow me. Remember, we are all in this together.

Categories
extras short stories

It’s official!! CSI Flipside is now available. Go to csi-extras.com to read the first story of many that I will start putting up. Let me know what you think. These stories will fall into different genres as my brain comes up with them. I hope to see you there!

Categories
short stories

What kinds of situations are you willing to put up with to call a place home?

     Depending on what you are willing to put up with, will determine where you want to live and call your home.

      As I write this, I am thinking of the different states within the United States of America as those I will be discussing. However, this post can be used anywhere in the world. We all have our breaking points, which will move us from one place to another.

Saguaro cacti in Arizona desert
Looks like my backyard

      I currently live in Arizona, which has its beautiful along with its dangers. When someone thinks of this state, the first thing that comes to mind is heat. However, if you were to travel in northern Arizona, such as Flagstaff, in the winter months, you may be surprised by the massive amounts of snow you’d encounter. I, myself, reside in the middle of this great state and see cool winters, but still very high temperatures in summer. There are also many other dangers, these come in forms of rattlesnakes, scorpions, Gila monsters, and many other poisonous things. Cacti are also very troublesome to put up with. Speaking of cacti, this is the only place in the world where the giant saguaros live. So if you are willing to put up with the various dangers here, you will be given beautiful landscapes, awesome lightning shows, and of course, sunshine with clear skies most of the year.

       Another place I have lived is in the Midwest, in the state of Missouri, where I spent many years of my youth. This is a beautiful state, full of farm land, lakes, rivers and woods. Here, you will have wonderful fishing and hunting opportunities. You can easily live off the land since water is abundant, and growing your own food in the fertile land is fairly easy. Raising your own livestock is also a plus, with the grasslands for your cattle and other farm animals is easily found. The downside to this great countryside comes in the form of high humidity in the summer and hard freezes in the winter. It is a well known place to carry a sweater, light jacket, raincoat and heavy coat most of the wintertime. The weather can change rapidly, and being prepared is sometimes a challenge.

Missouri River in Missouri
Missouri River

       North Carolina is a place I lived during my time in the Navy. While it is an absolutely beautiful state, hard freezes and hurricane weather is something that may keep you from this state. Some of the friendliest people I have ever met, live here. The hunting is absolutely wonderful and fishing is great as well. The winters are fairly hard, and wet weather is an understatement. This state has very fertile land for growing whatever you wish in your garden. You can also live near the Atlantic Ocean, with some beautiful beaches to enjoy. If you are willing to deal with the harsh winters and hard rains here, you have found one of my favorite states.

Forest trees in the fall, North Carolina
Fall in North Carolina

      Virginia is an interesting state with abundant historical American sites of the Civil War. Many other states have places to see involved with this war, but Virginia stands out in this category.  This state also has many woods as well as beaches to enjoy. The weather is much like North Carolina, with fairly hard winters and hurricane weather to put up with. Furthermore, this state contains the military city of Norfolk. While other states contain military cities, this one stands out as one of the greatest. I was stationed there and can honestly say, if you are not military, you are of the few, not the many in this city.

Welcome highway sign entering Virginia
Welcome to Virginia

      I, personally, have been to every state of the United States, except two. These two states are Alaska and Hawaii. I would like to visit both of these states before I die. I have only lived in a few, but have traveled through many, forty-eight, to be exact. One thing I have noticed is the difference from state to state. It amazes me how much difference there can be, just by crossing an invisible line from one to the other. We can freely move from one state to the other and live  as though we have always been there. The language may be the same, but accents can be extreme from one state to the other. All in all, we are Americans. We stand as one with completely different ways of life. All we have to do, is decide what weather we are willing to put up with, and in a short period of time, we can live out our dreams in the place we choose. If this place gets old to us, we just pack up and move to another state and try something completely different. We can do this as many times as we wish, as long as we live. We may have to learn a different accent, but we will be welcome.

Northern lights in Alaska
Northern lights as seen In Alaska

      I may be a little prejudice, but I feel that I live in the greatest country in the world. This is not because I don’t like other places, this is just because I love my country with all my heart. I have been to many countries, and enjoyed the sites, but I like it here and believe I will stay. As I mentioned from the beginning, this post speaks of what one is willing to put up with to live somewhere. I used the United States because this is where I live. However, you can use these thoughts anywhere in the world. Do you like the woods, desert, plains or beach? What kind of weather are you willing to put up with to live there? There are natural disasters everywhere in the world. Which ones do you deal with? Mother nature is e everywhere, and she will use her power, one way or another. What disaster can you handle to live where you wish? These are questions we must ask ourselves to be happy of our surroundings.

       Fortunately, in this day and age, it is easy to find that perfect spot we wish to live. With the availability of the internet, we can find that special place where we wish to live and raise our families. It wasn’t many years ago that people had to travel to a place before they knew what mother nature had in store for them. So with that in mind, where is your perfect place? Have you even thought about moving, or are you content where you are? I’m curious to know, for I have yet to  live in my perfect spot. I am however looking, as we speak. Furthermore, I’m very close, but these summers are getting to be too hard as I grow older and feel I need to head more north. I thank God that I live in a country where I can move to different parts of the country, without any trouble.

      I hope this post has brought you to a decision of where you want to be, and what you are willing to put up with to live there. I would like to hear of the place you live, and some of the issues you face. Do you have hurricanes, tornadoes, extreme heat or cold? Maybe you have found your Utopia. My readers and I want to hear. Feel free to leave a reply, and I will answer as soon as I can. My readers will likely chime in as well. Take care, and I hope today finds you well. I look forward to discussing this post with you.