Month: August 2022

Categories
short stories

Toxic, Bubbly, or Blah

A Guide to Navigate Through Your Social Circle

Author’s note: I originally wrote this as a guest post a month ago for “Wellbeing Media“. I decided to run the post now, on my site, so all of my readers can read it first hand. Furthermore, I will be adding my own pictures. If you would like to see how the original post was printed, I urge you to visit their site. They also have many other great articles to read. Tap here

      We all have them friends that are either toxic, bubbly or blah. Heck, some of us may fit into one of those categories. Actually, it’s very difficult not to fit onto one of those. All three are hard for the “well-adjusted” people to handle. Of course, who is well-adjusted anymore? It’s very difficult to find someone that doesn’t fit into one of these categories, in this day and age. The well-adjusted, or “normal”, would be those that at times can enter into all three of these categories without being stuck into one all the time. The only position the normal people should lean into more is the bubbly crowd.

Girl sitting at desk alone looking miserable and blah. Two other girls in background talking happily.

     Let’s talk for a minute about the “blah” person first and work out to the other two extremes from there. The blah person is the one that you may know that is, the most part, very boring. Never showing happiness or sadness and seems to be in the exact same place of life, at any given part of time. These people are the most reliable of the three because they are always found at the same places, at the same time, every day. If you need to talk out your own problems with someone, and just need a sounding board, these are those to seek out. These people have no true opinion, one way or the other. It’s kind of like talking to a mirror. You probably won’t get an answer to your problem from them, but instead, you talk your problem out, and find a solution for yourself. Of course, if you have good news, these are probably not the ones you want to tell it to.

Lady with a dead stare, looks like a trouble maker

      The “toxic” person is the worst type of friend to have. Although toxic, we all have this type of friend, and it’s hard not to keep them. We feel sorry for these people, and are always looking for a way to put a smile on their face (this smile rarely, if ever manifest). These people are always in the dumps and never happy. You could hand a toxic person $1,000,000, and they would think you don’t like them because you didn’t give them $1,000,001. These people could make the happiest person in the world want to give up within five minutes of conversation. Although we always want to help them, a toxic person’s only help is to help themselves. They must change their own attitude towards life, before they will ever be happy. Toxic people will not listen or change for anyone, but themselves. Another way to describe a toxic person is the “Poor ole me Syndrome“.  If you are a toxic person, I suggest you read this paragraph again and again until it sinks in!

Very happy girl sitting slumped in a chair with a big smile. Looks like a bubbly person.

     The “bubbly” person is the rarest of the three, and although sometimes they are too much to handle, these are wonderful people to know. These people bring joy to others and are a blessing to all they meet. Never showing a downside to anything. Bubbly people have a love for life in their hearts and don’t mind sharing with everyone. These people are the only type that can bring a smile to the blah person and make the toxic person feel good, (for a short period of time). Are you a bubbly person? If you are, then you have people wanting to be around you all the time. This may be overwhelming to you sometimes, but don’t quit being who you are, we need more of your kind in the world today.

      Lastly, there are, what I like to call the well-adjusted or, “normal” people. These are the vast majority of people on earth today. These people switch between all three at different times. Usually, these people change according to those they are around. If you are one of these, I suggest trying to stay around the blah and bubbly people as much as possible. Try to stay away from the toxic folks if you have a problem with becoming who they are when in their vicinity.

GIF of a woman changing emotions and deciding which to choose to be normal

      My question for you today is, which type of person are you? Is there a category that you would rather be then where you are now? The change is most definitely possible, however, going from a toxic person to a bubbly person is a huge jump! If you are toxic and want to change, I suggest working on being a blah person first, then working towards bubbly. Going from toxic to bubbly in a single leap might just overload your system, and scare the heck out of those that know you.

      I hope this helps in some small way of assisting you in discovery of yourselves. It is possible to change, if you wish to do so. I don’t have a lot of hope for the middle age to elderly people who are toxic, but anything is possible. Take care, my friends and remember, we are all in this together.

Categories
short stories

Life’s a Vacation

What kind of vacation are you planning to have?

      Think of life as a vacation. When we are born, the vacation starts. At first, it seems like this vacation will last for a very long time. However, as we grow older, our vacation soon speeds up and will all too soon be over. The hardest thing about the greatest gift (life or shall we say vacation) is we never know when it will end. Like any extended vacation, there will be ups and downs that we will go through.

       This vacation starts out great, with nothing to do but enjoy the playtime. Soon, as we grow a little older, we must pay our dues, so we can continue to enjoy our vacation. If we don’t work hard, the vacation soon starts to fall apart. We can no longer enjoy the finer things without putting in the work. If you want to be enrolled in your college of choice one day, you must put in the work to add that to your itinerary. The first thing that is thought of when someone says college is the money it cost. You may have wealthy parents to foot the bill, but you still have to keep them grades up, not only to get in, but to stay once you are there. How about being able to visit a different part of this great park, we call earth. The money must be saved and spent to visit different countries. You may need to learn different languages and customs to be able to stay for an extended amount of time. This all comes down to, how much do you want it, and are you willing to put in the work to get it?

      Most people think of the one or two week vacations you get after you have worked a job for a year. If we think of life as a vacation, then we are working many years to enjoy it until we leave. This vacation can be as good or bad as we make it. This can truly be a lifelong wonderful vacation, if we want it to be. We can also have a miserable vacation, if we allow ourselves to let it be.

Two small children talking, one in wheelchair and one sits in chair

      Here is a thought for you to put into perspective, why are people that are born with disabilities, usually the happiest people to meet? These people accomplish more and enjoy life more than the fully functioning person out there. Maybe, just maybe, they see life as a vacation they have been granted. This thing we call life, most people don’t think of more than just a struggle, but those with afflictions (who should be the ones complaining), are those that find the good things about life and live it to the fullest. These people truly enjoy life because they can see what a gift they have been given. They also know to make the best of it before their vacation runs out. Why can’t we all see life in this way? Why take this gift and make it a nightmare? The breath of life is a gift, if you want to believe it or not.

        The middle of our vacation is the hardest. This is the part of the vacation we must work, not only for our own vacation, but for our families as well. As a man, I can say with all honesty, once my children started being born, all I thought about was them. I didn’t worry about me anymore, I wanted to make sure they had a better life (vacation) than me. Children make us want to work harder, so they may have the better things in life. If we are to have the nice homes, cars and family to put into our vacation, we must be willing to sacrifice a great deal for the reward. We, along with our significant other, might have to put aside what we want, in order for our children to do better than we did.

William Scaggs holding his grandson
I’m a proud grandfather holding my grandson

      As you get older and look into your grandchildren’s eyes, you can see what you have passed down into their vacations. Furthermore, we become older, and our vacation is coming to an end. Did we get to see and do all the things we wanted to earlier in life? You would probably answer no to this question. So, if we didn’t get to enjoy the whole park (or world) did we at least get to enjoy most of life up to this point? If your answer to this is no, then it’s make-up time before the park closes. Few people get to visit even half of the park. The question is, did you get to enjoy the part of the park you have seen? Are you happy with the part of the park you are at? Can you be content to finish the rest of your vacation where you are, with happiness in your heart? If the answer is yes, then you, my friend, have been successful in life and your vacation has been wonderful indeed! If you have answered no to this question, then maybe it’s time for a few changes. You have worked hard all through life, and you deserve to end your vacation on a high note.

      Let’s take a for instance and look at what you believe should be the high point of leaving this vacation. Have you been saving your money for that rainy day, but always wanted to go on a cruise? It is a good thought to be prepared, but if you are just holding money with no more reason than, if something should happen, you are letting your vacation slip away. I’m not saying to spend your life savings, but don’t just rot away on that old couch, either. Enjoy some of what you have worked so hard for. It’s a fact that you can’t take that money with you, it will stay at the park when you’re gone. You may be saving it for your loved ones to have, but you should have rights to some of it, shouldn’t you? Your loved ones should want you to enjoy the park before it closes. They are working on their own vacations, and what you leave them should be considered a bonus, not a fully paid vacation.

       So let’s look back at what life is. Life is a vacation that we have no idea how long it will last. If life is a vacation, then we must work hard to make it the best vacation that we can. If we want to make the best of our vacation and truly enjoy this great park, (earth) we better do the best we can every day and not wait. Those that wait, may miss a ride if the park should close before they decide to enjoy it. Our families are also here on vacation, and we must help them make the best of the park as well. If you want to accomplish something that you have dreamed of, don’t put it off too long, or the park may close on you before you can.

Lady, with arms spread, looking at the beach

       This maybe the wildest way to look at life like a vacation, but isn’t better than thinking of life as a struggle? There is good and bad here at the park we call earth, but searching for the good is better than accepting the bad. We have no idea how long we will live. When your number is up, it’s up and that’s it. No matter how bad things are right now, if you look for the good, life is better. The world is not a perfect place, and we must overcome many obstacles, but overcome them and move on. Don’t give up when you’re down, keep getting up and go again. Let’s make life the best vacation ever!

Categories
short stories

Tips on Drawing on Your Inner Strength

Written by special guest Julia Mitchell of  outspiration.net for Common-Sense Interaction.

Emerge Stronger and More Resilient Than Ever

Woman writer in her office typing on computer
Image via Pexels

If your desire is to not only achieve more for yourself in this life, but also to grow in ways you never imagined, you’ll likely have to dig deep and draw strength from those reserves you never knew you had. Here are some helpful tips from outspiration.net on how to achieve that level of growth you always knew you were capable of.

Practice self-care more often

If you want to achieve more and be more, then you must be willing to put in the time to take care of yourself first. Some would even argue that without self-care, you aren’t likely to make it as far because you forget about the most crucial person in your growth journey – you!

Breaking out of your comfort zone

Perhaps the one thing that’s limiting you from achieving your dreams is your current career, in which case now may be the perfect time to step out to pursue that dream job you’ve always wanted. But first, you’ll probably have to think of redoing your resume to put your best self out there. Speaking of, you can create a phenomenal-looking resume from scratch with a resume builder if you’re stuck for inspiration. Just select a suitable template online and add your information, your photo, the relevant colors, etc.

Tidying up your home

Two ladies putting on rubber gloves to clean the house

The condition of your home could also be something that’s hindering your personal growth due to bad energy that’s just sapping every ounce of creativity out of you. If this is the case, then it may be beneficial to rid your home of any bad energy by decluttering and tidying up to create a clutter-free, more inspirational environment.

Reaching for the stars

Suppose you feel like one of the few ways to achieve the growth you’ve never known before is to reach for the stars to test your true capabilities. For example, you may think that starting your own business is the key to your success. Furthermore, you’ll need to choose a business structure that has success written all over it, such as an LLC, for instance, because its benefits such as greater flexibility, lesser paperwork, and the fact that it has more tax advantages stand out to you as a recipe for success. Just be sure that if you decide to start an LLC, you check what the filing regulations are in your state, as the rules and requirements can change from place to place.

Thinking more positively

Focus on what you’re thinking about if you want to change the course of your future. While this may seem like a piece of advice that’s too good to be true, it is helpful advice that could end up fast tracking your quest for personal growth quicker than you thought possible. Moreover, thinking positively leaves little room to think negatively, something you should avoid if you don’t want to be held back.

Adopt better habits

Lady eating a bowl of fruit to stay healthy

Suppose some habits in your life could be changed for the better, then you should focus on identifying these, so you can adapt and change them for the better. For example, you might find it challenging to get up on time, and the day just seems to slip away from you timewise. Then make it a habit to wake up earlier at the sound of your alarm clock, so you can get to more and be more productive during the day. Or perhaps it’s unhealthy eating that’s your downfall, or not exercising enough, in which case you need to take those steps towards a positive and healthier lifestyle. Reaching your goals growth-wise is sure to be quite the journey. But you’re likely to appreciate your efforts, especially when you emerge more robust, resilient, and capable than ever.

Categories
short stories

Perspectives and Perceptions throughout society

      Perspectives and perceptions are different in life for everyone. As one person sees something as the correct way, another may view it as completely wrong. This could be due to the way we are raised, or to the society we are associated with. If you move from one society to another, is it not true, your views of the way you see things change as much as the society changes? Your perspective or perception of the way you view things may and usually do change as you get older. The question becomes whether this is due to age and wisdom, or to the different society we become associated with as age creeps in? I would like to think of it as a wisdom change, however,  there are many factors to consider.

Married man and woman show their wedding rings

       These differences of how we see things will show up between male and female as well. This is probably the one that most individuals see as the biggest difference. Since a male tends to think using only logic, and a female thinks mostly with feelings, this falls in bold print on the wall of different perceptions and perspectives. This may be why a strong marriage can conquer anything that comes up within it, while a weak marriage can be destroyed in a very short time. (As I have mentioned in an earlier post, love can only take a marriage so far. Other factors must come into effect to make it work). Don’t get mad at me, the difference in the way males and females think has been scientifically proven. I’m just the messenger, my friends.

      Now, we have seen the different perspectives and perceptions of individuals. However, this difference in how we see things goes much deeper, but nobody seems to pick up on it. Let’s take another simple situation, and see how different perspectives and perceptions show in our everyday society. A person is brought up on charges for a crime that involves a jury, lawyers and a judge. All evidence is brought forward and shown to the jury as well as the judge. The lawyers involved will take the same evidence and use it in completely different ways to sway the jury and judge in two different directions. The jury will find the defendant either guilty or not guilty. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, the jury finds the defendant guilty. During the time the jury is in discussions, there are twelve different perceptions and perspectives that come together to come up in agreement to the conclusion of guilt. The judge now has to decide what the punishment will be, and uses his/her perspective and perception for the punishment of the crime. The defendant has now been found guilty and punishment is set by many perceptions and perspectives.

Judge writes while listening to Lawyers form arguments about case
Male lawyer works on case
Female lawyer studies case

       Here comes the kicker in our case from above. If, for instance, there are different lawyers, a jury and a judge, trying the same case, the defendant may receive a different punishment, or even found innocent. Even though the evidence is exactly the same, the difference in the people involved will see the case with different perspectives and perceptions. Wow, isn’t that something to think about?

      Now let’s stretch this perception and perspective idea even farther. Within the United States, where I am now, each state has different views of how we should live and deal with the surrounding society. Each state has different laws, and society can be completely different from one state to the next. A person that lives in California has a different perspective and perception of how things should be done than someone that lives in Tennessee. Northern states view society different from Southern states, and so on.

      If we go even farther and look into religion or politics, the views can stretch to the moon and back! If we go into different countries, we see perceptions and perspectives that are vastly different from one to the other. So does that mean perspectives and perceptions play a part in wars between countries?

Female holding a world globe

      I believe if we were to look at the other person’s perception and perspective, we could learn to live a more peaceful existence. Instead of trying to push what we see as correct, we look at how and why someone else’s opinions are different. The old saying goes, “Walk a mile in my shoes”. This saying should be studied in more depth, and maybe we would, could get along with our neighbors. These neighbors could be considered anywhere from someone who lives next door to someone who lives on the other side of the planet. We are all human, and we all have our own brains to use to connect with each other. Where are these views when it comes to dealing with someone that has a different perception or perspective of things than you? Could it be possible for countries to use this simple method to look for peace instead of war?

      I know there will be different perceptions and perspectives of what I have written, and this is my point being played out right in front of us in black and white. Some will say this is plain fluff, and I’m just full of it. Others will see what is written, and start putting more thought into this process. Either way, I respect your opinion, and I won’t take a side one way or the other with you. All I’m doing is putting information out there for you to think about. I have my own perceptions and perspectives of the way I believe and see what is correct, however, if I were to push my side, I would lose half my readers. I plan to keep all of you with me as I write my posts, I hope by standing off to the side, and not taking a side, my readership will grow.

      I hope you have enjoyed this post, and I look forward to the discussion this will bring. I will warn you, by taking one side and posting it for others to see, there will be someone taking an opposing side. Furthermore, I just ask for everyone to show consideration for others and keep your responses clean in nature. If you use foul language, I will change such words before your response will be posted, however, all responses will be posted. All are welcome, just keep it family friendly. Thank you, my friends, I will write again soon.