Month: April 2022

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short stories

No longer 10 feet tall and bulletproof

      I am reminded every day, as I get older, of my wild and crazy youth. Once my body was made of steel, now it’s made of petrified wood. At one time I felt that I could do anything even if it meant putting my body through rigorous pain. Now I know to search for the easy ways instead of blasting through head first. Once I was ten feet tall and bulletproof, now I know I was just stupid at the time. I am now paying for the heroics of my youth with a much wiser set of rules for myself. Am I any more fragile than when I was young? I don’t believe this to be true. In all actuality, I’m probably stronger now than I ever was. The difference is, now I understand how much abuse the human body can withstand. Now I know with great feats of strength, come great pains of what was in the beginning.

      I’m not sure why, as young men, we must try to blast through that concrete wall when it is much easier to use the door. Some say it’s the testosterone running through us and yet, others claim it is the rite of passage. Maybe, just maybe, it was that pretty girl that walked by, and she must be shown how massively strong this young buck was. Of course, later in life we realize that she, who turned the young buck’s head, thought we were just stupid. She, of course, was correct, but we are blinded by the beauty and the testosterone will boil! There is a certain dynamic to these tales that will be relived over and over through our lives. And when the magic 3-0 rears its head, the pain will drive a man to think twice about going through the wall instead of using the door.

Car wreck at bottom of hillside

      I believe in my heart, for most men, wisdom begins at thirty. How much damage have we done through our twenty-nine years of being untamed, stupid and just plain not right in the head before this time is anyone’s guess. We all have the stories of our wild and crazy youths but, you have to ask, was it worth it? The answer depends on how much your body reminds you of your wild or shall I step on and say, “Stupid” days. Did you break some bones or almost die from something that seemed like a good idea at the time? Did you wreak your first car by trying to make that 20mph curve at 60mph? Did you do something that even you knew at the time was idiotic, just because someone dared you to do it and out of the corner of your eye, you seen that pretty girl that you wanted to get to know? And afterwards, did really feel stupid when you did it and you got hurt, let alone seen that pretty girl leave the scene with someone else? Ya, me too!

     All the cases above had some form of truth to them in my own life. I wasn’t the brightest bulb in the barn. However, I have become much wiser for my misadventures so in some ways, it wasn’t so bad, I guess. I do feel all the twinges of pain more and more as I gain age. Even though I never broke a bone growing up, it wasn’t for a lack of trying. In all actuality, I believe the good Lord was taken care of me. Many times, I should have died from my variance, but it wasn’t until much older that I experienced my own death. Of course, that is a story for another time. So was it all worth it? Well I didn’t get the girl, I messed up a lot of vehicles along with my body, and I’m feeling a lot more pain from my adventures. I guess I would have to say, yes it was. I am who I am because of my stupidity and I enjoy a wisdom, I never would have without my misadventures.

       Would I live my life the same way over, given another chance? I guess I would have to answer no to that question. This would be because I now have the wisdom, so unless said wisdom was taken away, my answer would have to stand as no I wouldn’t.

Boy jumps his skateboard onto stair railing

      Another part of this would have to include my sons and grandson. I raised my boys letting them know, I didn’t want them to do stupid things, but knew they would. I never held it against them, of course there was always punishment that would be handed out. They are getting close to their thirties now, and I know, the wisdom will come when their time is at hand. I have one grandson now, and I hope his daddy will show him the same tolerance. We are all boys and as the old adage says, “boys will be boys.”

      As fathers, we must remember our youth and allow our sons to find their way in life, too. We must be stern when they mess up. We must teach them respect, and we must allow them to grow up to be good men. They will find wisdom on their own path in their own time, but don’t take away their rite of passage. They are going to mess up and cause themselves pain along the way, but it will make them stronger and wiser men. The last thing I must add, be careful telling them of your youth. Pick and choose your stories careful, at least until they reach the turning point from stupid to wisdom.

I once was 10 feet tall and bulletproof! I am now not so tall and no longer bulletproof, but I am much wiser for the things I have been through. Furthermore, I would love to hear your coming of age stories. Was there ever a point when you just knew you turned the corner from stupid to wise? If you had a chance to go back and try again, would you? What are your feelings on this subject? I hope you enjoyed this one. Take care, God bless, and I talk to you again next week. Remember, we are all in this together.

When all is lost, you’ve looked amiss

Ever have that feeling that all is lost and there’s nothing you can do to fix said situation? Well, if you haven’t, you either aren’t human or you haven’t done anything at all your whole existence.

How is it that some can jump right back on the horse, yet others can only huddle in a corner, feeling desperation creeping in with every tick of the clock? Where do these people come from that always find the good in all situations? Do these people have some form of supernatural powers, we don’t know about? And if they do, why are they keeping their powers a secret when so many others are struggling? These are questions that even the most level-headed people have asked themselves at some point in their life.

Man sitting on floor with hands on his head showing despair.

If you feel that the whole world is coming down around your ears and cannot see anyway that things can get any worse, I have some sad news. If you are feeling this kind of pain, you are keeping it from getting any better. Hard truths are hard to believe until we want to see things change for the better. Negative thinking brings negative things to come to pass. You must change your thoughts before things can get better! In this post, I will attempt to help you out of your negative world and into a more positive outlook on life. Many people may have tried to help you before without success, this is because you have not been willing to listen or accept what I am going to share with you today.

When you smash your finger, does it hurt more before or after you say ouch? Stupid question, I think not. The way we treat any situation has its own form of therapy to the situation at hand. If we convince ourselves of something, i.g pain, we will feel more of it. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt, but the way we react to it determines how much we will put up with. This is called human conditioning. From the time we are born until the time we die, we are being conditioned either by the world outside or what is within ourselves. Our body is set up to feel pain, so we know when to remove ourselves from a given situation. If we didn’t feel pain when we touched that hot burner on the stove, we wouldn’t know to remove our hand before the smoke detector told us our hand had just become well done. Pulling away is our body’s way of reacting to what the hand is telling the brain. So we pull away, grasp our hand and head to the sink to run cool water on it. Once the pain eases a little, we inspect our hand then put something on it. This usually consists of maybe some burn ointment and a bandage. But wait, I missed a step. What about the step to yell ouch? This is where our conditioning comes in.

Toddler leaning against her crib, crying.

We are not taught to cry or to grasp our hurt hand. These are natural responses by the body during pain, however we are taught to yell ouch, kick, cuss, scream and run around in circles waving our hurt hand around before doing what is best for us, which in the burn case would be to put cool water on it. How do we learn these other things? By watching the grown-ups reaction when they get hurt or see their child get hurt. This usually starts between nine and eighteen months old. I know that you don’t believe me right now, but just give me a little more time to change your mind. When a child first starts walking, what is the number one thing that’s going to happen? If you said, they will fall down, then you are absolutely correct! What is the second thing that happens? If you said the child will cry, you have maybe mistaken.

Ninety percent of the time, the child will first look around to see if Mom’s watching. If the child doesn’t see Mom, more than likely the child will just get back up and try the walking thing again without the slightest tear being squeezed out. If the Mother runs to her baby, picks him or her up, the waterworks and screaming will begin. Most parents learn this by the time the second child comes along. With the first child it’s run and pick up the child, with the second it’s turn your back before the child sees you looking. You may want to run over, but you have learned the fine art of parenting. This is why the second child is tougher than the first. Let me insert a sentence here now before J get lynched. I’m Not saying to not take care of your child. I’m saying to learn when the child is hurt or when the child just got a bump on the rump by the six-inch drop to the bum. And of course, your precious little toddler has three inches already taken care of by the huge diaper padding he or she has covered that little bum. All you first time parents calm down and before torching my house, read on, and you may learn something. You can get mad all you want, but when that second child comes around, make sure to write me. You can tell me you didn’t change anything raising the second child after you raised your first little bundle of joy.

I guess you noticed by now how I jumped from having the world falling down as an adult to a small bump on the rump of your toddler. Believe it or not, this is not because I’ve been drinking. This is how this post is supposed to be written. I wanted to take you to a place and a time when we wanted to help the little one, to the time when we learned to hold our breath and not run to the child. Now we will get back to the time where your world is falling down around your ears as an adult.

As adults, we have more responsibilities and have already been conditioned all our lives how to react to pain. This is not just for physical pain, but mental pain as well. Once again, I must insert a small sentence here. I am Not saying that people with mental health problems are because of conditioning! I am only talking about people in perfect mental health and causing things to be worse than need be. Furthermore, I don’t need you highly educated doctors giving me the “What to be and Where for’s” about it. Taking us way back to the beginning of the post, there are people that tend to breeze right through the struggle in life. Do they have superpowers and if so, why don’t they share their secret with us? I am now going to answer that question for you. Are you ready? Do you really want to know? Okay, here goes nothing and yet everything in one simple step. Their superpower is within their own minds. They have decided to think positive instead of following the negative worldly conditioning.

Woman with hands on her shoulders, smiling with great pleasure

These people will succeed in the hardest of times because they refuse to let the conditioning control them. It’s as simple as that. I applaud these people for standing on their own two feet, getting done what needs to be done, and refusing to run around waving that burnt hand yelling “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” This goes for their mental state as well. I challenge you to tell one of these people that they can’t do something! Then stand back and watch them figure out a way to accomplish it. These people won’t be poor, or if they are now, they won’t be for long. These people have decided to live above the conditioning. I say bravo!!!

As always, I welcome all comments. I do monitor them, but only to keep this a family oriented blog. As long as you don’t use cuss words or get off-topic, your comment will be posted for all to read. If you want to cuss and or get off-topic, please email me and I will get back to you that way. I want to wish each one of you God’s blessings. Take care, my friends, and don’t forget to sign up for my emails. Might as well, it’s free!!!

Not writer’s block, it’s writer’s pain

      I have to admit, this has not been one of my best weeks. In fact, it probably ranks in the lower half of all weeks that I have lived through. I started writing a few years after a work injury ended my career in mining. Along with helping keep my mind busy, I found that I was also helping others along the way with my thoughts and experiences put in print. Having nerve damage can be very painful at times. Even after years of dealing with this up and down pain and learning to handle what comes with it, there are days and sometimes weeks that are just too much to function with, let alone have the peace of mind to concentrate and write. This has been the case this week, no matter how many times I sat down to write this week’s post, I just couldn’t get started, let alone finish. Don’t get me wrong, I have many post in my head just waiting to come out and share with you, I just couldn’t sit still and concentrate long enough to get it done.

     The problem this week has nothing to do with writer’s block, more like writer’s pain that has been holding me back. I’m not the kind of writer who can create a lot of material and stockpile it for a later date to publish. I am the type that has to write at that moment of inspiration. It is true, I have a few posts started with the possibility of continuing at a later date. In these unfinished posts, none are more than two paragraphs long. I guess you could call them ideas more than posts. These will sit by the wayside until inspiration hits, and I can finish them. Some of these posts will never make it any farther than they are right now. I took some time this week and looked these over, with not even a hint of inspiration to grasp hold of. This is not to say that I couldn’t finish them as we speak, but they would not have the heart and soul I like to poor into my stories. If I ever finish a post without a small trickle of sweat on my brow, I know I haven’t put enough of myself into it yet.

A picture of a starry night with a quote by Billy Scaggs "Why look to the darkness of night when looking at the stars show the light?"
I’m reminded of what I was told about not seeing my inspiration. Thanks Doc

     Today, a very wise man (one of my doctors) suggested I write about how I have felt this week and be true to my word about it. He said that inspiration has been with me all week, I just wasn’t paying attention. I never realized pain could be a form of inspiration, especially someone who deals with it day-to-day.

     After starting this blog to help myself, a little over a year now, I have come to write more for your benefit than mine. This has done more good for me than it did when I started, I now have a reason to write other than keeping my mind busy. I now feel I’m maybe helping others who take a few minutes to read my posts. I feel almost selfish writing this post because I keep thinking, in some way, I am letting you down not posting my normal stuff. At this point, I’m not even sure that I will even publish this.

     I have never and will never believe the pain I go through is in any way worse than someone else’s. There are multitudes of people that are much worse off than I am. I can only write about what I know and let the others tell their own stories. I do, however, share a bond with others suffering from nerve damage. My sciatic nerve was damaged and there are many times I have parts of the left side of my body go numb, itch, ache and worse of all is the burning sensations that come to me. Real bad weeks like this one is when all of these symptoms come on at once and includes not just parts, but the whole left side of my body. When this happens, my normal insomnia becomes super insomnia, which, of course, stacks pain on top of pain without rest to break it up. Alas, here is where the problem of writing becomes huge, or as I like to call it, writer’s pain.

     The more I think about it, I’m becoming convinced that maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there that may get some good out of this post. If this is true and not just me over thinking, I would do that person an injustice by keeping this from being published. As long as I find this to be true and as long as I don’t convince myself otherwise, I will publish this as soon as I finish writing. I want to let others who deal with nerve damage know, I understand. I know how it feels when a slight change in temperature, change in barometric pressure or even a slight breeze can set off the pain in your body. This is no carnival ride, for sure. I guess the worst part about it is when people can’t see your injury, they sometimes don’t believe how you can possibly be hurt. If you’re not wearing a cast, you must be faking. Then comes the time when you find someone else who is suffering from the same thing, and you realize, “Hmm, I’m not crazy after all!” Just because an injury cannot be seen from the outside, doesn’t mean it’s not very real on the inside.

The last paragraph is for those who have nerve damage. Those who don’t share in this infliction, have no idea how it truly affects you. We, who do, learn to hide it the best we can for those who don’t.

I guess I should wrap this up now. Once I got started writing, it was hard to stop because while writing, the pain seems to disappear or at least, I don’t notice it quite so much. Thank you for allowing me to get away from my normal writing this week while I get my body to calm down. I will be posting again next week, going back to my normal writing. Take care, God bless and as always Remember, we are all in this together.

Dreams carry their own form of logic

If you control your dreams, you have all the answers you need

      My first question that I have for those that are reading this is, “Which one of these is the  most surprising statement to you? Is it the title or header for this post?” I ask this for a very good reason. Both of these statements stand very strong by themselves, but they also work very well together. Are you willing to open your mind and consider each of these statements by themselves, as well as combining them together to make a brand-new way of thinking? Are you willing to step outside your comfort zone to add a new perspective to the way you think if it will help you along this trip we call life? If you have said yes to either one of these questions or if curiosity has gotten the better of you, then read on. This will make you look at yourself and your thoughts in a way you may have never thought of before.

     If you are still reading, I will assume you want to know what this is all about. First, I want to say, I am not selling anything. I am not asking for anything from you other than your attention as I try to explain these two. These very different statements can be combined to make a better or maybe even, a smarter you.

Man and woman sleeping in bed (dreaming)

       Dreams have been studied and explained by some of the smartest people in the world. However, just understanding why dreams happen is only part of the story. The rest has been left out for all of us that are considered average people. These so-called genius people most of the time don’t even realize what they are doing, using dreams to their advantage. They just do it automatically because of the way they think. I know what you are thinking at this point. Why and how does this small-time blogger know something that only the greatest minds in history use automatically? My answer is a simple one. I never said only the smartest people understand this, I said they are the ones that automatically use this without thinking about it. We, on the other hand, must learn to think differently to achieve these answers.

     Let me start with the title to this article, “Dreams carry their own form of logic”. To explain this in layman’s terms, No matter how crazy your dreams are, while you are in them, they make complete sense. You could have a head of a gorilla and the body of a mouse and as long as you are in the dream, this seems to be normal. You might be able to run ten miles in ten seconds, and that is normal as well. Once you wake from the dream, everything is, at best, unusual and at worse absolutely absurd. Why would you dream of such craziness with no rhyme or reason? First off, there is a reason. Your dreams may not make sense, but they are mostly crafted from things you have seen, heard about or even thought about that day and sometimes longer periods of time. For example, watching a horror movie, reading a funny book or just random thoughts throughout the day all jumbled into one scene. In other words, you may have gone to the zoo, watched a comedy television show and studied for a science test all in one day. The sights, sounds and experiences you have been through or thought of that day have all been thrown together in your brain and all showing up at once in a weird dream that night.

      Your worries, successes, conversations and even random thoughts through the day can all be thrown together in one dream. In a lot of ways, this is your brain reliving your day. It also is a way for your brain to figure out a problem that you need an answer to. The second part of that last sentence is where the logic truly lies. In one way, we can think the dream is logical while you are in it, whereas it is completely crazy once you wake up. But if we look at it a little differently, the logic comes in the form of answering the questions you seek. If we think in these terms, then we can search our dreams for the answers we need. If our brain is finding these answers while we sleep, and we learn to find the answers in our dreams, then we can train ourselves to put forth the questions we have and retrieve the answers when we wake up.

       In a round about way, I have just let you in on the secret of the title and the header from above. And now you should be able to see how understanding both of these concepts and training ourselves (our minds) to use both of these together, we can help ourselves in great ways. When I talked about how the smartest people in the world use this without even knowing it, this is true in many ways. These people think along different lines than most of us. Did they train themselves to do so? The answer is a simple, no. These people have always thought along different lines. This is normal to them. We look at and think of them as geniuses where even though they seem so much smarter than you and me, the truth of the matter is they are just thinking differently. With enough practice and will power, we can train ourselves to also think along these lines. We were born with the same brains as they were. There are multitudes of highly educated people who have come to learn these concepts while studying to be a therapist. This same therapist are the ones you go to learn what your dreams mean.

Someone writing out E=MC on a chalkboard

       Here’s the question you have to ask yourself now. Are you willing to change who you are to live with all the answers you seek? Sounds good right? Be careful how you answer. As I said above, this will change who you are. If you’re happy being you, then don’t go overboard with this concept. Instead, just learn to put forth your questions to yourself before going to sleep. Don’t dwell on these questions, keeping you awake. Just ask yourself a question and let it go. Your brain will work on the solution while your body rest. Pay attention to your dreams, look past all the craziness and only search for the answer to the question you asked yourself. The answer is there. Your brain has found the solution already. Let this solution come out, and don’t distract yourself because you had a gorilla head and the body of a mouse. Look farther and find out you, with your gorilla head and mouse body, were writing out a math problem on a chalkboard. If you look at the answer at the bottom of the chalkboard, you discover that was actually the answer you were seeking while building the deck on your house and having trouble with the solution to a measurement going around that certain place in the building process.

       You can always go to a therapist to learn what your dreams mean. I support this decision, and in no way would I suggest different. These people are trained to sort out your dreams for you. These times are when you need help with the whole dream and not just part of it. What I am suggesting here is not figuring out a whole dream, but just a small part that answers certain questions you seek the answers to.

      I know this is a lot to take in and some will even say that I am full of fluff but I have one more thing to tell you before I end this post. The answers that I have suggested here all came from posting these questions to myself before sleeping. I have searched for these answers for quite some time. With pieces and parts over several sleep sessions. This is what I have learned from putting the questions to myself before sleeping. After coming to these conclusions for myself, I have tested my solutions over a few years. I have found it works and has helped me in many ways including some of the post I have written, even this one here.

      I have worked on this post for a long time and have finally decided to write it out. Furthermore, I hope in some way that I have helped you find the answers that you seek. Take care and as always Remember, we are all in this together.