Age brings strength and toughness through Wisdom

     As I get older, I’m amazed how much tougher I have gotten. I don’t look to show off how tough I can be but when the time comes, I can handle things I would’ve thought twice about in my youth. When I was younger, I had more muscle and less brains. Now I have less muscle but my wisdom has shown me how to use the gift of strength without being muscle bound. I was never a muscle bound boy, let’s get that straight right now but I did have muscle showing and I was fairly strong.

Middle-aged man sitting down reading newspaper

      The difference I guess between then and now is knowing how to use my body and put aside the pain I once wouldn’t have been able to do. If I come across a situation that should be a two man job but I am alone, I can muster up the strength to get the job done. I never could understand how older men with frail looking body’s  could show so much strength when needed. I now understand how this can be, as I am now an older man.

     Explaining this phenomenon would be near to impossible for me to do but I’m going to try to do just that as simply as possible. When we are young, we go at a situation like a bull in a china shop. As we mature, we gain what only can be possible through years of training and experience. This is of course wisdom. Wisdom cannot be taught, it has to be earned through many victories as well as failures. Most of all it’s the failures that teach us the most.

Young man holding baseball bat on his shoulder

      Young, dumb and full of muscles will ultimately get you injured and here lies the lesson, “don’t do it that way again!” Alas, wisdom is starting to take hold in that thick skull. Time and time again, hurting one’s self by picking something up the wrong way or rushing into something before thinking about the situation you are putting yourself into is gaining muscle strains and bruising. Once again I must say this is good training for later in life when the muscles are no longer one of your greatest assets. You now must use the wisdom that has come from the mistakes of the past.

     I guess what I’m trying real hard to get across to you is wisdom is strength in more ways than you can imagine and you will need this great asset when your body starts to show the wear and tear that you have put it through all those years gone by. When your children have grown up and left the household, you will still need to do some of the back breaking work that was there when you had your children to help. Unless you have a lot of money to hire somebody whenever you need to replace that refrigerator, stove, couch or whatever it is that takes strength to move, you must take care of it yourself along with the wisdom you have gained through the years.

Man lifting weights with a Superman shirt on

     When the time comes and you have to push the love seat up the stairs to the second floor where your wife would like to have it in the spare room, you just do it! When your children come to visit and see what you have done, well, you my friend will look like Superman to them. And all it took was a small dose of wisdom and knowing how to use leverage to get the task done. When your children ask how you did it, you can simply smile and say it was your inner brute strength! Let them figure it out when they get to be your age, don’t spoil the wisdom trail they must follow to get where you are. Besides, they haven’t gained the wisdom you have yet to understand it anyway. If you try to explain it to them, they either won’t listen or would think your off your rocker.

Enjoy your age and the wisdom you have gained along the way. You deserve being thought of as Superman by your children. Take care, God bless and Remember, we are all in this together.

Some people Have to say something / Others have Something to Say!!!

Does the title of this post mean anything to you? Are you talking just to hear yourself or are you using knowledge and wisdom to teach others lessons you have learned? What are their reactions to what you are telling them? Are they showing interest, anger, boredom or amusement to the words flowing so frequently from that hole in your face? I hope if it’s amusement, you are telling a good joke. These are some hard questions to ask one’s self. These are also questions that must be asked and answered if you want to improve who you are as well as what others think of you. What you share using your words can make or break the conversation you are engaging in. These words can and usually will help the other person or persons decide what your credibility is with the subject matter at hand. The person patiently listening to the conversation between the others and not interrupting usually looks like the most intelligent person in the room. Remember the saying, “two ears and one mouth”. In other words, we need to listen twice as much as we talk to ever become a wise person.

I am just now learning to take this advice to heart and the more I do, the more I believe this is truth. I myself, like many others, love to talk and find it difficult to listen to others without putting in my two cents. These are  terrible habits and ones that I am working through day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. I challenge you to take part in this quest with me and see where it might take us together.

Umpire watches game

Here is a good test that shows how well we are listening. If you are arguing with the people on your television set, you want or need to hear your thoughts and are now missing the rest of the story through your own voice. Ladies, don’t tell me I’m crazy when you are involved in a conversation with the people you are watching like them rich housewives in whatever city they are in this season and Men, you are yelling at the refs during a sporting event all on the big box sitting on a stand in your living room! I am guilty of the second one. Guess what? It’s on television and they can’t hear you through the glass!

Let’s put this on the other person and away from us for a minute. If you are at the movies and someone is always talking during the movie, it’s hard to pay attention isn’t it? How about somebody asking what just happened and by the time you get through explaining what happened, you just missed the next scene and now you too are lost. I think this is why a very smart person invented the pause button for us to use at home but when watching on the big screen at the theater, you’re not able to pause. If you miss something, you either have to pay and watch it again or wait until it comes out on DVD so you can buy it and pause it at home. This of course is a win win for the movie industry but we just spent more than we originally anticipated. Our conversation can and will affect those around you as well as showing what kind of person you are.

Man reading a book

It’s easy to see a person’s point of view by reading their thoughts they have written down but to learn someone’s view on things in conversation can and is quite difficult for most. Everyone has their own thoughts and points of view on everything we deal with in our lives day to day. Parents all have their own thoughts on how parenting should be done. Once you have passed your driver’s exam, you will put your own methods into play while driving. These are just two examples of the millions that could be put forth for this discussion. What I’m trying to say is we all have our own unique way of doing things that suits us and makes us comfortable in what we are doing. We also have a hard time understanding how others get by without using these same techniques we have proven to work for us.

Here’s the thing, being comfortable is not always the best way of achieving any task, but getting outside our comfort zone puts us into what we feel may be a danger zone and we show this in our everyday conversations. Someone may bring up a topic of how driving should be done and if they wear a badge, we will listen. Talking with the policeman that has just pulled you over commands a certain amount of attention paid without the argument you would rather use. Start to tell the officer how wrong they are and you will most assuredly end up with a big fat ticket to pay. However, talking about driving with your buddies and everyone in your group is an expert and none of you drive the same way.

Alas, telling another parent what they are doing wrong, may get you a fat lip unless you are a specialist in the field of parenting and the parents have made an appointment to see you in your office. I do believe that specialist in the parenting field should be parents themselves. Becoming a parent is one thing that can’t be taught unless you have been a parent yourself ( I will always stand by this ).

Ask yourself if you are talking just to be part of the conversation or do I have a true insight that I have learned and feel it is important enough to speak up and show my knowledge and wisdom of the subject being discussed. Listening without interrupting is a talent that few of us have accomplished in our lives. I am not part of those special few but I’m working on it. Another part that is hard to learn is dealing with someone whom believes they know everything. (We all know one of these people, heck, you may be one of them ). Even if you are the expert in the subject, sometimes it’s better to be quiet and let the other person ramble on. Dealing with people like these can just turn into a huge argument if you show where they are wrong. ( You can always go home and laugh about what they said later! ) If you happen to be one of those that knows everything about everything just remember this quote; “It is better to be thought of a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt“. These people that you just showed all your knowledge to, are going home for a good laugh if you are full of dung.

Four men having a conversation

So when should we speak up and when should we keep our mouth shut, listen and maybe learn something? This is the quest I have been learning and inviting you to join in. Talking with your friends and just having a good time is great but if you are a baker at trade and know nothing about cars, telling an auto mechanic what to do if the transmission goes out…well, that’s just dumb! Same as the mechanic telling you ( the baker ) how to make a seven layer wedding cake. Where does your expertise lie? All of us have our special talents but none of us know everything! The ones that truly know the most, are those that can listen and not interrupt when spoken to. These special people have a grasp on many talents and not just one or maybe a couple as most of us do.

I am putting all of this in print, not to tell you your business but so maybe I can learn from some of you who have learned about these issues or are like me and are just now trying to learn this wisdom. As you read these words, ask yourself where you stand with this. If you can, help me and others learn the best way to know when to speak up and when to shut up, please share. This maybe a simple task for you but for most of us, it is a great mystery and learning curve that needs to be solved. I am all ears at this time and am really looking forward to your comments and advice. Thank you in advance and as always Remember, we are all in this together.

Dreams can tell us more than we think

     It is very true that dreams pick up on our thoughts throughout the day but what about solving problems that we don’t have the answers to? I am here to say exactly that. Our dreams can give us the answers we are looking for if we just learn to pay attention to them. Our brain is a wonderful tool especially while we are sleeping. With the body at rest, the brain has extra time to work on other things like the solutions we seek during the day.

    Our brain during sleep is much more useful than we give it credit. While the body rest, our brain can actually accomplish work that we don’t allow it during the day. We go to sleep thinking that’s it, sleep, but what if we were to give our brain a job to accomplish while we sleep? We can take a problem that we need the answer to and tell our brain to figure it out while we rest. The trick is to give it to our brain and then forget about it. Don’t make it a struggle or you will not be able to get the rest you need for the other parts of your body. This takes practice and time to set up but once mastered, you will find the answers easily and without the hard thought you have been using up until now.

Lady sleeping

     Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and something you have been working on all of the sudden looked so simple? Then later when you get up for the day, you can’t remember what it was? You are not crazy, your brain just gave you the answer but you didn’t do a simple thing when you received the message. Keep a notebook and pencil beside your bed. When you are awaken, write down what you see while it is fresh and when it’s time to get up, read what you wrote and it will amaze you!

     Now the way to set up your brain to figure out problems at night is to write down the problem in question form and read it to yourself before bed. You are now giving your brain an assignment for the night. Once you have done this, forget about it and let it happen naturally. Some people listen to music as a way to fall asleep. This is great if you do it the correct way not taking focus away from the assignment you have given your brain.  What I mean is the type of music can help or hurt what you are trying to accomplish. Don’t go to bed listening to Rock & Roll or Country music.  I too love these kinds of music but it will take away focus from your brain and it won’t be able to complete its assignment for the night. Instead listening to classical music without words is a much better alternative.

Hands playing piano

     Classical music is a great relaxation type of music to listen to help us sleep. Make sure it is something soothing like piano and with no singing involved. I recommend Chopin if you want to listen to piano. I myself would never listen to this kind of music on a regular basis but for what we are trying to do, it works very well. Listening to rock will keep your heart rate up and keep you from the peaceful sleep we are seeking. Country music tells a story and will keep the brain working with the story it is being told.

Some people use relaxation apps that have things like running water, the ocean with seagulls or forest sounds. These are great for resting but I have found they also lead my brain into coming up with stories to fit the sounds being pumped in. For me if I listen to water trickling, it makes me dream of needing to fix the leak and also that I need to get up and use the restroom. If I listen to the ocean, I have wonderful dreams of being at the ocean but I need to dream of the answer to my problem not walking on the beach. If these work for you, great but I found classical music ( without words ) fits what I’m trying to accomplish during sleep.

     You may find it hard at first to get the answers you seek but this process will help you get on the right path of finding your answers. Once you have mastered this process, you will wonder why you haven’t tried this before and gotten better sleep without the worry. You will also be amazed how well it works.

     I hope some or all of you will try this and let me know how it’s going for you. You can contact me in various ways on my page as well as leaving comments to this post. Take care, get some good sleep, let your worries go and Remember, we are all in this together.

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How do you use Free will?

If you have read my columns before, you have probably noticed how I bring up free will from time to time. I would like to dive into this concept a little deeper with hopes that others will grasp what I am talking about. There are many that cannot understand something that is really a simple concept. The biggest problem we have with “free will” is using it and understanding the ramifications and limits of what was meant when we were gifted it.

Everything we have or use has its limitations, this includes free will. I can choose of my own free will to hurt someone but I am now liable to the consequences of such an act. So there are limits to my free will. The old expression says “Nothing in life is free”. Pay very close attention because this is a very true quote and it includes free will as well.

Cell block B painted on block wall

The only thing you were truly given at birth is free will. (Some suggest life, spirit and soul. These three things were gifted at conception, not at birth). You have the right to be a good person or bad. You have the right to follow good or evil. You have the free will to pray to whom you wish. You may be persecuted for it or even killed but you still have the free will to do it. The United States is one country that allows you to follow what ever religion you wish by law however, if that means hurting someone else in the process, you will be jailed. You still have the free will to do it.

I am a Christian and I understand free will because it is explained to us in our teachings. There are many religions that don’t explain or except the concept of free will. That’s up to you and your church. The problem with alot of religions is they use free will to harm others that don’t follow their ways. As Christians, we don’t want to harm others. We do overstep our free will sometimes and have to except the consequences as well as anyone else. We believe that free will was a gift from God to humanity. This gift has been abused and caused all humanity to get ourselves into trouble more times then not.

God gave us free will because we are made in God’s image. He did not bind us. If we choose to follow him, then we have a set of rules to follow, one of these is the Ten Commandments. God also gave humanity the free will to follow whomever you wish to follow. The consequences of whichever way you choose will still be there but you have the free will to decide which consequences you will adhere to. I’m blessed to have a Father in Heaven [ my God ] whom is forgiving.

Man standing in rays of sunlight

So here it is in a nutshell. You have free will of spirit even though your body may be bound by things of this earth. These things may or may not be of your choosing. Free will may be free but consequences may cost you if it is not used with wisdom. Is free will free then? Is free will the only thing that is truly free? Do you follow spirit ( with free will ) or body with the world and it’s rules? Choose wisely and Remember, we are all in this together.