I love you but…..

Divorce is happening more often as a percentage not because of growing apart but because of the selfishness of both partners. Neither side of the relationship is willing to grow up and take responsibility. This has caused a trigger in alot of young adults to have babies but never get married. The thought of divorce has caused overwhelming fear of commitment. If you believe in marriage or not, is your business. But without this bond, you are just telling your partner that you don’t love them enough to sign the contract. You never have to say this aloud but mentally, this is what is being picked up. The male will always have in the back of his mind that she will leave him any day now. The female will always believe she is not worthy of him.

Another reason, is that the government is pushing people away from getting hitched. It is becoming easier to make a living when the contract isn’t signed. The tax break for being married is weakening and it is much easier to get government help if you don’t have to show that there is a spouse helping with the children. Divorce, in most states, consists of the parents doing their due diligence until the youngest child turns eighteen (in some cases until the child is twenty-one). It is much easier for the partners, if the marriage never exists, depending on state laws, of course.

Young people no longer want to be tied down until death do them part. Of course, if there are children, then the parents will still be attached if they like it or not. But who is it that truly pays for this lack of commitment? The children of course and their children. You have taught your children this is the way to live. We all learn the environment we are in.

Leaving the door open and not sealing it with the commitment of marriage is just like quitting before you even begin. This is just a way to play house without taking on your responsibilities. Of course you are going to be completely destroyed if your partner cheats on you but without the commitment, are they truly cheating or using this time to expand their horizon? There is no contract to break other than the verbal boyfriend/girlfriend rules. Neither one of you have taken a stand for yourself to be with this one man or woman. You have also decided not to take a stand for your partner or, worse of all, your children.  All you have done is split the bills and hope the other doesn’t do you wrong. At the same time you are telling your partner that you are also looking around, even if you aren’t.

Another way to think about this is, both of you buy a car together or house and both of your names are on the contract. You are betting on each other that both of you will hold up responsibilities of making the payments on said property.  So what both of you have decided is that car or house deserves a contract signed by each of you but neither of you are good enough to have a contract with. I could go on and on about this subject. I choose to leave it as it is because I believe I have given you something to think about. No matter what your religion is or your thoughts of marriage as an institution, don’t your children deserve this commitment in their lives? Your marriage may or may not work out but don’t let the fear hold you back. Take a chance on your beloved and no matter what happens, your children will reap the benefits of your commitment.

These ideas are truly of my own thinking and not to dismantle anyone who doesn’t agree with me. If I didn’t write what I feel in my heart, then I’m just writing to pass the time. I will never publish anything that I don’t truly believe and feel that it needs to be written. Take care, love one another, step up to the plate and Remember, we are all in this together.