Veterans; You are not forgotten

I am republishing this post from April 13th 2021 in honor of our fallen heroes for Memorial day. Although this post is a little different than most Memorial day post you may see, I believe this must also be recognized during this very important holiday. Please indulge me in this short read. God Bless the families of our fallen.

I decided to write this post not because I  am a veteran but because there are so many others out there struggling.

Did you know there are on average twenty-two veterans that commit suicide a day? This is unacceptable!! My brothers and sisters have sacrificed so much for you and I, yet end up ending their lives because they feel they have no purpose left in society or the nightmares are just too much. I myself understand the nightmares.

Arlington memorial grave stones with single American flag standing by one of the grave stones

When was the last time you thanked a veteran for their service? This is a very small task that may mean nothing to you but it means a lot to a veteran. When someone thanks me for my service,  I automatically stand a little taller and feel a spark of appreciation and love. Trust me it means a lot. And when you see a Vietnam veteran, make sure you add to the phrase thank you for your service and welcome home. This is huge to a Vietnam veteran because they were not welcome at the time they did actually come home.

Most people don’t understand that when you sign on that dotted line, you automatically are setting yourself up to die for your country.

Did you know if you put all service people together ( Army,Navy,Airforce, Marines, Coast Guard, National Guard) that is only seven percent of the population of the United States. Let me say that again, only seven percent of the population of the United States ever serve their country in the Armed Forces. By figures, that means that ninety three percent of Americans are living free in this country from the sacrifice of the seven percent. Let that sink in for a minute.

United States soldier sitting down with his head in his hands showing depression
Depression is very real and for veterans it’s common

Are you so into yourself that you can’t take three seconds out of your life to thank a veteran? I am so tired of my brothers and sisters taking their own lives because they feel they have nothing left to give.

Let’s not take our veterans for granted anymore. If a veteran needs help and you have the means, please do what you can to help. They sacrificed their lives for you and still sacrifice after they are out of the service. It’s extremely hard to fit back into civilian life and actually,  it’s never quite the same after serving our country.

Also don’t forget the families of these veterans.  They have a harder job then you know keeping everything together while their husbands or wives are off fighting for our freedom.

There are many charities you can give to like Wounded Warriors, Veteran suicide prevention, many others that help veterans overseas and don’t forget the ones that help veteran’s families. You can choose if and who you would like to give to, or you can choose to help a veteran you see with whatever that person needs. Please don’t ignore their needs because they didn’t ignore your needs of freedom.

God Bless our Veterans and God Bless  America! Remember, we are all in this together.

Silhouettes of soldiers standing at attention in front of the American flag

The solution to any problem is within your reach

Most of the time people quit on things just as the breakthrough is within grasp. In life we go through many ups and downs. Of course if you are on the upside, everything is great and you are willing to do anything to keep it going. What about when you are on the downside?

This is very important especially if you are a teenager or a young adult. It does work with any age but usually people in their thirties and up have learned this lesson. Some learn it the easy way, unfortunately most of us learn this the hard way.

Are you ready to hear this very simple but also very wise lesson? No matter what your project is, whether it be learning a new skill or figuring out a complex situation that you find yourself in, it all comes down to a simple concept. When you are closest to the solution of the problem you face, it will be at the point when it is the hardest for you. This is why there are so many that quit just as they are about to solve the problem.

Lady Rock climbing almost to the top of the mountain

The more you struggle with a problem, the greater the reward is when you solve it. Anything that comes easy is just there. No big deal because you didn’t have to struggle to get it. However, if you struggle mightily and stick to your guns until the solution presents itself, this my friends will be a great reward for body, mind and soul.

Another way to look at this is someone that wants to be the best at something they are practicing to do. It doesn’t matter if it’s playing guitar,becoming a football star, being a great ballet dancer or becoming a great motivational speaker. It all comes down to working hard and following through to the end. It takes the bumps and bruises to accomplish great things.

Female ballet dancer practicing

So when you feel like you are at the end of your rope with whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, that’s the time to push your hardest.  That is the time when the breakthrough is within reach and you are about to solve the great feat you are faced with.

You can cry, yell and stomp your feet if you want but don’t let go because it became difficult. Push harder, farther and use all of your talents to finish what you have started. Your so close and I want to see you receive the great joy of accomplishment. I believe you can and I want you to start believing you can. Now go finish it and Remember, we are all in this together.

Sweet sixteen or terrible teen?

I know it sounds mean to some but once a child becomes sixteen, they are on their own choosing who he or she will become. Until this age, parents can still teach their children right from wrong. After fifteen, it just turns into war!

We all know that when a kid hits their teens, they become the smartest people on earth. Smarter than their parents, teachers and anybody that is in their thirties or above, but especially their parents. We all know it because we were once there. It usually doesn’t take long to figure out why the old and not the young are considered the wise.

If all of us as parents understand this concept, why is it such a shock when it happens with our children? I believe we all want our children to be better than that. But if our children don’t go through this transformation from sweet and loving to the evil we all know they can become, does this become a issue later in life?

Teenage girl holding a sunflower up to one eye

We all have to learn what it means to grow up. This can be accomplished as a teenager, in our twenties and thirties or in some cases, never. I would rather have my child be an absolute terror in their teens than later in life.

I’m getting a little off subject here. I can’t help it because I have already been through the teenage years twice and working on two more as we speak. Back to why I’m writing this post…

Why is sixteen a huge mountain in our lives? For one, we are given greater freedom along with greater responsibility. The biggest of these of course is being able to drive. Jumping in the car and taking off to wherever it is we are going is a big responsibility but also gives us more freedom. Alas, it usually ends up showing us we aren’t quite as smart as we thought we were. Did you have to ask you dad for help fixing the car? Did you ask your mom for extra gas money? And this is just a small part.

Two teenage girls sitting on the roof of a car looking off in the distance

I’m no psychological genius by any stretch but as far as

dealing with teenagers, been there, done that. People usually believe that eighteen is the age that our kids become who they are but I believe it is at sixteen that humans determine who they will be. Good, bad, respectful or not. This is the mile stone that is a turning point in our lives.

Of course you can change after this age if you choose but it is completely up to you to change your mindset whether for good or bad. Eighteen is just an age the government sets for you to be a legal adult, but sixteen is where the big choices begin. At fifteen and under you are still considered a child whether you approve or disapprove of this title. One year later and all of the sudden you are starting to become a young adult.  Your not an adult but no longer a kid. Your stuck in the middle as they say.

There are many cultures that call upon the age of sixteen as a turning point. I never quite understood this line of thinking until I really started paying attention,  mostly through my own children but also through their friends. There is a very significant change that happens and it shows in the eyes. Pay attention parents at the blank stare or what I like to call ‘the dead eyes’. This blank stare usually starts between eleven and fourteen, however, the dead eyes are perfected at sixteen.

Two teenage boys. One looks away with a straight face and the other looks towards camera with a smile

Now during the sixteenth and seventeenth year, the eyes will either become clear or become more clouded and farther away.  This is the time when your almost young adult is deciding who he or she will become. For any parent, this is the scary time. We as parents hope we have instilled enough sense into our offspring that they will choose the right path. Of course, parents, it is truly out of your hands now. You can set curfews and take away the keys if they show up late, but they know there are only two years left until they can walk out the door and show you how dumb you really are.

Have you done everything right in raising your child? Of course not, we all make mistakes. Have you done the best you could? Ninety-five percent of the time the answer to this is usually a strong yes. So if you have done the best you could to raise your child to be that good man or woman, you have done your job. If your child becomes a jerk as an adult, it’s on them because of who they decided to be at the so-called sweet sixteen.

I really hate when some young adult does something that gets them in trouble  and people start whispering, “Probably had bad parents”. In some cases this is true but for the most part, it’s that sixteen year old deciding who he or she is going to be and has nothing to do with the parents.

I am up for any discussion you want to draw up either for or against what I have written here. I’m a open book as some might say. I wish you well and for those parents that have the sixteen and seventeen year old kids under your roof, I will say a silent prayer for you. Remember we are all in this together.

You have the power to change

The winds of change are upon you. When are you going to wake up and make a change? There isn’t anything holding you back but air, hence the title.

I wanted to talk to all the people out there that are constantly complaining about this or that. The government is taking all my rights away. My boss treats me unfair. People look down on me. My peers don’t include me in anything. I’m always broke. Any of these sound familiar?

So, what are you doing about it? I don’t want to hear that you have been on lockdown because of covid. We all went through the same thing, some still are. You are not alone. But why is it that you are being treated unfairly and it seems like the whole world is moving on without you?

Black and white photo of a woman crying

First off stop crying about it! Second, ask yourself what you can do to change your situation. If it’s government, register to vote and be at the polls every time they open. If your boss isn’t treating you right, change jobs. If you aren’t looked up to like you think you should be, maybe you should take a better look at yourself. As far as your peers not including you, well for me that’s a blessing, it weeds out the people I don’t want to be around anyway.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret that I have talked about before. We become our environment. The only way for us to change who or what we are is to step out and change that environment. Does that mean to move? Maybe. Does that mean to find different friends? Possibly. Does that mean to change jobs? Could be.

All these scenarios could and probably will change at least part of your environment. It all depends how much you want to change. Do you need a small change or a drastic one. This all lies on your shoulders and nobody else’s.

Have you ever heard that poor breeds poor and rich breeds rich? Why do you think that is? Most poor people would say it’s because rich people are born into riches. This is true in some cases, however, if you do some research, you might be amazed it’s not as large a percentage as you think. There are people just like some of you out there that invent things that make them overnight millionaires.

Old run down apartment buildings

So what is different about these overnight successes from others that are not? The answer is, they stepped out of there surroundings and changed their environment. Maybe these people never left their broken down old barn they used to make their discovery, but in their mind they were already in a different class.

There are overnight millionaires from winning the lottery. However, if they don’t have their mind right, they will be broke inside of six months. So what I’m trying to say is, if you don’t change then change won’t be and you will be in the same place next year as you are today.

The winds are there. Are you going to spread your wings and change your future for the better or stay with the nest and live the rest of your life in that same nest? If you are happy where you are, great! But if you want more out of life for you and your family, you have to jump from the nest.

Man dressed in three piece suit straightening his tie

One more thing to consider is your children and your children’s children. Someone down the line will have to step out if you are living in poverty or poverty will keep being taught. This is why poverty breeds poverty and rich breeds rich. If you grow up in a certain environment, it’s all you know. Maybe someone will tell you that you can do better. Maybe you won’t listen to all the negative ones around you. Maybe you will be the one to break the chain. Maybe, just maybe, your boss, your friends or even your family (usually family) are wrong when they tell you this is all you can accomplish.

Start doing research on successful people and see what kind of struggles they had to go through to become successful. I can tell you, it will open your eyes! You can do better for you and your family but, you have to decide how much of a sacrifice or change you are willing to make to make it happen.

I can’t change your environment. Your boss, friends or family can’t make you flip that switch in your brain to change. Only you can do it! And if you get flack from the others, make sure to drop a postcard in the mail to let them know how well you are doing. Who knows, maybe they will break the chains too. Take care, I wish you the best  and Remember, we are all in this together.

Are you the selfish type?

When was the last time you did something for someone else just to bless them? I’m not talking about your kids or significant other, which of course is nice but also usually expected. I’m talking about your neighbor, the police man at your kids school or someone you have never met before.

I know there are people out there that are just looking to take advantage of a kind soul, especially this day in age. However, there are alot of good people left in this world that perhaps just needs someone to show they care.

I live in a state where there are alot of people begging in the street for that all mighty handout. Truth be known, about seventy-five percent of those probably make more money than you or I do. But what about the other twenty-five percent? Did you have that feeling deep inside or that little voice telling you to help this person? Did you hand them change, groceries, offer them a job cleaning your yard or did you turn your head and drive away?

The policeman or policewoman ( have to be politically correct here ) that are watching your kids school is doing his or her job of course. But when some nut job attacks a school, who is it that is going to jump in and protect your kids even if it means their own life is at stake? You or that officer? Have you ever stopped and thanked them for protecting your children or are you waiting for something terrible to happen so you can show up at their funeral?

Lady with her hand over her ears looking away
Don’t ignore others.

How bout that elderly person that makes sure to wave at you when you leave to go to work everyday? You don’t even know their name but you throw up the half hazard wave back just because it is a natural human response. Have you ever thought about walking your lazy butt down the block, introducing yourself and asking them if they need help with their lawn or cook a meal for them? Maybe that weak wave is good enough for you.

Here’s a good one for today with this Corona stuff going around and all the lock downs that we have been put through world wide. How about when the restaurants were reopened and you have that waiter or waitress ( still politically correct ), that wasn’t quite as good as you thought. Did you leave a tip anyway or keep that dollar in your pocket? Did you ever think maybe they are having a rough day because he or she has been out of work and stressed about taking care of the kids at home?

Cashier waiting for customers money
My wife has been amazing through Corona

How about the Supermarket workers, ( this is close to my heart because of my wonderful wife being a cashier), have you thanked them for continuing to work and put themselves at risk so you can have food on your table during Covid?

What about Doctors, nurses, fireman and women, truck drivers, Veterans… the list goes on and on! Are you having a bad day? Did someone ask if you were okay? Has someone done something nice for you recently even if it was a simple thank you?

I believe we have gotten so into ourselves, especially in the last twenty years or so that our selfishness is starting to be the norm. It has to stop! We are becoming more animal than animals themselves.

One man helping a sick poor man get a drink of water from a bottle

Time to wake up and think about others as much if not more than ourselves. Help others and when you need help it will come. But don’t do it half hazard or just because you want help in the future. Do it because you truly want to help your fellow humans. Show love and love will be, in turn show hate and hate will be. What kind of world do you want? Don’t harden your heart! Even the Grinch and Scrooge learned that lesson.

The title to this post is “Selfish or No” not “selfish or not” because it’s not meant to be a question. I hope some day to write a post called “Generous or Yes”. I hope to see a change in this world and bring back old school thinking so that i can write it with joy in my heart. Be well my friends and Remember, we are all in this together.

Enjoy the age you are

Enjoy the age you are. Life goes by quickly! It’s funny how the older you get how time goes by so much faster! Truth is, time stays the same but we change. The older we get, the more we pay attention to time. Why is this? I believe I have the answer.

My daughter walking across bridge

I was talking with my youngest daughter the other day and the subject of time came up. She is just becoming a teenager  this year and she said how she was scared to grow up. I gave her the Ole “Time goes faster as you get older.” She just stared at me. It hit me then, this is really something she wants to know and understand. I decided this was about to turn into a serious conversation that I’m not prepared to have.

How am I supposed to explain to a twelve going on thirteen year old what I mean. I myself didn’t start seeing it until I was in my forties. I’m still not real sure I understand the full complexity to this. I just feel, the older we become, the more things we have missed.

I decided to go with an approach that I have learned and hope that it helps my beautiful daughter, and hopefully others like her out there. I know we all have regrets, whether it be a job, girlfriend/boyfriend or even losing a friendship over something dumb. Whatever it may be, it still leads me to the same conclusion. I will try my best to explain this the way I explained it to her. She seemed to pick up on it and gain the understanding I was hoping for.

When we are young, the one thing we want more than anything is to grow up. Once we are grown, the one thing we want more than anything is to go back to being young again. We need to start enjoying the age we are now! It doesn’t matter if you are twelve, twenty-five or eighty-five. If you are twelve, enjoy being twelve because thirteen is just around the corner and you will never see twelve again.

When we become older, the only way to enjoy twelve again is through our children and our grandchildren. Maybe you will be fortunate enough to be around to enjoy your great grandchildren. Take full advantage of this because you will never be twelve again. On the flip side of that, enjoy what ever age you are now. If you are fifty, enjoy fifty because you will be fifty-one soon enough.

Middle aged couple looking over ocean

And for goodness sake, don’t look back at missed opportunities, look back at successes. Enjoy life now! We are only here for a little while. Don’t make yourself miserable over something that is long gone.

I hope this helps. Enjoy today and Remember, we are all in this together.

Conquer and Succeed

The more you succeed, the more mountains you must conquer. This is true with anyone that has been successful. Once you climb a mountain to success, there is always another in front of you that must be conquered.

If you conquer one mountain and stop, are you successful? The answer to this riddle is no. Just because you have succeeded in one thing in life does not mean to lay down and stop where you are. This is not the meaning of a successful person.

A successful person never stops looking for opportunities to be more successful. This has nothing to do with money, however money usually follows.

Showing a person's hand writing equations including E=MC2
Don’t give up!

Take a person like Albert Einstein, he continued to work on ideas that have changed science until his dieing day. Even when he wasn’t working, as far as we could see, his brain was still in overdrive. Was all his ideas valid? Maybe not as we have found other ways to disrupt some of his ideas. Did he quit? Never!

There are many other examples which most of the time are just hard working people that never gave up. Pick a few billionaires out of the crowd to study and I will guarantee, they don’t quit.

If you succeed in something, take a minute to pat yourself on the back and then get back to work. If you do this, then the sky’s the limit. Or is it? Even if it’s just an idea that you are working out in your brain, keep it up.

I have no idea why this post came to me in the middle of the night. Maybe this is just for me or maybe one of you are having a hard time keeping the faith in your dream. I’m not sure, but there it is. If it’s for you you will know it. Keep knocking them mountains down and Remember, we are all in this together.

short stories

Change makes us Stronger

      When I was growing up, or at least until I became a sophomore in high school,  I was always the new kid in class. My dad moved us back and forth from Missouri to Arizona multiple times.

       My dad worked for the Railroad and the copper mines as a mechanic in Arizona and when the layoffs or strikes came, boom, we would be headed back to Missouri, where both my mom and dad grew up. He would open up his own auto shop or go to work for another shop (usually a diesel shop) until the strike or layoffs were over. And just like that, back to Arizona we would go.

Mechanic works under car

       Now, truth be known, it wasn’t exactly like that, but very close. Yes, we moved a lot back and forth between these two states, but sometimes it was just to different parts of Arizona or just to different parts of Missouri. This situation would very often cause me to be the new kid in school, sometimes twice in the same year!

      Growing up like this was hard on me, but as I have seen through my life, it was actually a very good thing to grow up that way. Sure it was hard leaving friends that were just made and trying to make friends over and over again, but I  learned that I can, did and do adapt better to circumstances that others have a hard time with even today. I guess the hardest part was figuring out who the new bully would be that I would eventually end up fighting. Of course, I lost most of the time, but I was granted great respect for always standing up for myself and sometimes others as well.

       I consider myself a ‘Missourian’ and yet for the past twenty plus years, I have lived in Arizona after my dad passed away. The thing I’m trying to spit out is, we become part of our society, and those that have lived in multiple societies are better off in a lot of ways. For one, I could be uprooted and placed in a different location tomorrow and within a month, I would be able to fit in.

      I was able to prove this when I went into the Navy. Most of the recruits beside me had a real hard time adjusting, but me, heck it was just another day.  Sure, I missed my family, but I was able to fit into my circumstance very quickly. And the bully? Well, that was my company commander and I decided not to fight him.

Child throwing a fit

       I sometimes feel for the military kids because I know it’s hard on them. Let me tell you moms and dads something about that. If you explain why your family has to move so often, the kids will be stronger for it. If you just tell them, “just deal with it”, then you will have a very troubled teen on your hands. Be honest with your children about it, and they may be mad now but understand later and become well-rounded adults.

      For all other parents that have a choice to move or not move for a job or other circumstance, make sure you make the decision, Not your kids. Too many times the decision is made more by the children than their parents these days and that is wrong. You are responsible to do the best for your family and let your children change things up with their kids if they want when they become parents. (This is classic old school thinking).

Mother sits with her children that are playing

      Before anybody yells at me for that last paragraph, I tell this from experience. I made this mistake!  I made sure to keep my kids with their friends and I decided to stick it out and not take them to a better life and now my children are paying the price, let alone my wife and I are still stuck where we really don’t want to be. Don’t get me wrong,, this is a wonderful area, just not what we want. One of my sons is in the Navy now and instead of adapting like I did, he is one of those having a hard time, and it’s my fault.

U-Haul building

      If I had moved us years ago when I had the chance,  I believe my whole family would be better off today. Instead, I let the children decide. So don’t be afraid to move if you believe it is better for your family.  I’m not saying to be like we were when I grew up, I do believe that was excessive, but I lived through it and would willingly do it all over again.  There’s a great big world out there, don’t be afraid of change.  Change can make you stronger. Your kids will adapt and be just fine. Take care out there.

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Backup & Punt

Some of my readers may have never heard the phrase “If all else fails, back up and punt.” I promise most of the sports enthusiasts out there, especially those into American football,  have heard and understand this wisdom.

For those of you that don’t understand, I will try and explain this great wisdom. First off, let me tell you in advance,  even though  this is a football term, I will be using it to explain how to achieve what you want out of life. So fear not, I have a plan.

There are times in life where we have tried everything under the sun to accomplish something, but nothing seems to work. This is the same when one football team comes up against a much better team. Yet sometimes the better team loses because the weaker team pulls the Ole rabbit out of the hat trick, and catches the better team off guard.

Punter on football team kicking ball

I’m now going to coach you up, to put it in sports speak. When I say ‘punt’ this refers to kick the ball back to the other team because nothing else is working. Sounds kinda dumb, huh? Well not really, you see, when that ball is in the air a lot of different things can and will often happen. The main one being the guy that’s supposed to catch it, messes up and fumbles the ball. This gives both teams a chance to recover the ball. The team that just booted the ball has new life because if they recover it, they are in a better position than they were in before. Also, if they don’t recover it, at least they have a chance to regroup and physically and mentally catch their breath.

Okay,  maybe a little NFL thrown in there, but this is a lot like life. If you have thrown everything you have at a situation, and it’s not working, then sometimes it is better to back up and try something out of the ordinary. It may not be what was planned, but maybe the plan that was needed.

Not every rule works the same all the time with different people, businesses, inventions or whatever it is you are trying to find the solution to. So you can keep banging your head on the same wall making the dent deeper or try something that is really far off and maybe, just maybe, pull your own rabbit out of the hat!

I hope this post hits home with some of you that are having trouble finding a solution to your unique situation. Sometimes you just have to back up and punt. Remember, we are all in this together.

short stories

Reflection of reality

What if we are just the reflection of someone else’s reality. Have you ever stepped back and wondered why you did something even though you knew it was wrong? We have free will. We make our own choices. Furthermore, we do right or wrong knowing it’s right or wrong. So why do we do what we do?

A young boy with his hands on a mirror, leaning back looking up with his reflection

Life makes no sense, and yet here we are. But what if we are not in control but just a reflection of someone else’s reality or even worse just one of their dreams? What if our lifetime is just a small amount of time for he or she that is subconsciously making us who we are? Scary thought, isn’t it? I like to think outside the box a lot and this is about as far outside as is possible from said box. I believe what I am presenting here is a bunch of fluff with no basis for truth, but it would explain a lot if it were true.

We have all had that dream that seemed so real that it was hard to convince ourselves it was just a dream. But just for a split second, what if this is the dream and the dream we thought was a dream, was in fact reality? Would this change your prospective of life? Would you wake up and do things differently this time? Or if we are someone else’s dream, would we manipulate it to fit what we want?

I know I’m stretching this thought about as far as it can go, but I do have a reason for all this nonsense. If we can think of ourselves as a dream/reflection of someone’s or our dreams being reality and our reality being dreams, then we can believe we can accomplish anything without being held to the rules of the world.

We start believing we can do anything we desire without being held back. If we decide to amass a great empire, we can do it. If we decide to fulfill our life’s ambition, well it’s easy because we control the dream.

Lady walking down the middle of a road with one arm in the air heading to the sunset.

So why, if we can dream it, we can’t do or have it? There is no reason. We only use a small amount of our brain our whole lives and if we listen to others negativity, we use less than that. If we have to pretend this is all a dream to achieve what we desire, then so be it.

It’s been said time and time again, “Follow your dreams”. Well, I say, let’s help ourselves and live the dream and make things happen to help ourselves. There is nothing wrong with a good imagination. Don’t be afraid to step out into the world and achieve what you want.

Are we someone else’s dream, or is our reality a dream and our dreams’ reality? I guess it really doesn’t matter as long as we live life to the fullest. You may live to be a hundred years old, but that’s really a short time in the grand scheme of things. Do what you can to make your life’s dream come true and if we are really in a dream world, at least it will be a good one.

How to win an argument

First off, you can win a discussion. You can win a debate. You cannot win an argument. This is because once a discussion or debate becomes an argument, there is no logical conclusion. Even if all the facts you have presented are found to be true, the other person is too upset to see them. It goes both ways, if the other person has all the facts that check out, you are too upset to see them as well. So the only way to win an argument is to not argue.

Two ladies arguing.  One in a tan hoodie,  the other in blue sweater

A wise man once said that it is better to listen and be thought of as a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt. So once a discussion or debate as it were, becomes heated and heading to an argument, just shut up! This is against human nature because nobody wants to be wrong. We always want to be right, even when we are wrong.

One of two things will happen after an argument. Firstly would be never to speak of it and possibly each other ever again. The second and usually the case is someone says they are sorry.

Let me say this about sorry, it may make you feel better for saying it, but did it really do any good? Most of the time all sorry is a cheap word thrown around to get someone out of trouble (as my wife has taught me). If you don’t believe that, next time someone tells you they are sorry, think about your first thought afterwards. Was that thought; Do they really mean it? Or maybe; that’s not fair to bow out like that. If you use sorry too many times, it doesn’t mean anything anymore. Just another scapegoat way of getting out of trouble. When you told someone you were sorry, did you really mean it, or are you just looking for peace in the situation?

Everybody that is reading this column, at least the ones that haven’t given up on it yet, have gotten a vision of one side or the other that has happened to them. Hmm, did he or she really mean it? Did I really mean it when I used it?

It takes two to argue, unless you have mental issues that allow you to argue with yourself. One of the quotes I put up, gets to this point when talking to yourself. Go to my quotes page to read it.

Lady in blue sweater still yelling,  lady in tan hoodie turned around and got quite

We know now that an argument really is never won, so what do we do, Billy? First off, if you are having a discussion or debate, and it starts getting heated, just shut up. You state your case and then stop talking. The other person may get mad and start yelling even more, but hey, if you are no longer involved, then they are arguing with themselves. It won’t take long, and they will figure it out too. Nothing worse than getting caught arguing with yourself. Trust me, my wife gets me arguing by myself quite often.

So can you when an argument? The answer is yes if you don’t get involved in the first place. And next time you feel the need to tell someone you are sorry, change it up a bit and tell them “I apologize, I believe we can work this out if we can be civil and not raise our voices. Will you allow me the opportunity to make this right?” Sounds better than that empty word sorry, doesn’t it? Take care out there and Remember, we are all in this together.

short stories

Do you have a kind spirit?

Are you a kind person? Do you care about others as much or more than yourself? Are you the most important person in the room and see others as beneath your superiority? These are questions that if you are not asking yourself, maybe you should.

Everyone on this planet is different.  There are no two people exactly alike. Even identical twins are not identical in spirit and observe their selves and others differently. My question to you is not only are you a kind person, but how do we know if someone else is truly kind? You have to determine you for yourself. As far as others, there are two sure fire ways I know if someone is truly a kind individual.

Number one is the reaction of a small child around this person. Now, I don’t mean when the child is acting shy or maybe even cautious of this other person because the child doesn’t know him or her. Most children will show both of these emotions to anyone they don’t know yet.  However, if you watch the child, you can tell a lot about this other person. A kind person will still draw the child’s curiosity. He or she may be hugged up to mom or dad’s leg, but still want to take glimpses of this new person.

If this stranger doesn’t have a kind spirit,  the child will never take another look. Instead, the little one will grip mom or dad’s leg as tight as possible, hiding their face in the parent’s leg and never even attempt to take another peek.

Small blonde child walking in back yard

How can a small child have these strong feelings at such a young age? This is because this little person has yet to be damaged by society.  You heard me right! Let’s put the child at say four years or younger, depending on when they start school. The child is still living by instinct. Once they go to school, things change. The child is forced to deal with all kinds of different people and to learn to get along and accept others no matter what. I’m not talking about race or handicaps or stuff like that because the child hasn’t been introduced to any such feelings just yet. I’m talking about kind and unkind people and trusting in both the same.

Once in school, usually starting first grade, society has started to take hold and instinct is starting to be less involved. If the parents are not on top of these new emotions, then society will take its hold and instinct will start to wither away. This will be the first start of bad thoughts of others because of differences like race, religion, mental abilities, athletic abilities, clothing  or any other Stupid reason not to like someone else for. However,  they will lose the ability to look out for the one thing they should be watching for, and that is someone that may really harm them. Society has now started taking over!

This is what sets humans apart from animals. No matter how old an animal gets, instinct is still there. We as humans tend to overlook our instincts and that is why a lot of humans tend to get into dangerous situations without even seeing it coming.

The second way I know if someone I’m talking to is kind or not is by watching my dog. Of course, a dog is going to protect his master no matter what. But if you really know your dog, you can tell when something is really not right. No matter how well-trained your dog is, he will advise you when something is wrong, even if he is going to get in trouble for it. Your dog is not only your protector but also and sometimes more importantly, your advisor of danger.

Golden retriever sitting, looking straight ahead

They say a dog can smell fear. I truly believe this to be fact. I also believe a dog can smell or sense a kind or unkind spirit in a person. If you are an unkind person and have a dog, the dog will protect you because they are so loyal. However, the dog will also be leery of you and never completely trust you.

So there it is. Are you a kind spirited person or not? If you’re not sure, watch a child or dog. They will let you know the truth about you! Until next time, be kind to yourself and others.